Today in AuDHD: that documentary I watched at about ten years old about vibration white finger has finally come in handy then (all pun intended) #F1

I do not like this gen AI I do not like what it implies I do not want it in my art I do not think it makes you smart I do not want it in my games I do not like its goals and aims I do not want it in my books I do not like the way it looks I do not like it, I don't care I do not want it anywhere

Put the kettle on or pour yourself a humpday beer, and watch out for those Ferrari emojis 😄

NO GRANDPA, CHURCHILL DIED YEARS AGO, IS THERE SOMEONE WE CAN CALL FOR YOU

I once met someone who worked for the Mail Online: I gave him a chance and guess what, the scorpion bit the frog

Love the UK but wish the customer service was worse and its white people were bigger and more obnoxious? Welkom in Nederland!

Yesterday Me is an arsehole

I don't know about you but I think I might just try to live my life in such a way that my own people don't throw a party when I'm murdered by their enemies

Look I generally don't care what drugs other people do but could they not have come up with a version of coke that makes people polite yet

Dance for the knees you want, not the knees you have (don't tell Tomorrow Me I said this)

Just seen a couple dancing together like Sims 2 Nightlife and honestly, 10/10 no notes

Big fan of this signage

I'm pretty much opposed to most human contact but there's a guy here I can only describe as Glittery George Russell who isn't appalling

Tonight in AuDHD: My Steak is Too Juicy, or Why Can't I Just Be Normal I'm at a festival and one of my faves is on early but I miss the first 15 minutes, no biggy. But then... they overrun. Normal person: "that's so lucky!" Me: "but what about the schedule?? 😭"

So tonight I'm going to party like Israel Strikes Iran then

Ok, so they got all the Epstein files and emails and whatnot but what if they find the servers for... Chatroulette 😳

Dutch = Simlish and none of you can tell me otherwise

Today a town, tomorrow the 20th century (steady on now)

Crowds gathered in Radcliffe Square today to mark the fourth anniversary of the full scale invasion of Ukraine by Russia. Attendees were greeted by Deputy Lord Mayor Mike Rowley, who said Oxford stood in solidarity with Ukraine. (📷 Roger Close)

If you're struggling to understand AuDHD and why some of us hate having it described as a sUpeRpOwEr 🤢, this morning I finally understood Heisenberg's uncertainty principle but forgot to make breakfast

Let's share across the shire: someone will know who these little shits are

A rally is planned in Radcliffe Square on 22nd February to mark the 4th anniversary of Russia's full scale invasion of Ukraine. Organisers ask residents to attend in numbers: They say the message is to governments, but also to Ukrainians in freezing cities or at the front - we stand with you.

I've got coffee and F1 testing on the telly and for at least this morning all is right with the world 😊😎

The annual OxClean Spring Clean takes place from 6 March to 15 March, and OxClean are particularly looking for volunteers this year to litter pick the Ring Road and Kassam Stadium. OxClean provides litter pickers, high viz ests and plastic bags and arranges collection of bags. www.oxclean.org.uk

Might have accidentally eaten a Russian oligarch's food earlier and honestly I'm only sad I didn't get the chance to shit in the box afterwards 🇺🇦

Thames Valley Royals concept just got exponentially worse

Always a joy to hear Shaista Aziz on the radio (go Jackdaws!), just a shame that's it's usually because some white bloke's been a racist arse

Today I've been trialling a free pair of disposable contact lenses so in a modern twist on an old classic when we went two goals down I took them out and threw them away #OUFC

Now compare it to how bad the ring road is as a result 👍

Can't dress like this any more because of woke 😠

@noscoredraws.com dis u?

"How are you still single?" they chuckle; well every time someone says Steve Bannon I say MMM BANNON to the tune of the Danone jingle, so there's that

I'm not on X so if anyone would like to tell Nathan/Jerome/Nick that our third kit is aqua rather than teal I'd be much obliged, thank you 👍 #oufc #nichetweets

I wouldn't usually watch the last 20 minutes of a film and then start it all over again but sometimes it's apt

Is this what the young people call a deep cut?

Downfall Bovino Edition. You're welcome.

Guys, this is a radical notion but I'm not sure the human mind was built to withstand repeatedly watching real people being executed in real time on a little screen you can carry around everywhere

Jury's out on the memory holes but I'm going to go out on a limb and say the crying is probably the fascism

Just an OUFC fan born in Bromley loving life

Mark Harris has scored! I don't watch Stranger Things so this is what I imagine The Upside-down is

Aaaaaaahahahahaha

Oh no, work have FA (put me on zero hour contract, slashed how many hours they'll give me) and now they are FO (no I won't go in today thanks) 🖕

If I live to be 100 I could get this tattooed on my bum

Some women could get this haircut and look more like Mia Farrow than Eminem and well I love that for them but could never be me apparently

Every time I struggle to remember something I wonder if it's ADHD or perimenopause, or now, if it's the fascism

For tedious reasons I could do with finding about 10 hours' work a week: feel free to send your most unhinged suggestions (can be minimum wage, preferably not excrement-based)

May the gods grant me 1% of the confidence of Wilfried Nancy when asked about his employment status

This time last year I was in A&E so I guess 2026 is already better

Appeal for witnesses in the thread:

Starting 2026 as I mean to go on I'm applying good/fast/cheap triangle theory to my hair today: 1) bleach and correction will be good and cheap but not fast, 2) booking a hair appointment will be good but not fast or cheap, 3) the box with Holly Willoughby on it will be cheap and fast but 😬