“This Bar Used to Serve Normal Food but Now It Serves Fucked Up Shit” - food blogs

If the insta influencer journalist wants to camgirl for the creature from the black lagoon that’s none of my business

Remember what they took from us

I was listening to an ex-military guy say every terrible commander he had focused on uniforms and shit like that bc they didn’t understand the important stuff

I know there’s a lot going on but a new spelling of Steven just dropped

They got so high on their own supply I genuinely think they started believing the Pizzagate Democratic adenochrome shit and were probably shocked it’s not in there

He is keeping that fucking desk and we will never get it back

I have my TikTok so expertly curated now it’s just drunk people being removed from planes, bad date stories, and funny dog videos

Do I wanna know? I don’t wanna know

My wife is at the airport after Girls Weekend

This is even wilder than the pull quote. Watch this demented old man ramble nonsense. He’s days away from ordering a nuclear strike on Port Charles because he’s mad at General Hospital.

I really want you to understand the stakes, I left a VOICEMAIL

I’ve given tens of thousands of dollars to Democrats over the years. For what. Nothing.

I am furious. FURIOUS. Fuck every one of these losers. We just kept paychecks from hardworking federal employees for NOTHING

Big day for the wallet inspectors

I just left Schiff a voicemail, you can too. I ended with a plaintive “Come on Adam, time to be strong,” this prob won’t work

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Ok here is the updated list of death penalty offenses, please update your records: Ordering more than 2 sandwiches in the deli line Double parking on Fell/Oak Whistling loudly in public Watching videos on your phone at any audible volume

Our Dipshit President

Ok but this ad is kinda great? youtu.be/9jIZggOV1Fg?...

Ok now I’m NEVER going to Target again

Honestly the most Vanderbilt picture that has ever Vanderbilted

On the upside I was in the car with my kid and I put music on and she said “YOU listen to this? This is like for 20 year olds”

This is gonna upset you but how long ago do you think is the last time Donald and Melania hit it

My kid was just singing “Livin on a Prayer” to herself. She’s 12.

If this gets to the Supreme Court and they stop food money from going out it makes expanding the court EXPONENTIALLY easier

That Bay Area experience of getting absolutely housed at all you can eat Korean BBQ by your kid

Every once in a while I think about Kristen Modafferi, a girl who disappeared from Crocker Galleria in SF one day in 1997 and has never been seen again en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappe...

The tackiness will continue until the breakfast buffet improves

I remember when we voted for independent redistricting in CA, there was a sense that “this’ll be fair for everyone, good idea” then the Republican president called us demons and his entire party went insane Gerrymander the fuck out of my state please, they wanted a fight and they’ll get one

“My kid said she liked ice cream. So I gave her salmon and broccoli ice cream and now she’s singing a different tune. Hypocrisy all the way.”

If anyone you know is thinking about joining the military just show them Boots and that’s the end of that

I guess the best thing about tomorrow is that we don’t have to hear about the mayoral election in New York City for 4 years

Orson Welles from the Nostradamus doc that scared the shit out of me as a kid

This Niners kicker crosses himself more than a priest three deep at the graduation

Football stadiums used to be named Butt Field and Gepetto Stadium and now they’re Arcana Park or Geolocation Field

The Japanese Navy after Pearl Harbor

That’s the worst thing anyone named Will Smith has ever done on live TV

Welcome to Bluesky, if you didn’t like baseball you do now

How bad did Luke Wilson need money

Mr President do not sit by while the Dodgers kill innocent Christians

Biggest heart stab today was cute girl at checkout dressed like a cat happily chirping “oh I don’t need to see your ID!” at me

I have discovered a livestream of karaoke from a bar in Liverpool, this must be what splitting the atom felt like

Me excitedly texting details of the Blue Jays lineup to my wife, we both barely knew they existed 2 months ago

The fact that Republicans haven’t gotten rid of the filibuster yet shows that they know Dems will fucking go HAM when they get back in power

“Don’t fuck with Lily Allen” is the new “Don’t talk to Isaac Chotiner”

Got a kid sick at home from school which is a minor inconvenience for me but THE BEST DAY OF THE DOGS LIFE