i don't think anyone on this app is trying to fuck me, unlike twitter, so i want to say i cannot stop farting.

there are some people i straight up forgot about on here. oh no what if you guys all forgot me too

the boy has been doing really well since his diagnosis (stage 3 kidney disease). he is on prescription food and these pouches of hydration gravy and he has gained a little weight and perked up a little. and no new symptoms !

okay i am going to try to make all my twitter posts here too to see if it helps me transition over here.

oh god oh fuck, my mutagen !

'if i had legs i'd kick you' is the world's most stressful experience for people with low tolerance for babies crying or little kids screaming.

hi both of my ears hurt

also since no one is paying attention to me here, last weekend i took a bunch of psylium husk to try to poop before my boyfriend visited and it didn't work and then i had to hold in my farts until he was in REM sleep. and i feel like a navy seal couldn't have done what i did

no one is paying attention to me here so i just want this to be a safe space for me to say zooey d*schanel looks really weird now.

I will NEVER vote for a politician who votes for anti-trans legislation. Never. I don't care who it is, it's a dead issue. Move on. If my vote is so important to the future of democracy they should have thought of that before they voted to exterminate my child.

posting on bluesky to inform you all of my first mammogram tomorrow which i have put off for three years. everyone cross their fingers for me okay.

someone come paint my nails

after not hearing from him in over a month, i just discovered that @zdarfan.bsky.social passed away last month. truly a wonderful soul who was funny, sweet, and kind. truly the king of reply guys.

just got raptured but tmobile still has service up here

the three stooges wiki is as compelling as 'wolf hall'

writing "shooting = gun violence" on my hand

roxy demento, smiling politely

can someone come over and gently hold my face in their hands and force me to look in my knitting stuff for the needles i need?

hi i miss you guys. i'm in trouble on twitter for saying i wish that coffee was free and baristas made as much as doctors. none of the people who are mad are doctors. anyway someone buy me coffee

everyone is asleep

sometimes my bidet hits its target so true it feels personal

i am banned from instagram messages for three days for being too sexy so if that's where we talk... talk to me here.

i miss you guys

i had such a lovely date last weekend

gentle nip reveal on main for @kingroxy.bsky.social ‘s birthday🎂🎉 Everyone tell Roxy Happy Birthday and thank you 🧁!

do i have any simps on here?

(texting every man in my phone) hi daddy, how much can i spend on the sonny angel website (it was accidentally a group text) (my uncle is in there)

new crush new crush new crush doesn't follow me here so i can talk about him.

update: i am still that girl

me: trying to concentrate my brain: 🎶 it's the thuggish ruggish ᵇᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒⁿⁿⁿᵉᵉᵉ🎵

i'm planning on looking beautiful tonight if that's okay with you fucking freaks

hey it's almost my birthday. in like... a month. what are you getting me

i am so fucking sad

i don't know who needs to hear this BUT i'm fucking stupid

'the fat pope' on hbo

i am so sad

i am stoned and in love and sad and... hungry

i am very sad and very beautiful. maybe love is bad.

i am gonna take a hot shower and then get high if you don't mind

who else has an ice pack strapped to their face rn

breakups are hard, but at least sometimes... i am asleep

i'm depressed

i made an appointment to get my ears pierced thursday. let's see if i actually do it.

you should all be looking at my boobs more to imbue them with power

oh i am so sad

i knew you in another life, you had the same look in your eye

i feel like a dog who is about to be put down so you let him eat a cheeseburger and take him to the beach. no one is taking me to the beach though