on the clock wishing i was on the cock #humpday

oh, look! new sweaty gym bro just dropped

too hard to write my silly little emails #mcm

you think adding benefiber to vodka would help my digestive issues??

look, ma! i’m part of the pack!! awrooo!! @seapah.bsky.social

back in the office, save me #mcm

new pup hood🥹 who wants to take pup piddles out to play??🐾 awrooo!!

alright, heated rivalry got me gals

we typically have a view of the space needle from the apartment but the fog is so bad it looks straight up like bombs going off in the city… happy new year, i guess!🤷🏻 love you all😘

oye, its foggy

nye urinal pic🫶🏻

the only good thing to come out of 2025 was @halstongray.bsky.social❤️ he was also the only good thing to come into me😏 here’s to more humps and good things in 2026🥰 #humpday

day buzz just cuz😛

well, this explains a lot

ketchup is yucky anyway🤢 bbq sauce is the only logical option

putting the “i” in dick #fcf

mary’s chrysler to you and yours🎄 w/ @halstongray.bsky.social

enjoying the little bit of sunshine we’re gonna get today🌞 #mcm

if all i said in a teams meeting was “good morning,” “nope,” and “thank you, bye,” it should’ve been an email😒

anyone else get humped on this day that is for humping? #humpday

i’d like to thank my rich uncle for wanting to spoil me this year🤗🥰

i get it all for free💁🏻‍♀️ BUT you should book with him; he’s loving, caring, and knows how to touch the right spots🥰

drink up, piggies🐽 #mcm

what if i just left?? #mcm

you think freddy krueger ever haunted wet dreams?

trying not to edge too close to the sun😮‍💨 #fcf

jocked up. #humpday

the babes, @halstongray.bsky.social, is making tacos right now, as is tradition on tuesdays in this household, and i’m salivating at the smell of them🤤

“you’ll be visited by three spirits.” the three spirits:

thanks to trader joe’s, i made a woodland critter bukkake house🤗🎄

new docs to cure the monday blues thanks @halstongray.bsky.social’s mom!!

a little somethin for my fellow feet lovers🫶🏻 #mcm

obligatory bar bathroom pic💦

two mimosas in, breakfast being made, parade on. happy thanksgiving to you and whores🫶🏻

part 2 because @halstongray.bsky.social caught me slackin on the job #humpday

was told to push stuff off to next week and enjoy a chill day, so… #humpday

“goodbye baby ronaldo” i say as i flush my partner’s load down the toilet

imagine the boner i got watching him take this🤤

what’re we thankful for? heated seats. #mcm

work at 6:30, but from home sooo…🍷

don’t forget to thank and tip your barber💈

as above, so below… or something philosophical #fcf

hehe i get to take care of it when i get home🙂‍↕️🤤

hey, i’m daddy now😤 jk 👉🏻👈🏻 #twt #tummytuesday

good boys know where their head belongs #mcm

wfh means the dick is free from the shackles of clothing😮‍💨 #fcf

you ever just hang out half naked in the stall? #mcm

clearly only focused on my game

my new bestie🐐

look at all those chickens