And we’re off! ✈️

I'm just a late bloomer I didn't peak in high school, I'm still out here gettin' cuter 💈💇‍♂️

“It’s interesting…but it’s not delicious.” I’m sure I’ve said that once or twice on a Friday night 😆 #GBBO

Creepy guys I meet from the internet: Where’s my hug? Me:

🎶I'd kill someone and bury the gun I'd do anything just for your love And my heart is breaking 'Cause you won't do the same thing I thought you and I were Bonnie and Clyde🎶

Just treated myself to a maple hazel frappe at Costa, which was tasty, don’t get me wrong. But EVERYTHING was maple hazel flavour. Not a pumpkin spice to be seen. Is pumpkin spice out and maple hazel in this year? I really fancied a pumpkin spice and will be upset if they’re not being sold anymore.

Getting ready for bed 🥱

🎶You said, "You're never gonna lose me So marry me", I said, "Absofuckinglutely"🎶 What an unexpected bop!

Existing songs aside, I’m really liking: Rocket Scientist Baby Steps Bonnie and Clyde Pushing Up Daisies Absofuckinglutely 🎶

Afternoon ☺️

My secret is out!

There’s been a big factory explosion in Swindon about 10 minutes from my house. Looks pretty nasty!

Dear Diary, it’s 10:20pm and I’m yet to be raptured…

This is a hard watch. Between the fat shamer who pulls faces every time her husband speaks. The ‘feminism is my whole personality’ one who’s offended every time her husband breathes. And the ice queen who’s hung up on lesbian labels. It’s difficult to ascertain who I dislike most. #MAFSUK

Tummy Tuesday 😊

“I wish this would stay up😩” Me too, girl 😆 #GBBO

So many hooker ducks tonight. These ducks need Jesus #GBBO

Just once, I want a judge to gag, spit their food out and say “tastes like shit” 😆 #GBBO

It always amuses me when the bakers deliberate over what temperature to set the oven to during the technical challenge. In my house, it’s 190 degrees for everything, whatever I’m doing 😆 #GBBO

Alison: “Today’s theme is food you’d have at school.” Baker: “I’m using red wine.” I clearly went to the wrong school 😆 #GBBO

13 years without my Dad. It seems a lifetime ago. Gone, but never forgotten ❤️

Catching up on last nights #MAFSUK and already my heart is aching for Dean. A certified fitty and seemingly a nice guy. I wish participants would stop saying “I’m open to someone different from my usual type” when they’re clearly not. It sets people up for failure, for the sake of TV drama.

@ip2guy.bsky.social Happy birthday mate 🥳

First de-ice post summer 🥶

I. Am. Wiped 🥱

Colleague phones me: I’ve asked the team to quote something and it was never done. Can you look into what’s happened? Me: Sure, what day did you send the request? Him: Today. 25 minutes ago. Me: (the only one in today)

Ooft! Poor Zayn keeps taking hits. But this is how you do a powerhouse ballad! The vocals be vocalling for sure on this.

Halfway there

Surgery: You can’t book a GP appointment for this. You need to email the admin team. Me: Emails Surgery replies: You need to book a GP appointment. Me: Calls for appointment. Surgery: I don’t think you can have an appointment for this. You should probably email your request through. Me:

I’m actually going to riot at that decision #GBBO

In the future, we’ll have TV’s that allow us to taste the things we’re watching on bake off😋 …and other video media 👀

Happy Monday 😆

A genuine conversation I had with my colleague this week, who was born the same year as me. It made me very sad 😆

STOP! ❤️

💯 It’s why I love FCF so much 🍆❤️

🎶Stop! In the name, of love. Before you break my heart🎶 ❤️💃💃💃

It’s only taken 50 billion attempts…But I’ve finally beaten Cynthia and her god damn Garchomp in Pokemon Shining Pearl. I can die now having happily lived a full life! 😅😆

Night folks x

I’ve been reading the book about the family the latest Conjuring was based on. It’s interesting, but far too many batshit crazy claims to be taken seriously. Every other day it was a new creature the demon appeared as, each more bizarre than the last, and it kept trying to shag them.

I bought this fancy new pasta bake sauce today, and the jar said “no need to boil the pasta first. Just put the dry pasta in the dish, cover it in sauce, water & into the oven.” I thought this was crazy talk, but hey, who am I to argue with a jar? Long story short. I think I’ve now broke a tooth 😅😩

We will never not celebrate Wet Wednesdays in this house!

My work needs a form from my GP saying “Tim suffers from X. He would benefit from Y from his employer.” I’ve just got back from asking my surgery how I go about requesting this. I thought it would be a simple enough question. But no. Reception had to argue it and turn it into some big ordeal.

Absolutely howling at Pui Man. I hope she stays 😆 #GBBO

One of my male colleagues has just became a father. On his return, another (older woman) colleague innocently emailed him “Hi Daddy” from a team email. I’m in hysterics everytime I see him now and she can’t understand why 😆😆😆

Goodnight 🖤

There seems to be this new trend in the supermarkets, where if you slap the word protein on the packaging in big bold writing, you can charge £2/£3 more per item 🙄

The new Conjuring film was really good. Probably my favourite in the series.