The worst part of getting a PhD is I can no longer take 85% of job advertisements seriously. They are fantasy narratives designed to hide the fact that the company does nothing, existing solely for the purpose of moving revenue from one place to another by offering promises and not products.

They should be careful what they speak into existence; I can almost guarantee you that the island that brought you Boaty McBoatface and Hottentot Venus would gladly vote for "beaver" notes.

I liked the name I already had so I just....kept it.

I usually say this behind closed doors bcuz I think patriarchy means men are routinely disrespected in our culture, but I will say right now with my full chest that I literally felt myself get stupider when I started testosterone & men really need to do some soul searching about being fucking idiots

As someone with babydoll size 5.5 feet and no dick who still somehow finds it within myself to wear correctly sized shoes, I feel safe saying that we're witnessing extremely small dick energy here.

Today is a gumbo day.

One night I was sitting in my colleague’s office after I’d finished teaching. I remember it being dark, the weather outside a very Baltimore mix of fog and icy rain. “Deric!” she yelled, out into the hallway. “Deric, get in here!” My colleague Deric came over.

Where the fuck is the entry for the mystic hermit in the woods, ugh

Had to go on LinkedIn for something for five minutes and threw up in my mouth a little on the underground

I fell asleep during a polygraph test once.

None of the Brits I've discussed American politics with seem to have any conception of the oversized power wielded by the batshit evangelical arm of the right. Like literally zero conception that intentionally ending the world is a meaningful driving force behind a huge swath of US policy.

My up close and personal experience with British Nazis is that they are basically the incels of working. Bro. Your inability to get a job & keep it isn't bcuz of immigrants. It's because you're incapable of simple adult skills like washing your clothes, bathing, & not being hammered at work.

I will never understand what part of "I don't want to hear about ____, it is a soul destroying topic and I am losing my absolute fucking mind because all anyone ever wants to talk to me about is _____" makes people think it is the right time to launch into a discussion about ____.

Operation small dick energy

The world gives you what you ask for. If you ask it to "get rid of [class of people] so I can have housing," the world will give you the first part & put the second in your hands. Ask for what you want. If you want housing, ask for it. Don't ask for a merely favourable environment

Is there a name for it if a person almost pathologically speaks as if to themselves rather than the people in the room? Like they start talking half mumbling and then they just keep talking regardless of whether anyone is listening, but ostensibly they are having a conversation with you?

I've been saying for a while that I think this was actually the long game all along. Gut labour by tying it to loathsome anti-workdr policies that its base does not, in fact, support.

My Greek classmates are trying to convince me I should start a social media channel devoted to chill viibes

sometimes I think about how for a single Eng lang assignment we were told to “learn enough Greek” we could compare 7 different translations of the Bible from 7 different time periods of English & compare them against the Greek for accuracy/poetry anyway, humanities really aren’t that easy lol

Learned a new culturally important insult today from the Algerian Muslim dude in the hostel: "bacon-shit ass motherfucker"

Scientists can create a dream team of 15 RPG characters based on special skills & stats & crunch numbers to optimise their performance across multiple metrics, but somehow we're still doing agricultural research design that can only recommend a single crop for performance on 3 metrics on 1 problem

Today in hostel life: someone shit directly and very neatly into the shower drain.

There's a Dutch guy in the hostel who never really talks to any of the men here and is kind of prickly, but he talks to EVERY woman in the place. I can't decide if he's creepy or has amazing game, but like....I guess this is technically 30% of why hostels exist, so good for him.

It is impossible for me to read scientific articles without my inner historian of science wincing about inevitable unquestioned assumptions. But the worst is when they acknowledge the assumption and then decide the assumption doesn't actually matter, when in fact it COMPLETELY CHANGES THE RESULTS

oh my god, I am going to lose my mind if I come across one more QR code ALREADY ON A WEBSITE BUT THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE A CLICKABLE LINK

If the business end of a charging cable gets hot to the touch and begins to smoke, is that because of a problem with the wall adapter or the cable itself? Or it could be either?

Last night, the right-wing, "Britain for the British" army boy in my room apologized for not believing me about how bad things have gotten in the US. Regular people posting what actually happens matters. Breaking through the tsunami of media bullshit to let people see with their own eyes matters.

Currently irritated that I can't just go straight from graduating with my PhD to being an associate dean. Like come ON

The Oxford ABD living in the hostel w me who once accused me of incuriosity for not needing phenomena described at the molecular level to be intellectually satisfied with my understanding doesn't know the difference between a rat & a mouse & just asked in seriousness whether mice could get pregnant

If you heard a business owner ask a contractor "can't you just innovate?" when the contractor is busy explaining how something should be done, What's your first internal response to that question?

So what you're saying is that demonstrating competence makes creatures rely on you more, crap

Hey insomniac American academics: Did scientific research database access ever get back to normal after all those articles started disappearing from the results last year, or is access to articles still being suppressed?

The students are usually pretty quiet in this beekeeping class, but everyone has 20 questions about bees fucking.

I am quickly developing gripes with historical Christian beekeeping practices, but that has not stopped me from being taken with the lady saint beekeeper. I contain multitudes

It's cliche to say that people see what they want to see. It becomes less trite when you ask yourself, as a serious task, what it is YOU aim to see when you look at the world.

Hey bsky. I have a friend who is homeless right now. He is too proud to ask for money to get himself an ID that would help him get a job, but if someone were to send him a digital camera so he could sell a few photographs to get the $ this would make his whole year.

Today's ADHD dive: supposedly bees that feed on belladonna nectar pass the poisonous alkaloids on to their honey.

Experimenting with herbal tinctures and concoctions today and am reminded of how much I love working with valerian root.

Brits have the chance to do the funniest thing ever by not falling for the dumb shit American voters fell for.

Me, watching people from leisurely cultures enjoying a slow meal together: yes, this is the way, this is perfect in every way Me, at a job where I am responsible for the area where people from these cultures eat breakfast: I will cut someone's face off if I cannot clean this table before 2pm

My hottest hot take in grad school was when I said I was fine -- delighted even -- if traditional academic disciplines were scrapped in favor of sweeping, multidisciplinary inquiry areas like "Environmental Studies" and "Science Studies." God forbid we center our subjects instead of our process.

Epstein’s economic power among academics was made possible by a capitalist system that makes higher education dependent on the charity economy rather than a public good supported by taxing the rich

The recent cold snap reminding me of xitter dogpiling me for saying not to drink natural water straight from the source. "do you ExPECt uS tO DIE of THIRsT?!?!|\!!" they shouted. No, sweet summer children. I expect you to boil the water before drinking. Dress in layers & don't use the oven for heat

I am officially in my grumpy old man phase of life & can regularly be heard asking how people can be raised, grown adults living on their own without knowing basic skills like how to place a grocery order, put away their own dishes, or know which foods to refrigerate so as not to poison themselves

In the last 2 two days they have banned multiple people from the hostel for a) stealing staff members' beer & whiskey, b) attempting to sell LSD to other guests, c) overstaying a booking, D) being publicly drunk, and e) using common areas nonstop to film social media content.

What is the worst biological subdiscipline and why is it taxonomy

I'm not normally petty, but when some incel who is ranked significantly higher than me in an online Go forum I'm on challenges me to a game and then berates me to quit and stop wasting his time, you can bet that I am going to drag that game out as long as humanly possible.

My brain seems to be coding language as "English" and "not English" so it keeps wanting to use Greek when I should be using Spanish and vice versa

The only thing keeping me sane while volunteering in this job are the shift notes other staff members write to describe customers' insane behavior