// That actually got me to check the relationship charts because why was Yuri targeted. Is this why he tries to kill me every game. Why does he and Yuri have the lowest relationship score in the entire game.

This guy is actually the biggest hater on the ship.

I don't know. It came to me in a dream.

Imagine you are Remnan. Would you rather go through: A) Citizen Slime or B) The Kukrushka Incident

"What the fuck? And obviously I'm going to die someday, but what the fuck?"

"Boring..."

"Seen it? When? What happened?"

"You ever feel like he has some unaddressed anger issues?"

The simulation is revealing a lot about what kind of person Remu is.

Hey buddy, instead of killing everyone on the ship, what if we went to the simulation room and pretended to shoot some aliens, huh?

HEY WOAH HEY HEY BUDDY

Those are way better odds than I was expecting.

Can someone smarter than me calculate the death chance

I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.

I'm going to— Shut the fuck up? This is my great reveal?

You know what I like to do in situations like this?

I figure you cannot escalate a situation beyond attempted murder. That feels like the peak. We can only go down from here.

No. Bring back the hammer.

Oh, I forgot. You're both two halves of a whole devil.

CAN YOU TELL HER TO CEASE. PLEASE.

HELP HELP SHES GOT A FUCKING ENERGY SWORD

They gotta duct tape my mouth shut.

He's not cooking shit.

This guy's hallucinating.

// Kukrushka episode. Yuri all up in his business. Raqio sabotaging his shit. Massive target on his back and the GA sure as hell not defending him. This is about to be Remnan's biggest loss yet.

This is killing me. I'm gonna be sick. I'm leaving.

Holy shit wait. Did Remu just loudly admit that?

Aw, that's just Deadpool. Had me all excited for nothing.

Spandex where? I love men in spandex.

// Good morning chat, hope you're excited for your daily 20 minutes of Sha-ming.

"Yeah, you always feel bad for him. I think he can handle himself. In everything except a social interaction, I mean!"

"Raqio doesn't believe in chewing food, so they've got this vitamin pills they take with water. ... The nutripaste is kind of a myth. SQ kept saying that's the kind of thing Remu would 'totally eat' and he foolishly confirmed it 'was pretty good,' so we've been giving him shit for it ever since."

Dude..... What the heck...? Is the burger that good?

Damn bro! Chew yo fuckin' food! Nobody's taking it from you!

I do not claim to have eaten the nutripaste nor the mineral pills.

We on that flavorless, nutritional gruel grind.

"Oh right, I forgot you're crazy. Sorry for calling you a liar."

"Keep making up words and see what happens." Nothing. Nothing will happen.

"Just because he looks like he hasn't brushed his hair in twenty years doesn't mean you can call him shaggy."

Just so we're all clear, Raqio definitely went on to spend time doing mindless activities with him.

A really soggy one.

His photo in the group chat is a rabbit too. You guys may be onto something.

"You gotta leave that kind of talk to Yuriko. It doesn't sound right coming out of your mouth." Another shot, another whiff. "I'm not a book guy, so no thanks. Leave the reading to him and Gina."

"Animal intellectualization is kind of a misnomer. All animals are smart, y'know? Perfectly adapted to their home and stuff. What they're studying is a specific set of neurological activity—the kind that manages language and socialization, and complex tasks. What parts of the brain make humans —

"You know what oxygen is, right? Now tell me ten organic compounds that use it as a base. Can't, right? Just 'cuz you know what something is doesn't make you an expert, dumbass. I never claimed to be High Priest of Hyrule." The more Majora talks, the less any of what he says makes sense. The only —

"Fuck if I know." He never claimed to be an expert. Hell, he doesn't want to be an expert. "Seems like we're both terrible. It means it's a fair fight." He punctuates this with a shot that manages to sink two balls. Pure luck, but he's looking quite smug about it.

"Huh." Termina doesn't ring any bells. It's not a part of his world, and he's not nearly nerdy enough to pick up on it. However... "Isn't Hyrule that place in Zelda? I mean, you do seem pretty obsessed with those games." His shot is pretty terrible. He does not enjoy this game because he is —

"Nice made up games you've got there. We can stick with 8-ball rules, it's less complicated that way." And he's bad at counting. Not because he's bad at math, but because he can't focus on it. He sets up the balls carefully... Multiple times, because they keep moving once he's done. —

He rolls off the table when Majora approaches and picks up his own cue. "You know how to play?"