I think what I need is for someone to acknowledge that I don't give up.

Just in case you haven’t heard about this rock opera thing that’s raising funds for teen cancer stuff. Oh and it THIRTEEN NATIONS. P

Current mood.

What I want is for him to acknowledge the damage he did, but I know he will never do that. That's what makes this hard but I've seen this movie before and I know how it goes.

Even though ex has been blocked everywhere now, I still hear his BS in my head.

Send me a good messages please. I need to hear them this morning.

Day 7 of brain tumor awareness month (US) and it’s a voice straight from heaven! It’s my eldest, Eliana Blue Fischmann! Not only did she contribute to the rock opera, she and her sister are big reasons why I’m still alive. Visit Episode18.com to listen and donate.

A quick one for anyone wondering how this all works. Bottom line: just reach out to me with any questions from links to where to send stuff to you. Sorry for the crappy video… I’m running on fumes here. MRI next Monday and starting a new anxiety drug tonight so that’s fun!

I know it’s later in the day but May 6 was always Adam’s favorite day of brain tumor awareness month (US). I think? Anyway, our burgeoning friendship was cut short by GBM, but your spirit is all over this rock opera thing.

Vanity share. I'm in this. open.substack.com/pub/thatcanc...

Have you ever wanted to listen to a podcast about a rock opera and then be moved to donate to a teen cancer charity? Well… you’re in luck! A podcast all about MY TEEN CANCER ROCK OPERA and some of the folks involved is out NOW on the podcast app of your choice. Just look for Discograffiti.

#3GoodThings 1. love 2. Hope 3. Flonase

Day 5 and Byron King is still alive… at least in my mind. I think of him and his slow decline nearly every day. But more than that, he was a great friend who was there for me even while he was in his last days. He’s one of the people I miss most. Stupid brain cancer.

, cleaners and home health nurse have been here. Nothing I have to do for the rest of the day. Yay!

May the Fourth Be With You!

This 4th of May is for Zoe Noble who passed as she was about to submit a contribution to the rock opera. She died at 28 of the exact same weird diagnosis and location as me, but in the UK. She had just gotten engaged and gone back to work. So yeah, I took her passing extra personally.

Slightly diminish a book The Two Musketeers

Slightly diminish a book Ann of Green Gables (You might need to have read this one to get it.)

On the levothyroxine front I would just like to say that I nailed it when I changed my dose myself. Nurse practitioner is putting in my next refill at my new dosage. Something else went right! The shit I can do when I'm panicked. I'm a wonder!

Pharmacist told my mom's antibiotic might cause dizziness. That's in affirmative.

I don't need anything fancy, I'm just trying to get one that works. $150 does that if anyone can help out that would be amazing. danielleannebaum @ googles is PayPal. or Venmo is account.venmo.com/u/Danielle-S... thanks in advance for any help.

Culture results are backing them on the right antibiotic. Something went right!

Sometimes it's difficult to cut myself some slack, but it shouldn't be that way. "Urinary tract infections (UTIs) can trigger or worsen anxiety and panic attacks through physical, neurological, and emotional pathways."

If I'm right then it's time to let go. If you're right it's still. Time to let go

Ditto.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you need out of something that feels abusive the person who is making you feel bad will never believe they are abusive. But I believe you, and I think you deserve to be happy.

Today is day THREE OF Brain Tumor Awareness Month (US) so I wanted to give it up for Melissa Blank. Though she’s no longer with us, her words are all over the song “Oh Mockingbird!” along with her voice at the end… and her husband Steve too!

So the nurse discovered I have a UTI. It's pretty bad cuz it went un dected for so long. I started antibiotics and am waiting on a culture to see which bacteria has caused the infection then I might change antibiotics.

For the second day of brain tumor awareness month (US), I’m expressing my gratitude in a double shot! It’s Catie and Tobias Glossmann. You can learn more about Catie and all the cool things she does this weekend with a special episode of the Discograffiti podcast dedicated to the rock opera!

Obligatory promotional post for the rock opera!

It’s the first day of brain tumor awareness month (US) and the “official” release date of the rock opera, so we’re giving it up for the GOAT of all advocates, Adam Hayden! His passing last December was the final motivation to finish this dang thing. Adam’s not in it, but his legacy is all over it.

anyone able to spot me $10 so I can get a ride home and not walk in the rain?

Hey! Let’s give it up today for Mike Squires of the Couch Riffs podcast. He’s been a touring musician with everyone from Peter Hook to Duff McKagan. More than that, he’s just a good dude who sings, plays guitar, and talks on assorted songs. Visit Episode18.com to learn more!

Today we’re giving a shout out to Leanna House, a breast cancer survivor, who killed it as Aunt Louise and is one of the funniest and most inciteful people I know on this cancer stuff. To learn more about the rock opera and maybe make a donation to one of the charities, visit Episode18.com

Me: when my blood sugar was 34 that was really scary Mom: of course it was! That's the validation I need

She had a major impact on me posthumously.

Today we’re giving some love to Dave Gebroe - host of the Discograffiti music podcast and one of my closest friends. He’s also been touched by the cancer “bug” (kidney) among all sorts of other bs. Anyway, more about him and his critical role in making the rick opera a reality NEXT WEEKEND.

I'm not sleeping I'm dissociating It's the new "I'm checking my eyelids for cracks."

I'd like to be supported before I do the thing but most of the time I'm just praised after I've already done the thing.

I started out my day screaming because I thought one of my almost 16 year old cat's toe beans fell off. It was an olive. A black olive. Because I get high and eat sandwiches in bed at night.

Today we’re celebrating another technical and creative advisor to this 5+ year project. It’s Dr. Susan Rogers! Those who know who she is, KNOW and I still can’t believe I’ve become friendly with such a legend. Just know that this thing may have started as a joke but it got pretty legit.

Today let’s take a moment to give it up for Ulf Abrahamsson and his take on playing a neuro oncologist (that’s a brain cancer doc). And yes, that’s a current photo. Find out more— like how to donate at Episode18.com.

If you don't have any boundaries you make other people guess how to protect you. Don't ask me how I know.

Today’s celebrant contributed technical and creative advice. Rich Wexler is the person behind the Vintage Annals Archive IG account and podcast. He’s one of the most interesting people I know. Visit Episode18.com to donate to one or both charities.

💯

I don't know how to determined normal range or blood test but it sure AF wasn't using me as a baseline.

Them: But the lab tests say you're not dehydrated. Me: Fuck you and your lab tests.

Today’s celebrated rock opera contributor is Serena Hu! She’s done all sorts of creative advocacy and helped me understand the caregiver experience in this whole mess we call cancer. Want to listen and make a contribution, but don’t want to read the second card? Visit Episode18.com!

Today we’re celebrating Adem Kerimofski who not only contributed his voice and mastered everything thing at Future Ranch in Perth, Australia, he’s a fine human and talented music person. He’s in like 7,000 bands and runs Igloo Records. Look for it on BandCamp! Find out more at Episode18.com

Even my word of the day calendar is 420 friendly lol