When our peace lily feels a bit parched, it goes full drama queen and droops flat, like it's never been so dry and has no hope of feeling the touch of water ever again. Give it a little, and it perks right back up again. So tonight, my wife and I named it Zachary. "The pain! The pain!"

No cheating: your last saved pic of a celebrity is your therapist. (These are gonna be some loud sessions.)

Hey, indie authors! I'm late to the game, but if you haven't heard, Amazon changed its rules, and you can distribute to Overdrive's @libbyapp.com, @hoopladigital.bsky.social, and other library platforms—even if you're in Kindle Unlimited. Here's how to do it on @draft2digital.bsky.social. /1

Tomorrow is the last day of this holiday toy drive for Chicago families impacted by ICE. 41 of the 60 kids who were registered have had a present purchased. Organizers are hoping every child and family can receive a gift. Let's help them reach their goal! Venmo: KHPWtoydrive

The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go. So...just like 2025.

A favorite of mine, and she absolutely demolishes it.

Ho-ho-ho, tee-hee-hee Eric the half a brie

“As the face gets worse, the clothes have to get better.” — Steve Martin

I've got the perfect Midas joke—it's comedy gold.

It’s nearly 11 at night. Single-digit temperatures. And a guy in shorts and a hoodie just jogged past our windows, headed south on Glenwood. You magnificent bastard. Never change, Chicago.

Dreamed I got a chastising message at work that said, “You should know the names of all the Muppets,” and someone stuck up for me, saying, “I don’t think this one has a name,” and they attached a picture of like a white Gonzo with no eyes

No surprises here.

He bought his fuckin' button, Charlie Brown!

A joyous day to all who celebrate. (And anyone who's read my books knows why I do.)

Introduce yourself with the last 5 concerts you saw: Patti Smith William Basinski Wussy Dave Brubeck Kronos Quartet

What perfect album came out the year you turned 16?

Quote of the Evening "I got chicken water on my socks!" — My Wife

Blade, leader of the murderous puppets, has just endorsed Andrew Cuomo.

The Cylons are not as formidable as I was told they'd be.

If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars", "Star Trek", "Doctor Who", or "Transformers".

Happy stolen from @stephenberg2.bsky.social.

"Hello, Mr. Fruit Fly. It's me, Mr. Butterfly. Just a harmless butterfly. Not a sticky trap or anything. Nothing to be worried about. I'm just here to make your last hours on earth as peaceful as possible. Don't mind this. This is doctor's orders."

If I had to choose the greatest name in entertainment, I'd go with Fee Waybill. But he only beats out ZaSu Pitts and Max Schreck by a little bit, and I'm open to other nominees.

“It makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell.” — William “Bunk” Moreland

It’s Giant Skeleton Season, motherfuckers!

I'm grateful for AI. It helps me in my work every day. I do things with it that I could never do without it. But the perfect illustration of what it's like to work with any AI tool on a daily basis? Rocket and Yondu trying to get Baby Groot to help them break out of jail.

Today's sad realization: Nearly everything can be explained by the parents at the end of TIME BANDITS.

Of course, I'd love to make more money from my fiction. But comments like this will keep me at the keyboard, even if I never bring in another dime. You knock yourself out. You put it out there and hope somebody somewhere hears you. And then someone does. I'm rich.

I am. That's how all the problems started.

My wife just told me something I screwed up is now "roont," and she's never even read those books; she got that term from me. The arm of @stephenking.bsky.social is long indeed.

I was happy enough with the performance of my first promo video to come up with a second. I used the same Suno music and Pixabay sound effects from the first, created the additional videos in Midjourney, and assembled it all in Canva.

Make this a show. I will watch it every week. Even if I'm the only one.

Going to the library fucking rules. You can walk in and pick your favorite things and then walk right out without paying anything. It's unbelievable and 100% the kind of thing that won't exist in the future unless you recognize the goodness now before it's too late

"Can I come in? Don't ya HATE Perry's wife?"

There are entire academic disciplines devoted to how and why societies go awry and collapse. But all you really need to do is take a look at what your neighbors are throwing into the recycle bin.

Happy 44th to MTV. And now we meet in an abandoned studio. We hear the playback, and it seems so long ago...

Just learned something important.

Did my first video ad for the first book in my series. I'm no Spike Jonze, but I'm pretty happy with how it came out.

I recently went to the dentist and got annoyed all over again by how ridiculous it is that bones heal, but teeth don't. Yet today at the barber, I celebrated the fact that hair doesn't have nerves. It all balances out, you see.

@djjohnrichards.bsky.social Thanks so much for the space-themed set. My followers may be sick of seeing this, but a guy who gets emotional about space may dig it. My dad worked as a NASA contractor, and years ago, I found this shot of him, my brother, and me with Apollo 11 a month before launch.

This is why I try never to leave my lookout post by the window. I might've missed seeing one of the big-game hunters of Andersonville.

Mandel bread. Without question.

The goodbyes we say instead of the ones we want to say.

Paging @radiofreetom.bsky.social: Had our own personal “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” flying ORD > GSO. Only the hirsute gremlin wasn’t out on the wing; he boarded with us. Before we even took off, he snugged himself up against his girlfriend so she could groom his arms, chest, neck, and beard /1

We said goodbye on a muggy Greensboro morning. I hope I did you justice, Mom. I tried.

And after the rain let up, a perfect #Pride rainbow over Andersonville, Chicago.