This is way more important than the Jimmy Kimmel monologue, please watch this

Come get your pumpkins at the Logan Square farmers market this Sunday from Batridge Family Farms.

IT'S HAPPENING

The rapture, but for cars in cities.

Gun to your head you HAVE to pick between these options for breakfast, are you picking a banana with black coffee or buttered sourdough toast with black coffee?

Don't worry folks, our lives after the rapture will look pretty much the same

Emailing my alderman to complain like "as an avid dogist..."

Incredible to watch the birth of medical disinformation that will probably last at least a generation.

Reset the 'Days since I've seen the Paris air pollution graph' counter to 0 again.

Is 1.8L of coffee too much?

A driver hit and disabled our garage door again 👍 this happens like 2-3 times a year where someone gets overeager, bends the garage door with the top of their SUV and no one can enter or exit via car until we get someone to come out and fix it lol

As an electronic music enjoyer I know there's value in genre definitions so that you can describe an unfamiliar artist to people but "riddim" describing some gnarly dubstep with extra drums is just as stupid as when someone tries to tell me that a boring boots&cats& beat is future tech bass house

Going to the Churlie Quark Foodstore and ordering some Jimmy Kibble, checkmate checkers players.

Only the finest Austin Butler lookalikes will be raptured this Tuesday

You can swim in the river AND forage for mushrooms in our great city 🙏

Hearing cries of "moisturize me!" as I bake Lady Cassandra O'Brien.∆17

Commenting on every single TikTok I see of the river swim with these graphs to counter the prevailing narrative that the Chicago river is pure sewage.

For anyone curious about the safety of swimming in the river www.chicagoriverswim.org/Race/Chicago...

Your daily corn

One of the weirder things about walking and biking for transport a lot is that it makes you seem insane to otherwise normal people who default to driving. Especially in the winter people act like wearing winter gear is some radical act and I'm like do you just stay inside for months on end...?

I'm always surprised to learn it's so cheap. You mean to tell me I can bribe high ranking federal officials for less than the down payment on my condo? 🤔 How much do Brendan Reilly & Brian Hopkins want to shut down Wells to cars? Can we get a single good east/west bike route in river north?

I don't smoke weed or cigs because I've already had one gum surgery and it was awful but damn smoking does LOOK cool

Good morning happy to be here

Got up early so I can read skeets in languages I don't know for a little bit

Is it too much to ask a DJ to close out their set with Sandstorm by Darude? 🙄

It's time to release Cat Abughazaleh (a panther wearing a Kat Abughazaleh mask) into Broadview.

Someone contact Ja'mal Green and get that bus stuck in Broadview asap

Didn't have caffeine early enough to appease my dependence so now I have a mild headache :(

It's Fungus Friday 🎉 please enjoy this image of some king oyster mushroom grain spawn. Fun fact is that even though it looks fuzzy it feels fleshy.

Quick question: does anyone know why it's impossible to get comfortable and go to sleep?

Do you think Scabby the Rat has ever had a marg tower?

Mutual Gatorade

I'm going to butcher your name for the delicious name ribeye, maybe I'll even make some name short ribs in the instantpot

Will you all help me eat these king oysters once they fruit?

Jimmy Krimmymmel

How come it's always broad daylight and never fella daylight?

idk what the fuck any of you are talking about regarding "organizing" and "protests". When I see a helicopter hovering for too long I walk over and check out what's going on.

Whenever I see stuff about building housing near transit I'm like I mean yeah I'm glad we would enable residents to live car free but do you know how insanely loud the L is? I live next to it and I can't really recommend it lol

Your daily corn

I want to take a nap but I made an appointment to get my hair cut 5 weeks ago and now I have to do that instead 😞

This fuckin' sucks, we need to do a 180 on gambling legalization. This shit is just an engine for immiseration.

My sinuses are *almost* clear enough to allow my ears to pop so I can hear properly and evenly from both sides. ALMOST. 🫨

I feel like at some point after a while of using this platform where every single account is open to the public the other shoe is going to drop and they're gonna be like "alright we've made BlueGPT, a woke AI created from all your moronic posting"

They should make pizzaritos and pizzacos

Do you think the rat-note chud killed the rat for the occasion or was it a crime of opportunity when he happened across a pre-killed rat? Genuinely curious about the order of operations for such an act.

Annoyed that season 3 didn't wrap it up, I started reading the Foundation series and it varies enough to be interesting and is pretty quick to breeze through so far. I tried catching up to where the Dune movies left off and got incredibly bored.