New story out at citywide lunch. This one’s not for the squeamish 😅 citywidelunch.wordpress.com/you-never-tu...

Bringing my copy of Panenka to Dublin with me next month just in case i bump into @ronanhession.bsky.social when I’m out and about. But Murphy’s Law suggests I will be without a pen if this manifests, so if you read this Ro, keep one on you 😅

There are few things on this earth more satisfying than a mortadella sandwich on tiger bloomer with sweet onion, tomato, mayo, and whole grain mustard

I wish five or ten people would preorder my book this week- low key shitting myself that nobody will buy it 😅

My #TBR pile #BookSky Which should I read next when I’m finished with Mamele?

Beabadoobee bass player straight up murdering me with that tone #Glastonbury2025

Japanese Breakfast’s singer is absolutely beating the hell out of that gong #Glastonbury2025

Why Did the Novel-Reading Man Disappear? I’m literally right here! www.nytimes.com/2025/06/25/s...

Was just made to complete at least 10 different captchas to submit an ordinary-ass google form Pete Hegseth could learn a thing or two 😅

Cabbage has been one of the bright spots in my life these last few months 🥬

If you wanna know how my life is going, I just ate a Big Mac, a QP w/ cheese, 2 cheeseburgers, 2 large fries, and 2 medium fries in a single sitting

Legz for daze

You’re not a regular until you’ve defecated at the pub 21 times. Congrats. You’re the guy the bartenders know as the guy that drinks Stella and leaves a shit

Today is the day when cask ale called my name… And I answered it

I am eating a cronut and watching Oingo Boingo live videos on YouTube from 1983 life has never been better

Lola Young’s Messy is as perfect as pop music gets

🌈 happy pride to all the straights and gays and inbetweeners 🌈

Malkmus is a feeling www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

FUCK YEAH NEW CATE LEBON THIS YEAR PLUS A FUCKING TOUR!!! best news I’ve heard in awhile 😀 pitchfork.com/news/cate-le...

Hey everybody is BlueSky really dead? Where are all my literary shitposters at??

There are cathedrals everywhere you look

It must be international “drive your sailboat on the wrong side of the river” day or something ⛴️ #FerryDriverProblems

Patio weather on the river Tyne

Sheridan Smith is a national treasure

Furnished by IKEA I suppose I can look forward to a long day of putting this shit together 😅

MASSIVE!

Miley nutted that bastard #HWTL #NUFC

Sometimes your life implodes and you find yourself scrambling to move into a sad small apartment. That’s where I’m at right now. No sleep. No reprieve from work. Nothing but boxes and garbage bags of clothes and financial entanglements to untangle. It’s tough but things like this sometimes happen

C’mon Palace! 😅

How have managed to snooze on the antiseptic bliss of dettol for so many years?

Got all the nasty stray hairs and product residue off my brush and I never want to brush my hair again because it will get nasty again

Is bluesky going dead slow for anyone else or is that just another “me problem”? Thanks in advance

Look what arrived in the northeast of England @shelbyhinte.bsky.social

Yes - which means if you bring Kaaboo back it will be a lot more fun with legal weed 😂😂

Arsenal 1 - 2 Bournemouth

Your kids get a max of two toys and then grow up to work in the same factory as their father and grandfather screwing in tiny screws. It’s called The American Dream.

😂😂😂 www.theguardian.com/books/2025/a...

TODAY! Come one, come all. It's fixin' to be a great virtual reading, and it's for a great cause.

This is fucking funny bro

How can she protect the homeland when she can't even hang onto a purse full of money? gift article: www.nytimes.com/2025/04/21/u...

Cabbage is hot shit. Seriously the sleepy rockstar of my dinner plate every time

Not sure about you but if I were JD Vance and managed to bore the pope to death with one conversation I'd probably start re-evaluating some things.

The pontiff is dead

Hey dipshit songwriter: a key change ain’t fooling anyone. Just dig deep and write a bridge. Or end the song. I don’t want to hear that shit for more than 3:30 unless it’s Yes “long distance runaround” live at Rockpalast

Haven’t seen ex-wife #2 in awhile but she’s still kicking around

I hate when commentators talk about how “watchable” a match is. Of course, it’s #NUFC the most entertaining side in the #EPL

Darlow is 10x better than Meslier

New rules for football penalty (unsolicited proposal): 1) coin flip for terms a) from the spot Or b) one on one like 90’s MLS pens

Love to see Darlow between the sticks for Leeds. He was great for #NUFC when called upon and will always be regarded fondly

Fucking love this guy