It's pretty clear to me that MAGA never read, "All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." And yes, I realize if I'd stopped at "It's pretty clear to me that MAGA never read" that would also be accurate.

I'm about 100% certain that if you take the Colbert Questionnaire, the answer to "What number am I thinking of?" is 42. No one has guessed correctly as of yet.

And here we go again. Facebook hates that I'm a prolific writer and thinks I'm a spam bot.

Okay, it's official. I can post a comment just about anywhere on Facebook EXCEPT in comment sections related to Charlie Kirk. So if you're waiting for a reply in one? I've reported the issue as a "bug" (as if I don't know better) and will respond if I'm able to in the future.

A lot of Nazi sympathizers in Germany un-alived themselves when they learned the extent of Hitler's atrocities. If you can stomach it, check in with that crazy uncle or mother (if they'll let you) to see where they are with the Epstein stuff that's due to come out about Trump MUCH sooner than later.

Did you know it’s been proven that people attracted to racism and right-wing politics are less intelligent than liberals? Evidence shows MAGA are literally mentally inferior than the rest of us. Enjoy this article about it: substack.com/@douglaswayn...

It's impossible to engage in a conversation on Facebook forums. The notification system is terrible, half the time I have to keep track of what sections I was in to catch replies it didn't bring to my attention.

Royalty free instrumental! This perky percussive track features some synthesized elements, wood chimes, bongo, middle eastern percussion, hand claps, and electronic kicks. Previews automatically when you click the link. "Racing the Bus" on Pond5 www.pond5.com/royalty-free...

Election monitoring will be key in 2026. Do not doubt for a second that the GOP will lie, cheat, and steal their way to positions of power.

I want just one reporter to fire back at him, "ANSWER THE QUESTION, RAPIST!"

Next time MAGA accuses you of being stupid? Remind them of this... www.psychologicalscience.org/news/were-on...

Sync music! This fun instrumental piece features electronic drums, water pumpkin, wood chimes, hand claps, shaker, drum kit, and minimal synthesizer work. "I Can Clap All Day" on Pond5 www.pond5.com/royalty-free...

Someone called Trump "The Nod Father" and my brain went wild... Slob Father, Nod Father, Knob Father, Gob Father, Clod Father

New sync music... Pure 80s cheese! This instrumental was written as if it was the closing credits theme for a teen dramedy not starring Molly Ringwald or Emilio Estevez because they're too expensive. Even broke out the old Yamaha DX-7 bass samples. "Summer of 85" www.pond5.com/royalty-free...

The exact quote, from www.newsweek.com/jd-vance-don... FUCK J.D. VANCE

That pic of J.D. appearing to berate Usha and her body language? Friendly reminder... Earlier this year he was quoted saying, “Women should stay in abusive relationships for the sake of the children.” Someone needs to check on Usha and the kids!

The voting machines failed in a tiny town. The problem? The way the ballots were printed. Ovals from one side were counted on the other then flipped the result. www.reddit.com/r/news/comme...

This instrumental track was inspired by African pieces and was praised by my A&R screener for proper use of authentic instrumentation. It didn't quite match the listing I submitted it for so I decided to make it available here. www.pond5.com/royalty-free...

Trump has always been stupid but now that he's sundowning he's going to come across as even more deranged. We're going to hear him fling the C-word and the N-word (with a hard R) before he expires, I just know it.

Welp, it's my mother's 79th birthday. But because she decided to go no-contact over my hatred of Trump, I don't get to tell her happy birthday. She simply won't answer my calls or respond to emails. Back to pretending she was ingested by "The Thing," I guess... 😔

RFK Jr is an imminent threat to the health of our nation and frankly the world. Thank goodness the real professionals are standing up to him.

I think we need to disarm men, specifically white males, until they can be individually adjudicated by a licensed psychologist. According to Ammo.com, the majority of mass shootings in the U.S. since 1966 were carried out by white males.

