Alohaoly moly. Can’t wait. Let’s luauta control folks

I’d like to thank all y’all that came to see TLA in Orange County this past Sunday. Jk. no one on Bluesky (besides me, sadly) would ever be caught dead in Orange County

Still some tix folks. Join the army eh?

Little known fact: the PT in PT Barnum stands for pig tits

20 years is a long time

Onward heathen soldiers tix here www.etix.com/ticket/e/103...

My new mc name is sex ed

that Georgia Maq cover of Samson is quite possibly the best cover of an already perfect seemingly uncoverable song I've ever heard and it's one of the most powerful songs I've ever heard in its own right. No qualifiers. Fuck. Incredible.

Pimp brisket is a good name for a horrible bbq party bar in Orlando

this place is like that one level of mormon heaven where you know that the people you love are there but you can't find them because god is a cruel dick

It’s gonna be so awesome when Mitch McConnell dies

a few weeks ago I was in the vicinity of this dude who let it be known that he was a standup comedian and then after he claimed not to understand the idea of 'twitter comedy' he said "I AM a comedy expert actually" which may be the most humor-free sentence ever uttered

Andrew tate is so cool

I don’t believe I lost my bag of cocaine at the White House

I’m like a sommelier for the various pronunciations of the word sommelier

When I was a kid the movie the last starfighter taught me that video games can be, among other things, secret tests to see if you have what it takes to command a galactic fleet. In other news I’m oddly good at that one line drawing game so I’ll probably get my engineering degree by mail any day now

The hamburglar has to be the only restaurant mascot ever to have their defining characteristic be “I steal from this restaurant.” And that’s not the weirdest part. The mayor’s head was a cheeseburger, which contextually gives the hamburglar strong face eating assassin vibes. #vivahamburglar

Nothing more disheartening than seeing otherwise benign subcultures flying the pawstika flag

What’s a band that has a name that would be better suited to a different genre? I’ll begin: the Backstreet Boys should be an oi/street punk/skinhead band

the looped piano in Diamonds and Guns is the jazz loving urbanite cousin of the tweaked out hoser baseline from Rags & Bones. This post is really for everyone, huh? Broad appeal, easily understood, universally obvious if you think about it

When I was in 5th grade a new girl joined our class halfway through the year. I assume she was sad to leave her friends and her parents told her she could get a new start and be whoever she wanted so she told us her nickname was DJ. Those weren't her initials. Full house was very popular at the time