gonna sell my goosemas tickets if they wanna keep acting up

it’s 6 in the morning and I’m trying to figure out how my car smells like peanut butter 🙄

made a turkey sandwich to bring for lunch…opened my lunch and my sandwich is not there, which means it’s at home on the kitchen counter. hope the cats are having a nice feast 😂

a lady in town lost her cat near my apartment and my dumbass is out here looking for him like some sort of cat whisperer

BK has mango peach lemonade??????? 👀👀👀

I’ve had linkin park stuck in my head all day how did goose know about this????

I love living in a small town…one of the neighbors is pulling kids around in a wagon attached to his lawn mower 😂

turns out if you add a custom emoji in teams, the entire organization can see it and you can’t delete it. so ummmmmmm yeah the entire hospital now has access to a picture of Shadow being cute. oopsie

what’s everyone wearing for the rapture??

gonna go ahead and just throw my science degree in the fire since anyone can hold press conferences and make absurd claims!!!!

this is the best merch they’ve ever put out

DO YOU REMEMBER

so did anyone else see a bat shaped flying thing in the pit last night or do I need to see my optometrist 🤔🤔

no ketchup, the way the good lord intended

doin yard work in my jammies listening to last night’s show hbu

RC cola does something to me 😋

this is prince bye

play in the air by phil collins u fucking cowards

I CANT WAIT TO CLEAN MY HOUSE TO THIS

I CANT WAIT TO CLEAN MY HOUSE TO THIS

oh yeah, tonight’s my 30th show hehe

got an extra GA pit ticket for Goose tonight if anyone is looking. Buddy's dog is sick and can't make it

i am once again plotting to rescue feral kittens

had my service award dinner tonight and the president of the hospital corrected them on the pronunciation of my last name 😳😳

Shadow does not like her Halloween costume.

look at these two best friends 🥰

XRT played silver springs by fleetwood mac and I had to apologize to my coworkers for being disruptive about it…oopsie

besties from the first day of my life til the last day of yours 💜 missing you so much Granny!!

worked a sixth day in a row and it was a good shift???? :o

breakfast for dinner is unmatched

my work bestie made these for me 😭😭😭😭 she used pictures of my girls not just lookalikes 🥹

ok we won $20 so if anyone sees me with a gumball you know why 💅🏼

my department played the lottery last night and I woke up to zero texts today saying we are billionaires so I guess i’m going to work today 🙄

my work bestie’s last day is on Friday and I’m so MAD about it 😭

had all the windows open in my car and a bee flew in so that is the last time I will be doing that

my brother moved out of my apartment…Shadow has never been without him so i’m not sure how she is going to adjust 😭

when ur cat and ur brother have birthdays two days apart…they get a shared birthday cake 🥰

happy FIRST birthday Shadow! 🖤

the bakery lady probably thinks i’m insane for getting my cat a birthday cake (she is correct)

this is still the greatest piece of music of all time ever ever in the history of forever

went out to risk my life to scare off a skunk so my feral cats could eat their dinner 😎

Judge Frank Caprio has passed away at the age of 88.

I would like to try the radioactive walmart shrimp

crying before work I guess

have u guys tried the new baja blast

GOIN DOWN TO THE ROCKDALE GONNA LAY IT ALL DOWN FOR YOU

sometimes at work I have to listen to mario kart rainbow road in order to focus on my tasks and get them done…it’s like a special level of my ADHD

🖤

there should be a way to feed my cats their own preferred foods without one cat (Luna) stealing from the other cat (Shadow) without anyone having to wear a collar!!!!!!!!!

I’ll be 90 years old in a nursing home still listening to fall out boy albums