BREAKING NEWS! Pete Hegseth is still a douche.

I don't believe in a god but I'm 100% certain Trump is the DEVIL

Never ever ever ever EVER forget that dillweed Mitch McConnell stole two SCOTUS seats. One from Obama and one from Biden. Fucking turtle deserves every bad thing that ever happens to him for that.

Guys, it's pathetic to be self-employed. So sayeth Jose here.

Which is meaner? "You look like you were hit with the ugly stick and went back for seconds" or "I'm not attracted to women who look like they can eat a 40oz steak in five minutes." I already went with the latter, just asking for future reference.

I honestly don't understand why people call themselves "conservatives" anymore. What's conservative about wanting to tell others how to live their lives?

While it is a beloved holiday classic, one has to admit that "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is batshit insane. We got an elf who wants to be a dentist, a mutant reindeer who can make his nose blink red...

$100 to the first journalist who shouts back, “QUIET, PIGGY!”

Water for noodles will take about half an hour to come to a boil if you're groggy and eventually realize you only set the burner to "Medium." Be sure to like and subscribe for more cooking tips, fam!

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Gene is 6'2". If Trump isn't exactly 5'9" I'll eat my hat. My hat, by the way, will be made of pizza.

If he goes to prison, this guy is gonna get SOOOO MANY wedding proposals via snail mail!

Mood: www.taxi.com/members/1xEs...

Indiana Jones knew there was only one way to deal with Nazis. You cannot reason with a Nazi.

Trump called a CNN reporter (female, of course) "stupid" and "nasty" yesterday. This is after calling others "piggy" and "ugly." $100 to the first journalist who shouts at him, "FUCK YOU, FATASS!" and captures his reaction on camera.

Mood: music.youtube.com/watch?v=SnMy...

We honest-to-goodness need literacy tests for being online. SO tired of "debating" people who eventually display that they don't know the difference between they're, there, and their.

She turned off my annual recording of "Rudolph." Do I turn off ALL THE TCM MOVIES SHE NEVER WATCHES AND COLLECTS?! This is a story about a shared YouTube TV account.

I did NOT have that nutjob Don Bongino admitting he was paid to spread lies and conspiracy theories before taking a job in Trump's government on my 2025 Bingo card.

RFK Jr. clearly wants poor children to die. There is no other explanation for today's announcement. Honest to goodness Death Panels.

It's Bandcamp Friday! Until midnight tonight (Pacific Time), for every purchase on Bandcamp they waive their revenue share and pass the funds directly to artists & labels. douglaswaynericketts.bandcamp.com/album/music-...

Well this is a new wrinkle. And it's a state case. Trump slapped with $310M lawsuit alleging Epstein-identical trafficking operation - MSN/Raw Story www.msn.com/en-us/news/p...

Another new audiobook narrated by yours truly has been released! In "The 60-Minute Hustle: 10 Fast Ways to Make Real Money Online," you’ll discover how everyday people are turning laptops into paychecks with simple, proven strategies that work. No corporate jargon. No fake millionaire hype.

If you need about an hour of relaxing jazz in your life my album "Unmodern Jazz" is streaming right now on Pandora. And look at that revenue since it was released last year! 😆 www.pandora.com/artist/dougl...

It's Bandcamp Friday tomorrow! On Dec 5th from midnight to midnight PST, for every purchase on Bandcamp they waive their revenue share and pass the funds directly to artists & labels. douglaswaynericketts.bandcamp.com/album/unmode...

New audiobook narrated by yours truly! "ADDITION: The Habit that Runs the World" by James Johnson is now available on Amazon and Audible. Coming soon to iTunes. Amazon: www.amazon.com/Addiction-Ha... Audible: www.audible.com/search?keywo...

My PC is set up in a manner which makes the speakers emanate a "click" when a website is trying to access my microphone. It does it about half the time when I load the Substack site. Do with that information what you will.