I wasn’t planning on using this account again, but I don’t like how I left things. It’s unlikely I’ll be reentering the fandom so this will be my last post. I’d deleted all my social media apps in January, so I’m only just now seeing the incredibly kind DMs from people checking in. Thank you ❤️ 1/5

I’m not okay, but I will be. Thank you to everyone who reached out in comments and via DMs. I’m getting the help I need to deal with everything that’s happened. >

My voice is gone from crying, I can’t stop shaking. I’m truly in such a bad place right now. Why would I invite this back into my life, why would I ruin my own mental health like this when I know how badly it would play out if I did what I’ve been accused of. >

I’ll be seeking legal advice tomorrow. This has reached the point of defamation and my mental health is so bad that I’m genuinely scared right now.

To accuse me of manipulating you into s*icide when you know my sister's dad k*lled himself and my family deals with that trauma every day. To say I would EVER push you to k**l yourself is just so horrifying, disgusting, & against my entire character. I truly can't deal with this anymore. I'm done.

I want to say this as soon as possible -- I cannot even begin to explain to all of you how deeply, deeply disgusted I am that Mira would lie about this. August absolutely DID NOT share this information with me. There is zero proof of this.

I’ve been offline for several days and have just been sent a link of a post by Mira accusing me of outing her as a sex worker during that time. I DID NOT OUT HER. I did not share that information with the person she anonymously told it to. I would NEVER publicly out someone for sex work. >

You know you’re in your thirties when you spend your birthday in Ikea 🇸🇪 🎉

I’m on an unplanned train journey across England after my bus was cancelled, so for WIP Wednesday I want to share a WIP I’ve been tinkering with since the last time I took this train.

The bus I was meant to take from the airport to my sister’s was cancelled because of snow. This was the snow.

I fucking love Stardew Valley mods. They can answer any question you’ve ever had about the game, like what happens if you fuck one of the monsters from the mines.

I need to rant about work for a minute because I’m feeling so overwhelmed. I had to do some paperwork today for my business and as much as I love working for myself, seeing how much work I did last year for almost no money was a kick in the teeth. >

I get why people shy away from unfollowing problematic fandom folk, it can bring ire to your door, but man, seeing so many mutuals continue to interact and support certain fans who have done immense harm feels not great.

Izzy Hands

Proof that Our Flag Means Death is a great piece of media is the fact I’ve been writing about it since 2022, which is like 30 years in ADHD time.

Hey #OFMD fandom, do you like ✨️DATA✨️? and are you ready to face your year in fanfiction? Proudly presenting: the Unofficial OFMD AO3 Wrapped 2024 🎉 (big thanks to @blakbonnet.bsky.social for helping me with alt text 💖) ⬇️ A THREAD ⬇️

Ed’s thighs are getting tired as he bounces in Stede’s lap and he starts to slow down, but then Stede moans beneath him.

I get around 2-3 ao3 comments a month since I took a writing break, and it’s always the loveliest surprise when they hit my inbox. If anyone ever feels it’s been too long since a fic was published to comment, it’s not. They’re always welcome and it’s so nice to know the stories are still enjoyed ❤️

I had a job that was so stressful I disassociated for two weeks straight. I genuinely thought I was living in my own hellish version of the movie Being John Malkovich, BUT it did lead to me starting my business the same year so it wasn’t all bad 🤩

The only thing worse than an expensive product not working is an expensive product working so well that you have to keep buying it.

Post you in a different era 19 year old me, halfway through getting certified as a hairdresser and sick of the other students touching my hair 😅

I need David’s PO Box details, for no particular reason

Now I have my own dryocampa rubicunda 😊💜 @cobaltaugust.bsky.social

Every night, before I go to bed, I carry my dog out to the garden and we look up at the stars together for a few minutes. It’s my favourite part of the day.

My partner when I show him my fifth new hobby of the month

I was looking at my fic stats since 2022 and my word count plummeted after getting my ADHD diagnosis. I thought it was because I started medication but I realised today it’s because thirty years of masking hit me all at once and I’ve been burned out for over a year 😄

Ed, dying to tell Stede how he feels after a month together, takes Stede to the local aquarium. As they stand in the blue glow of the tanks, Ed points at a spotted eel. 'That's how I feel about you.’ Stede stares into the tank, confused. 'Like a fish?' 'No, that's a moray.’

Something important I learned in recent years is to be careful who you open up to online about your mental health. If someone swoops in purporting they have all the answers to your problems they’re either a) overestimating their ability to help or b) using it as a way to make you dependent on them.

I don’t have it in me to clown all the way up to the 9th because the cancellation ruined my birthday last year, (found out early on the 10th, bday was following day) but there’s still a small part of me hoping I’ll wake up to the best early birthday present ever 🥺

My non fandom New Year’s resolution is to try and get my disordered eating under control and to start speaking up when family members comment on my weight🤞

I made it through two hours of my partner’s family badly misquoting Monty Python (my biggest hyperfixation as a kid) and I didn’t correct anyone.

I started my new year’s fandom resolution a few days ago (stop being so negative on here) and so far I’ve achieved it, but it’s also reminded me that I’m just a naturally negative person and changing a whole part of my personality is annoyingly hard 🥲 >

@cobaltaugust.bsky.social 's Hard Reset is so funny and so our boys. Their work is such a nice hug archiveofourown.org/works/58580866

Rang in the first new year of my thirties in style 🥳 🍾

DJenks: ghost Izzy real The fandom:

Low key embarrassing that I need a medical massage on my shoulder because I drew doggie Ed too many times this year.

I genuinely adore it that everyone describes Stede as a lunatic in Hard Reset, because I wasn’t trying to write him like that, he just became more unhinged with every edit. He went from shy and reserved to this and I’ll never regret it.

My heart sank when I read this but then I remembered how hard that first year or two of living together can be while you adjust to sharing your life. They’re dealing with that while running a business out of their home - it would be strange if they weren’t struggling and drifting. They’ll be okay.

Wherever you go, there you are.

My only take on the current installment of the S3 fever dream thread is that it would feel out of character if they weren’t bickering. For two men who yap as much as they do I’d be worried if they weren’t constantly finding ways to mildly annoy each other.

I disappear for one day and miss the fandom going feral over jealous Ed??? That’s my bread and butter, my reason for living, the thing I will write a million times and then a million times more, and I missed it! Gonna drop my fave jealousy fic and then go pout in the corner

Me: I’m a serious writer My writing:

My dog barked at my partner’s uncle when he came to the house. Uncle: why is she barking? Me: she doesn’t like men. Uncle: well at least I know I’m a man, unlike some people. Me: she doesn’t like bigots either.

We’ll get a nice, calm Christmas photo one of these years

All I’m saying is if a streamer picked up s1 & s2 and gave the show a holiday special to wrap up the story they’d gain so many life long subscribers.

1775. An editor comes into work on Christmas eve to find a manuscript on his desk. The title: A HISTORY OF PYRATES by Charles Johnson. (We have no budget so we’ll say the editor is played by Michael Stuhlbarg).

My favourite S3 headcanon actually being canon is making me incredibly emotional 🥺

TBD