Barry Allen has never been more interesting than when he's dead.

Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie but Die Hard 2 is.

Every white millennial had an elderly family member give them a Christmas-themed children's book they loved as a kid and it was always something you can barely prove was ever printed and they all had titles like "The Chimney Sweep and His Seven Homely Children."

Anyone else think about how JD Vance is the first candidate on a major party Presidential ticket who can be expected to know who Goku is? Like, it'd be weird if he didn't.

Rihanna IS Smurfette

If God is powerful then God is the most powerful If God is good then God is the most good If God is tsundere then God is the most tsundere

brb designing a device called "the cloaculator"

Pour one out for all the Wikipedia editors who had the edit page pulled up for Pizzaballa, I guess.

Never do two illegal things at once. It's like with Al Capone - they couldn't make murder stick, but they got him on necrophilia.

Prior to SkiFree, I had no concept of death. On the day the Reaper comes for me he will take the form of a pixelated yeti

i bet chat gpt draws the hamburger helper glove with six fingers, just full on christopher-guest-in-the princess bride lunacy

Oh my God, it's The Horseless Head!

YOU CAN POST THE DAICON IV OPENING ON BLUESKY NOW

what if noided but too much

China is in disarray. Emperor Randy Savage has lost the Macho Mandate of Heaven.

babygirl you don't understand babygirl i'm not going back to the old me babygirl i only had a can of Bush's baked beans in the picture for scale babygirl you know you're enough for me babygirl

The nice thing about it being January is that we've got another ten months where I can say "that horny old elf" and instead of everyone jumping to conclusions about Santa they'll correctly infer that I'm talking about Gribblor the Undulating.

if you ever wonder why millennials are weird about sex you need to remember that the theatrical run of Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas and 9/11 happened within a year of each other and that's a long stretch of days for people to get their first boners

Breath of the Wild is the first good Zelda game since Link's Awakening because it emphasizes the actual strengths of the original NES games - freedom of movement and environmental exploration - instead of doubling down on tedious set piece dungeons like Ocarina of Time did.

Steam's forums serve as a kind of interesting thought experiment, answering the question "What if reactionaries were less concerned about skull shape and more concerned about jiggle physics?"

Ask the average "pivot to AI" bro how he feels about unskilled labor and something very interesting happens.

RT if you hate it when Galactus removes your space-time powers

To everyone who's ever started a sentence with "As a parent" - lots of people have suffered through medically significant events in which an object weighing six or more pounds fell out of them, but you're the only ones out here making it your whole personality.

The anti-MAGA blocklists are great and all, but with the sudden influx of new users we're REALLY going to need one for the #resistance grifters sooner rather than later.

The best part about podcasting is that it's made being funny the least essential part of having a successful comedy career.

Galoot in the streets Also a galoot in the sheets (Sorry about your lamp)

And to think that up until a few days ago we all thought Mark Robinson was a pretty chill guy.

The Aaron Carter single "That's How I Beat Shaq" represents the most shameful example of stolen valor in our nation's history.

Seriously, though, why does Tom MacDonald look like that?

What movie should be in the Criterion Collection but isn't? I'll go first: Porky's Revenge

Two-Pump Rusty! The rockabilly legend! The man who popularized The Box Wine Boogie! OUR Father!

I hear you! I hear you, skittering about in the hallway, with your Cronenbergian pitter-patter

By the end of next week we're going to have podcast audio of JD Vance talking about that time he ate the Lindbergh Baby.

Charlie Bucket has some absolutely unbearable social media influencer failgrandson who says things like "You take one bite of this, you'll be snozzlepilled."

Making a horse dehorser. Not too sure what that means, but whatever it is that makes a horse a horse is a thing that it won't have when the dehorser is done. Post your favorite thing that horses do in the comments below! I want to be sure my list is complete.

Why is it that all the good ones are dead or married or gay or retired to a quiet life of living in New England and writing mystery novels until a small town murder pulls them back in?

That right there is Horace Heely. They say that back in ought-eight it only took him forty-three seconds to debone a Frenchman. Set the world record. 'til the Schaefer brothers came along and changed the game in the sixties, of course.

"Legalize It," the Libertarian says. "Okay," you say. Turns out "It" was child marriage. "But that's already legal in North Carolina," you say. Rent in Durham goes up another $200.

Sloppy Joseph's Potato Cavalcade

Naw, he didn't get hurt in the war. Clemmons got a work injury. There's a World Star video of it titled "rodeo kibble."

Strangers are just friends who haven't had a chance to disappoint you yet.

"Fuck you and fuck your portion sizes" I say, unsheathing my bokken and turning this Barbarito's franchise into a topic of discussion in a shift manager's deposition.

Biden's "morals of an alleycat" line could make him the first Democrat to lose the furry vote since Carter.