250 signatures to go and the potholes of Clacton get a long overdue visit

5…4…3…2…1ski

I put my clocks back straight after breakfast and immediately felt hungry again

#totp If I had one moment in time it wouldn’t be this one

#totp Brief curtains is decent name

#totp Marti Webb…cheesier than a Wotsit smothered in Philadelphia and shoved up some stinking bishop

Next up…no licking the lips when enjoying a doughnut

Bruce Foresight

..and I reckon the perfect music to go with this is…

One Eyed Wayne have got a new album coming out in the next month and about bloody time. Here’s a noisy offering from the last one. 🥳

Here’s a nail with a sore head

You won’t get past this without a chuckle

An everyday day story of Farage folk

#SWEENG Bloody hell. That was like playing nearest the bull and winning with a double 3

#climatechange The Party told you to reject the evidence of your skin cancer and soggy feet. It was their final, most essential command Ohwell

Best song I bumped into at #glastonbury this year. Minimal room for disagreement😉

One of the mystery surprise guests at this years #glastonbury is rumoured to be none other than Nigel Farage’s mum

Slowly walking down the hall Faster than a cannonball I mean ffs..

#motd Unai Emery not happy

#totp Stones to the fucking rescue

It’s deffo American. Might be subject to taRIFFS

#newsnight Kevin eh? They’ve taken away my ‘nice little bonus’ it’s Reform for me

Reminds me of the special soap I bought that keeps elephants out of your bathroom

One day George, one day

Marine Le State Pen.

#totp Leprechauns at the Blitz Club. Them were the days

#totp Julio so soft focused I’ve spent two minutes cleaning my glasses

Noone expects the Bavaryan Brotherhood

#totp Any punk gonna come on and smash this all up?

When somebody asks you whether a straw has one hole or two

Don’t bother trying to explain the economic consequences of tariffs to morons who believe treating people fairly makes airplanes crash

Get your coat get your case put a smile on your face and get a new life, in Rio de Janeiro, or somewhere tasty

Can't help but heartily chuckle at Farage falling for the "I'm an African £billionaire who'll send you £millions if you......" scam.

Bavaryan Brotherhood

Assumedly Nige is now The Man From Uncool. He’ll be flying Napoleon Solo soon if Musk gets to cut the strings

How many music producers does it take to make a VAR decision? I dunno what do you think?

This post has opened Pundora’s box🥺

#BBCLauraK Chris Philp on 3 gulps per sentence this morning. Must be hard to get that bulls**t out

If you squeeze the goo out of the artery of a Capstan full strength puffer and stick it in the carcass of a soft boiled cockroach you’ve got yourself a date. Trying hard to like them😑

If I have to tell you one more time to stay away from that bloody tap😡

@mrjamesob.bsky.social Remarkable how many newsreaders have got your ‘rare red wind weather warning’ tongue twister right today considering the problems some of them have with Jeremy Hunt @lbc.co.uk

It’s like jumping into a warm spring having spent 2 years with an incontinent aunt playing Daily Mail headlines on the trumpet #Bluesky

Hold your breath and see how many more join before you exhale. I got to 214

Feel like I’ve walked into a dark empty room with the faint odour of familiar ghosts