Justin Wilson failed that couch

Justin Wilson failed that couch

This week's poll: If forced to ride the DASH bus, what would you hide your face behind? 1️⃣ Rubber Nixon mask 2️⃣ 19 lb pail of apple pie filling 3️⃣ Summer issue of Civil War Times 4️⃣ Peterson for Mayor yard sign

For DASH Bus, a third way Keep it fare-free - but only for rides to and from Ramparts Happy Hour

Undeterred Steven Peterson already planting signs ahead of the 2027 Mayoral Primary election

Beat the heat this weekend in the official cooling center of the Alexandria Times: a windowless closet deep inside your detached single-family home

Donald Sutherland, who famously had this reaction when discovering Alexandria's first bike lane, has died at 88

Shocking views prevail on city boards Many appointees fail to express proper devotion to Duke Street, entertain possible flaws on America's most perfect roadway

Over 90% of Alexandria voters didn't cast a ballot for Alyia Gaskins, sending a strong message to City Hall to widen Duke Street by seven lanes By Dino Drudi

BREAKING: There’s still 30 minutes left to write in Allison Silberberg for Mayor

Precincts favorable to Alyia Gaskins are seeing some of the highest turnout in the city. Here's why that's bad news for Alyia Gaskins

On election eve, Amy Jackson is touting new endorsements from Barack Obama, Elvis Presley, and your dog

Breaking: intelligence now indicates Peterson has absconded to his laboratory in Crab Key, off the coast of Jamaica, where he plans to deploy an atomic-powered radio beam to interfere with Alexandria voting machines

Has Steven Peterson fled to his Rocky Mountain supervillain lair, his dastardly plan to elect Alyia Gaskins by taking votes from Amy Jackson nearly complete? Many longtime residents think so, but Alexandria Journalism Project cannot confirm or deny

Enemies from Within We have in our Park and Recreation Commission known urbanists who nevertheless are still helping to shape our benches and sports fields By Bill Rossello

Seminary Road has become an eerie ghost town, deserted in the wake of the Wilson machine’s destructive policies

This week's poll: What was your reaction when Unite Here canvassers knocked on your door? 1️⃣ Put on colloidal silver necklace 2️⃣ Burned incense treated with silver nitrate 3️⃣ Hid under couch, texted necromancer 4️⃣ Voted for Allison Silberberg

Alyia Gaskins' answer of "no" to the question of casino support has many longtime residents wondering where she really stands

Between global warming, canvassing unions, and the planned Pickett Street road diet, Alexandria faces several existential crises - all of which call for the same answer. Allison, there's still time to run as an Independent

Over backyard cocktails, many longtime residents are asking the same question: what do the unions want? And will their household staff be joining one?

Remember the Starship song, "We Built This City" with the line "Too many runaways eating up the night"? Throughout the years, Alexandria residents have worked to prevent runaway plexes of all sizes from eating up our neighborhoods

The Unite Here Slate have their pens poised to sign the "Casino on Every Corner" initiative, per Wally. Future Alexandria Gambling Tsar Justin Wilson will begin by targeting Seminary Hill and Beverley Hills Neighborhoods for 5-over-1s with sin parlors on the ground floor

"Every member of the slate, once elected, will be required to start a newsletter that contains - at minimum - seven curse words per issue," says Wally (not his real name). "What's more, they won't be mailed to every resident's home - a repeat of the shadowy communications approach we saw with ZFH".

🚨ALEXANDRIA JOURNALISM PROJECT reports🚨 The cousin of an Alexandria resident's personal masseuse speaks out on what Unite Here canvassers are revealing about the Gaskins Slate's dark vision. Their identity is being withheld to protect their safety

Exciting new technology is raising the obvious question among Alexandrians: could a drug be formulated to regrow the city to the exact state it was when you moved here in 1983?

Mexico has elected its first female president, recalling Alexandria's historic election in 2015 of a woman brave enough to stand up to the Justin Wilson machine

In an effort to increase social media “engagement” we now present a picture of a road with cars on it

If you’ve got some third-hand gossip about Council and developers Our DMs are open as wide as the Potomac

A dangerous trend that began on the web-log of one Alexandria City Council candidate has predictably spread to the highest levels of government

My ideas would have widespread public support, if it wasn't for those meddling ADC door-knockers By Bill Rossello

Neighborhood listserv uncovers elitism in sports According to local investigators, Caps tickets can run tens, nay, hundreds of dollars. Mayor Wilson must deliver mailers informing the population of how few games they can afford to attend

DEVELOPING...Kirk McPike's dry cleaner reportedly double dipped a chip at a party in 1993

BREAKING: Alyia Gaskins' father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate tipped poorly at an Outback Steakhouse seven years ago

Pulling Back the Curtain New documents obtained via FOIA request reveal that no members of Beverley Hills, Rosemont listservs were present for closed-door discussions about Monumental proposal

To be clear, the editorial board is not suggesting you attend tonight‘s Del Ray Citizens Association meeting dressed as an Elmo on fire. We are merely encouraging you to attend and embody that spirit as fully as possible

Panic! At the Yards A tent city is rapidly rising in our beloved historic strip mall. Will this council stop a sinful traffic tragedy? Our hopes are lower than the Wizards' playoff chances

We'll never forget the first time we met Mayor Wilson. We were a young editorial board and he was a council member —giving a briefing on the state of the city. Throughout our careers, we often disagreed. And often strongly. But from that first briefing  — his existence as a person was evident.

Truly, is there any article in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that ZFH/HFA does not breach?

Justin, You Will Get Served The Alexandria Times is sending Paws to City Hall this morning with papers in mouth, but first we need your help choosing which of the many grounds we will cite. A formality, but a necessary one. Lawyers and law-lovers of our fair city, please help us pick a statute!

Our Blackest Tuesday playlist continues with a heartfelt tune named for our greatest mayor - one who never shied away from saying "no" every time change reared its ugly head.

Ooh, can I play? This one goes out to all the single family homeowners out there. "Sometimes you gotta stay in" while keeping others out!

To support our readers through this most trying day, we proudly present the Blackest Tuesday playlist: music to soothe the longtime resident. First up, Weezer's stirring ode to the allure of a beloved Alexandria SFH neighborhood. Indeed, Rivers, that's where we want to be.

@alexpitchbot.bsky.social with the end of times near, we talk to single family homeowners planning for the rapture.

On this momentous Giving Tuesday, give the developers and their functionaries in Council a piece of your mind. #resist

Good morning on the day REAL DEMOCRACY dies in Alexandria! Sad!

Today is Black Friday, where we can find great deals on gifts for the holidays. Enjoy it, for on Blackest Tuesday, council will give us the most terrible gift of all: a deal with the devil-opers

Should he recuse, or resign? Bill offers his view on how Councilman McPike must react to the Times’ stunning expose. Plus Denise shares her famous Red Brick Potatoes recipe. All in this week’s issue!

Can’t top this one

UPDATE: In the spirit of community inclusion we share information on counter-counter programming to our counter-programming: There is a Large Graveyard Filled With My Enemies. Those Who Pick Fights With Me Do So at Their Own Peril Featuring ...oh you know who Tuesday, November 28, 6pm, City Hall

Facing your own mortality and impermanence with grace: an Alexandria Times Alternative Programming Event When: Tuesday, November 28, 6pm Where: A single family detached home to be determined