All hikes include a pic of my booty

New years resolution: this year I will walk around in public without a shirt on. And I will wear a crop top too

A guy said I was hot on an app. And then he asked for a face pic and so I sent him one and then he like recognized me and said we went on a date 5 years ago! And I am super embarrassed but I don't remember him 😭😭

I've been wearing gym shorts commando for days now. I go out in public like this. I used to think this was indecent, and it kinda is, but like I don't even care anymore lol

Having a fish tank is cool bc you’re kind of playing god to this little ecosystem in your house but then there’s a disease outbreak or you mess something up and a bunch of them die and you’re just like oops by bad

It's not commando if I'm wearing a cock ring 🤷‍♂️

Making myself look like a desperate fool in your dms 💯

The only Christmas celebration I will do is see a gay men's chorus and probably cry they're so cute

Watching Cast Away with Tom Hanks and golly this movie has a lot of injuries and blood 😫😫😫

Just spent a solid hour playing with an old friend's cock. 💯

Back alley blowjob

The magic of Christmas!

Another nightmare causing me to lose sleep.

Let's put our feet in the creek and watch the sun through the leaves in the trees.

Yo my bias is so being confirmed

Bro I am getting an entire boner right now

When the album title is a lyric from one of the songs on the album. Love that shit.

Girls can go on a mission at the age of 18 now. #mormon

Life Size (2000) with Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan is physically painful to watch it is so cringe. Like. It got more of a bodily reaction out of me than most horror movies.

Y'all ever schedule a blowjob? Like when someone says wanna come over so I can blow you and you say I can't now but maybe tomorrow?

"Fuckkkk you're so tight" that is my Achilles tendon my dude.

The neighbors in the next building are this older gay couple. Sometimes I make eye contact and go up the stairs really slowly.

My butt

When the security guard drives up to you while you're sucking a cock in the parking lot. Like, go away I'm not hurting anyone.

In Western Europe, you take your kids to Castles and giant ornate churches and they can marvel at the lights and grandeur. In America, you take them to the lighting section at Home Depot

I guess since there's no more snap we can just eat the neighbors dogs and cats

Just put rose flavored Vaseline on my gooch

I wonder how long your pet dog will wait before it starts eating you when you die.

Feeling so sapiosexual lately. Talk academic to me while I play with your cock

So like, I've never really ran in my life, but I've been slowly working on it for like a month. Just today I ran a mile in 10 minutes and I'm feeling great and proud of myself

There's a lot of lies on the internet it's so frustrating

I love the desert

Today was a wonderful day. Went to hot yoga, ate salmon for lunch, learned a lot at school, the taco shop messed up my order so I ended up with two burritos instead of one, and found my missing water bottle! Ended the day by getting a bj from some dude in a parking lot. Classic. Love you all

About to start yoga class I'm gonna die

Pro tip: If a man asks about your tattoos it's because he saw your torso on grindr and he's trying to sus out who you are.

Taking prep is so optimistic. Like I'll ever get laid.

I wonder how much of my personality is inspired by nameless characters in corporate commercials. Like, I just unconsciously emulate the dad repeating "bibberty" to his baby in the liberty mutual insurance commercials. I like that guy, I wanna be him

Super hot guy at the gym and I exchanged a few words in real life today lol I'm all excited

A lot of Americans would love to talk about kitchen table issues, unfortunately the kitchen table is being used to barricade the front door because ICE is trying to illegally enter private property to arrest and detain them.

"Whats up" is shorthand for "What the fetch is up?"

The security guard has a real nice butt. I tried not to look, but dude, I'm only human.

Cruising! At the DMV

Yes, Rosalía's new single is my entire life, obviously. She's really an incredible artist

It's done. Fuck you spotify

Caspar, Melchoir, and Balthazar can get it. 🫦

Telling randos on grindr I just jacked off, so I'm not horny right now, but keeping them in mind for next time

Made eye contact with a hot guy at the gym, checked my grindr, and got a message that said "we just made eye contact lol"

How the fetch do body builders get enough protein. I've never counted my protein intake in my life, up until this week. And like. I just can't eat that much. I'm trying. I'm drinking protein shakes and eating Greek yogurt, and yet, it's not enough 😭😭😭

One roll is cucumber carrot avocado and imitation crab. The other one is asparagus, steamed chard and tofu. Pretty proud of it! It's so cute. But yeah I made way too much lol