This meme is evergreen to me. It’s the last image I saw when I truly wanted to exist in the current moment. My youth died with the chungus

Nice day for a beach stop!

There’s that song that’s called Tom’s Diner, yeah the one by Suzanne Vega, it was stuck so deep in my head that it altered all my speaking, and it went it went that way for two weeks before my ex-girlfriend left me, and if you know what I’m talkin bout then read this all again,

A man fasts for 40 days and 40 nights. After, he’s tempted by lavish rewards offered by a smiling figure who makes a show of testing the greed sewn into humanity. Is it the book of Matthew, chapter 4, or is it a Mr. Beast video

Holy shit you guys I think Mr. Beast is actually the antichrist

Turns out shakshouka is NOT an expert-level breakdancing move, it’s spaghetti eggs

Political horseshoe theory is proven again by a simple counting of the bumper stickers

Gotta post short to get my hands back on the steering wheel

Conan did an interview about an old gag where Homer Simpson out-stunk a whole pet shop and his response feels relevant: “oh GREAT, he’s the dumbest guy on Earth and now he SMELLS, too?”

Dude no I’m not afraid of getting medicated I just fucking love grapefruit is all

Your god wants fast-talking preachers with slick hair to buy private jets. My god doesn’t need to be called god and listens to A Love Supreme with you

1/8/26: gray nose hair

Home sweet home. GRPD is also famous for things like shooting gas canisters *at* George Floyd protesters’ heads point blank, murdering Patrick Lyoya, pointing a loaded firearm at a 9 year old girl, etc

With Mulder flashing plane tickets in like every 3rd episode, I would’ve liked a recurring character at the airport. A cashier who hates sunflower seeds for a couple seasons, then gets a feature episode when they eat an alien fish or something

Smokin on that grink

Got emotionally attached to a Lions Super Bowl

You can tell the difference between a Christmas Vacation family and a Christmas Story family. You can also tell the difference between a PS1 household and an N64 household. Basically I’m racist against other white people

In darker moments I have wished for some sort of mass extinction for idiots, I just didn’t know I was gonna have to sit through all their AI posting while it happened

I want to be loved the way Josh Johnson loves that hoodie

Io Saturnalia!! JOE BIDEN and his COUNCIL OF NICEA can’t tell me the reason for the SEASON!!

if you’re not wrapping presents for me, you’re wrapping them against me

Magnus is Dexter-coded and Hikaru is Mandark-coded

“There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of christmases long, long ago” is what they said. Anyone else repeatedly getting shorted in Christmas narrative complexity

How the Grinch Got Her Groove Back

Day 1 of saying memento mori to my cat every day

I have got to catch them all

Every time my kids slip up I’m gonna shave their heads and call em Caillou til the hair grows back

Your udders to god’s lips, friend

What about a Freudian Shuffle? Or a Freudian Slide

And I would’ve gotten away with it too! If it weren’t for you meddling kids and your poorly-timed Chicago River tour boat

By losing to the Packers last week and beating the Cowboys tonight, the Lions have found a way to be somewhere in the middle between two teams that already tied a game

My parents didn’t do elf on the shelf because there was no social media posting where they could make it about them

How come only racists and dorks get to have a million bumper stickers?

Like this to agree that Ride The Lightning is the best Metallica album. Repost if you can’t be bothered to care

It’s wild what guys will spend on Jerry Garcia guitar rigs just to sound like an epi Les Paul switched to treble

Caught it by accident, casually flipping on a motel TV in Needles, CA. I stayed up for 2 hours to watch to the end. Banger movie

Practicing field surgery (eating a rotisserie chicken one-handed on the highway)

Springsteen voice: Well they shot up ol Lizzo with Wegovy last night

Nothing has ever made me want a cigarette this badly

Minute 5 of being high: wow, that’s a perspective I haven’t considered before Minute 90: squweeve

I don’t have to put up with this shit, I have 7 of the 8 badges I need to challenge the ELITE FOUR

fuck the wafers, communion key bumps

Voted least likely to read the room

the early bird gets the worm and so does the late bird, birds love worms and there are a lot of worms

I fucking HATE Chaucer-core rappers dude, can’t understand a goddamn woerde

Living in Michigan sounds like “hey did you giys see Weapins yet”

SCULLY: So JUST because there’s a magic sleigh on the roof, and now a COUPLE of unexplained presents are under the tree, you think SANTA CLAUS is involved. MULDER: In 1972 a man in Tallahassee saw an elve

Restarting the X-Files this week has been such a good decision

Happy Armistice Day to all the politicians who flipped it to be about supporting forever war instead of remembering that dying in mud holes is bad/preventable

LOGGING ON