Blessed Sunday, parishioners! NBC seems to no longer be afraid of frivolous lawsuits or shakedown threats. What a glorious day our lort hath made! youtu.be/SesRWE02PIU?...

Pretty sure cosentinos food stores didn’t put this here, but what a sentiment.

I wonder how many private jets are en route to New Zealand(ish) right about now…

Sirhan Sirhan got the wrong RFK.

Fun fact- Peter Falk was 17 when this episode premiered.

Got double-secret-probationed on Reddit… so here’s my thoughts- FIFTEEN YEARS AFTER THE ~CIVIL WAR~ there’s a shitload of amputees in every major city.

Winter is coming, and if you don’t know Frankie Macdonald, you’re missing out. Dude loves weather, and genuinely cares for people’s safety. Every once in a while, he does a goof that just makes me smile. I’m serious. He’s a good guy, and this cracks my Midwest ass up. youtu.be/L7mi2lJotMY?...

Is there a linguist starter pack? Because snoqualomie and Susquehanna are similar as shit to each other. I’ve got a hankering that the dialects split because whites.

I just saw the teaser trailer for that new Michael Jackson biopic and it pisses me off so much that it's his NEPHEW playing him when there are THOUSANDS of real talented Hollywood peadophiles available.

Did Dershowitz do himself on live tv yet? Or is he….

For every “hitler killed hitler” or “Stalin killed more commies” there’s always Lincoln named Johnson his veep, and here the fuck we are.

Seems this dude is one of those responsible for destroying the White House. konstantinsokolov.com

Insults have always kind of confused me. As a person who suffers chronic sinus issues, I often breathe through my mouth, but calling me a mouth breather just doesn’t make sense. Same with cocksucker. How is that an insult? I’ve appreciated everyone Who’s ever done that for me.

These fucks in the administration are just running roughshod but in reality- if they ever made their own food- would literally measure “6-8 quarts” of water to boil their pasta. Boring, pedantic losers.

WKKK presents the newest reality weight loss show- The Master Race©️®️™️ Thursdays at 9

@pee-department.bsky.social You should curate a “Rest In Pee” hall of shame. Here’s my BlueSkyStarterPack©️®️™️

I want to pour her a nice glass of Franzia, put on a Friends marathon, and say it’s ok, kiddo. You got duped. We’ll help you through this rough time. And then, when she beckons me to stroke her hair sympathetically, I’ll swiftly move away and say I’m sorry. Can’t go that far.

This is good. Watch it!

Out of the blue, “mental acuity” came to mind. I think that’s the next phrase they weaponize.

Curious how “wall” and “estate” merge into one.

Hey- LegalSky- would states have standing to sue over the shutdown? Their unemployment offices, their local social safety nets are being strained. Seems like a possibility?

I’m thankful for Canada, Canadians, and my Canadian friends in particular. #HappyThanksgiving

Mine, some family, and the White House switchboard. (202)456-1111

Mothafucka, I’ll talk shit on anybody wearing a red hat any fucking day. That’s MY first amendment.

This guy is all of us

I don’t check email. Hopefully they will text me. If you check your email regularly, consider volunteering to get signatures? www.mobilize.us/pnpmo/event/...

Apropos of nothing, I typed “failson” and it autocorrected Fallon

Just…. What the fuck was THAT

Have you noticed that we have a felon married to an immigrant telling us that the problem is felons and immigrants?

If only we’d known in 2015 that we could just turn off the escalator.

Hoping this doesn’t sound flippant- but I think the saddest thing about seeing everyone’s true colors following the Kirking®️™️©️- is that no matter the heights he reaches, Rafael Cruz’s greatest failure that haunts him to this day is his status as a failed actor.

Anyone get an evangelical headcount today?

Any update on this?

He’s not a martyr or a tragic victim of gun violence. He’s nothing more than a statistic. Charlie Kirk is nothing but a number.

Random thought after thinking about superheroes- IF someone gained The scent ability of a dog, sight of eagle, scent of catfish, and magnetism of migratory birds, would our brains be able, physically, to make those synaptic connections and cohere the information?

If we happen to live in a Multiverse, where every decision branches, then in one of them, we have all made the right choices and we are the best version of ourselves. Do those best versions of ourselves ever imagine/pity/mourn for all of the bad choices that we have made?

My life is complete. @devincow.bsky.social liked my comment.

White supremacy turns out to be orange, fat, rapey, and shits itself.

@sonsofliberty.bsky.social Was thinking of the brilliant confederate heritage m🤮nth series, and how the *very second* vice principal JV dance put on the guyliner, he became Jefferson Davis’ heir.

Proof that the concept of nominative determinism is bullshit: There has never been a Chief nor Associate Justice Deborah Judge; or judge Deborah Justice for that matter.

Another gender-neutral bathroom has just opened!!

What an embarrassing job to have.

Brain: it’s 330am! Let’s think about how silly The Lort Our Gawd is for making everyone who claims to be of The Master Race©️™️ so ugly and lazy and stupid.

Trump rapes children.