This is more like it. Madrid street crossings moving away from reference man imagery. Once the evolutionary timeline depicting primate to human includes woman, we’ll know we’re in business.

Wasn’t expecting a full moon at Heathrow…

No one tells you how fragmented life becomes in empty nest. Off to Madrid to see my girl for the first time since the summer - leaving son in Devon, dog with friends and cat with another friend at home in London. I’d like to magic us all together just for a day. Guess that’s what Christmas is for.

VIP tour guest this week - Dad! Luckiest daughter in the world. And yes - he’s still 45 and I’m in my twenties 💚🩷🙏🏻

Something I thought was a mosquito landed on my pillow last night. I grabbed the first thing that came to hand - a book of Buddhist readings - and whacked it.

Bottling this for if I have a bad day.

From the mouth of a tough old bird…

Last tickets for Swindon tonight, Andover tomorrow. (And thank you Southampton - last night was TERRIFIC.) callybeaton.com/live/ 💚🩷🙏🏻

Meno brain fog - it’s now or never.

Home! Happy (but letting me know I had no business leaving in the first place).

Jeff has the BEST time when I’m away. (But am still hotfooting it back from Stratford Literary Fest as can’t bear being without him another second.)

Sneaky backstage peek from last night’s show at the remarkable Pocklington Arts. Well worth the trip. Tour tickets: callybeaton.com/live/ @foxlanebooks.bsky.social

✨Our 5th and final event this week, and we’ll be over at Pocklington Arts Centre for an nightwith @callybeaton.bsky.social We can’t wait meet Cally, who’ll be signing copies of her book, Namaste Motherf*ckers: A modern manifesto for keeping cool when you’re a hot mess See you soon if you have 🎟️

Found a cafe* this morning after show in Barnard Castle with furniture and wall art all in colours of my book. Namaste! 💚🩷🙏🏻 (*Marshall’s - highly recommend!)

This lovely thing appeared as we approached last leg of journey to Barnard Castle*. I realised I’ll probably be lucky to see another 50 rainbows during the course of my life. Not being mawkish, just breathing it all in (from stationary motorway roadworks where Buddhist contemplation occurred).

I want to be him. We all do.

After a blissful few days off in my gorgeous home city, we’re back on the road again this week! BARNARD CASTLE 29 Oct YORK 30 Oct *SOLD OUT* SOUTHAMPTON 2 Nov *SOLD OUT* SWINDON 3 Nov ANDOVER 4 Nov *LAST TICKETS* SHREWSBURY 6 Nov LUTON 13 Nov LONDON 30 Nov All tickets: callybeaton.com/live/ 💚🩷🙏🏻

At Dad’s day hospice, there’s a beautiful tree sculpture made from the flip caps of medicine containers & a little shop where he bought me this hand-knitted bag; reminds me of something I’d have loved as a little girl back in the ‘70s. Funny how full of love & hope & peace such a place can be.

When one of your bestie’s kids comes dressed as your dog ❤️

Little post-Pilates misunderstanding…

Just had a little cry and Jeff put his paw on my face and held it there ‘til I stopped. (Now he thinks he’s bloody Oprah and is after a treat.)

When the best medicine is having a poo in nature.

At awards celebrating remarkable women, there was an award for resilience & inspiration - a woman who returned to work despite a terminal diagnosis. She had died before she could collect her award. Her mum accepted it, the entire room on their feet. Let’s live & love every minute we get the chance.

Behind every strong woman…

Top 3 in men-trolling-women charts: 1. It never happened 2. Blame their mothers 3. I don’t fancy you/don’t want to have sex with you* (*Like you telling us you’re not going to burgle us and expecting us to be disappointed)

Off to a hospital appointment with Dad. Emotional support animal needs to up his game.

It’s autumn. It’s time to roll out a new coat.

Cracking night with sold out up-for-it crowd in Salford last night. Thank you @thelowry.com You were fabulous! callybeaton.com/live/

Jeff’s face when I break it to him I’m off on tour again for a couple of nights. SALFORD tonight sold out, last tickets for CHELMSFORD tomorrow: www.chelmsfordtheatre.co.uk/book/?id=265...

RIP MTV.

Made mistake of wearing jumpsuit to a scan appointment. Sonographer asked me to remove bottoms only and returned to find me in just bra and socks. In hindsight wish I’d taken the socks off. And explained the jumpsuit.

This was fun! And a little bit revealing…

Left to right: Edith Bowman, Will Arnett, Laura Dern, Andra Day & Bradley Cooper. Richard E Grant to my right, my bestie Charlotte to my left. Lovely night. Wonderful film. A lot of parallels.* (*Mine has yet to be made into a Hollywood movie.)

Cannes and the 5-star life for 36 hours is all well and good, but it’s no Jeff.

Writing a feminist manifesto? Don’t forget to get a man to help.

Unlike the Dutch version, my understanding of what the hell is happening here is limited. All I know is that the Spanish version of my book is out next month and available for pre-order NOW! And that I will be in Madrid for launch day. Olé! callybeaton.com/shop/

This is the world I gave up to join the circus, and today for one day only I was back in it. Thanks for having me back, beautiful Cannes. Feels like sleeping with an ex from a long time ago; I don’t think we should get back together but it’s been wonderful.

Bonjour, Cannes.

Never too sleepy for a wiggle waggle.

I loved Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights. Just one thing… the bit where he journeyed solo to find himself & write the book; 2 weeks here, 2 weeks there, 2 weeks everywhere. He had 3 school-age kids at the time. Wonder how many mums could have done that. Took me 6 yrs to get to the toilet on my own.

I’d never lived on my own until my fifties. And this is what I come home to, every time I walk through the door…

Underestimate the person with the microphone at your peril (+ a cameo appearance from my baby lion) 🦁

Just another woman, getting mistaken for the things I am not.

Like father, like daughter. I hope.

Reunited with my pup! Camouflage be damned, I see him. And I love him.

Thank you Kendal, Nottingham and Southport. (I fell more than a little bit in love with Southport ❤️)

Happy International Zookeeper Day to my favourite zookeeper. The world’s a better place for having you in it, my son. PS If paracetamol gives you a kid like mine, I’d say take some. Only…IT DOESN’T.

Glorious Nottingham Arts Theatre last night. My highlights from book signing dedications afterwards: a brain tumour survivor, a woman who danced there as a little girl when it was the Co-operative Art Theatre & came back last night as a 52-year-old & a woman just diagnosed with cervical cancer. 💚🩷🙏🏻

Some pics from Kendal. What a night! NOTTINGHAM tonight & upcoming dates below. Tix: callybeaton.com/live/ SOUTHPORT 4 Oct CHELMSFORD 19 Oct BARNARD CASTLE 29 Oct S’HAMPTON 2 Nov SWINDON 3 Nov ANDOVER 4 Nov SHREWSBURY 6 Nov LUTON 13 Nov FOLKESTONE 28 Nov LONDON 30 Nov DORKING 4 Dec LEICESTER 9 Dec

Battling the weather and my bladder in Kendal…