Choosing to believe that Friends didn’t decline in quality as it aired and instead believe that the writers intentionally chose to make the characters worse to illustrate how toxic cliques of wealthy white people make each other more regressive and bigoted over time

I don’t even see the shitposts anymore. All I see is this dude pissed on a couch, noted sex pest, steals memes

Please help me achieve my New Year’s resolution of 5k followers. It was my 2025 New Year’s resolution

Canadians seem to be obsessed with gummy candy and tbh I’ve never felt more at home

I don’t even see the shitposts anymore. All I see is this dude pissed on a couch, noted sex pest, steals memes

I’m in a hotel in Vancouver. It’s 2AM. I’m watching the Canadian E! Channel for comfort, which is playing the entire Friends series in order for some reason. The shitty AI Coca-Cola Christmas commercial plays 2-3 times per commercial break and I’ve decided I’ll never drink that god damned soda again

Me going everywhere in fancy pajama pants

I think the most surprising thing about the lip-filler epidemic is just how many people apparently feel they have sub-standard lip density

Vanessa Kirby’s most impressive feat as an actor is her ability to inhale any of the other actors on screen and gain their abilities

Whenever I’m with an impatient group the first thing I do once I’m alone is wait a ridiculous amount of time for something simple just to remind myself that it’s ok to stand still and be patient

Livin’ La Vida Loca is such a funny song in retrospect because I read these lyrics and think “yeah this is a gay guy trying to convince me he feels anything even remotely romantic about women”

LL Bean is short for Ladies Love Bean

Drinking my coffee double double Timmy Horty style

I think US Americans’ knee-jerk distaste for poutine is almost 100% to do with the word “curd” sounding kinda gross despite cheese curds being delicious little chewy cheese chunks

When I went to see Avatar people clapped and cheered for this stupid fucking teaser

My sister thought Warren Zevon was saying “werewolves are comin” and frankly it does raise some good questions about the song

My phone wiped out all my progress in Bloons TD 6 somehow and I was bugged by it but it actually kinda rules

Dogspee You! Black Labrador

I’m sure I just don’t get it but man I hate how people shout at sports on the television

The Kurt Vile cover of “Must Be Santa” has got to be one of the most irritating things I’ve had the misfortune of overhearing. Stop making Christmas music please I’m begging you

“Have you guys figured out the sex yet?” Uh yeah we figured out the sex that’s how we got the baby??

Holding a grudge is so cool especially when the target of it doesn’t necessarily notice or care so it’s just this thing that slowly drives you insane that nobody else will ever care about

“How do you even go to events where people are drinking?” My man let me introduce you to something called hanging out and socializing then driving your car home when you’re tired

Yeah man cool drum but I still think it’s kinda fucked up you didn’t bring any gifts

Do you see him

He got kicked out of Blink-182 for being a drunk and became a cop. No I think he’s doing bad dude

Wow it’s so nice to reconnect with you on he— oh shit you’re a Zionist for some reason? Never mind. Gotta go

I don’t think the Charlie Kirk AI song is funny even ironically. Tired of hearing that shit everywhere. Knock it off

Every time the regressive thing passes by a slim margin, making it seem like it was contentious. When elections have weird margins in authoritarian countries they are appropriately called rigged, but when it happens in the house it’s “damn, next time!”

Sure is liminal out

Is Pluribus really all that good? I’m starting to get pretty frustrated with the way this story is being told

Hey uh serious question if you saw a mutual/friend clearly spiraling deeper into a paranoid delusion on their public stories, what would you say to try to pull them out of it

It’s funny how often you hear corporate people justify cruelty as “just business.” Like, you know that when The Godfather said that you weren’t supposed to agree with him right? He was talking about killing people

Wrote a review for North (1994)

Look, I’m not saying it isn’t, but if this fascist takeover weren’t actually as successful as it’d like to be… do you think the media would be reporting on it

Cousin lean with it cousin walk with it

Have weed on me

I know I’m getting old because I see a video title like this and I’m like “who thought it was good?” I worked at the Apple Store when it released and I remember my co-workers being underwhelmed and the Apple gossip sites saying it was a disappointment. Who exactly is saying it was good?

Any thing that explains to you why you are the way you are can be just as dangerous as it is useful

The type of economy where you allow yourself to be scammed a little bit if it’s for someone more in need than you

the creative process teaches us that art cannot simply be willed into existence. art is what arises out of the tension between what we wish for and what is possible. of course executives don’t understand this!

Me when I do anything

Oh well now we have to do it because of this thing you just made up

Me when I do anything

No offense y’all but if they pass KOSA I will be leaving social media entirely. TBH I probably should have left years ago anyway

I’m sorry. Someone MURDERED Rob Reiner and his wife!?

Lawyer here (though not landlord-tenant), can confirm.