girlfriends with their shampoo vs girlfriends with your sweatshirts

Community Leather Coat Drive Helps Bad Boys In Need https://theonion.com/community-leather-coat-drive-helps-bad-boys-in-need/

googling divorce lawyers so I stop getting valentines jewelry ads

Looks like if I want Lwaxana on a shirt I'm gonna have to make it myself This is gonna be jesus fresco bad

i would be overjoyed if the U.S. had a president as ethical and even-tempered as Chancellor Gowron

I still have a year to start my Alan Rickman arc

BREAKING NEWS 🗞️ 🚨

I have a mighty need

the sluts WILL save us.

lmfaooooo I fuckin love Ilhan

It's me. I'm the equipment

i can be trusted with vintage typography equipment

THE REPLICATORS ARE PUNTING PIPING HOT PANCAKES PERILOUSLY ACROSS THE PROMENADE

“The very first rubber dick to touch government-issued leather boots triggered a full-blown chemical weapons response. That is not metaphor. That is not exaggeration. That is a literal sentence that happened in America in 2026.” Treat yourself & read this! www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-...

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Btw, if you are interested in 3D printing whistles, I have a great one for you to try It sounds like a person screaming www.thingiverse.com/thing:2662731

Why Gaza is at the intersection of all justice, how the US uses the police state to brutalize, uproot, and crush protests, & how establishment Dems failed democracy in the 2024 election. from HASAN V. HARRIS: POD SAVE ABSURDITY and the DEMOCRAT DOOM youtu.be/4JPBQtXMS6g

why should some posters get more “likes” and “reskeets” than me simply because they’re funnier and more popular?

It has gotten so bad that the @nytimes.com has stopped using the passive voice to describe the violence.

As someone who touches shipping invoices, I'm angry. I'm jealous. I WANNA MAKE UP RANDOM BULLSHIT TOO* *And get paid twice for it

If the admin's strategic goal was to break public resistance to immigration enforcement activities, it was a tactical mistake to go to the Twin Cities.

Katy Perry’s Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In Canada https://theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-skeptical-of-alleged-powerful-boyfriend-who-lives-in-canada/

OPE THE RA

I got lost in the meme folder again Didn't find the thing I was looking for But I did find you can't search by "Garfield" and I think that's just bullshit.

Gods bless the person who asked me my opinion on Star Trek today and then let me tell them.

Horribly Depressed Zookeeper Has Always Had Special Connection With Animals https://theonion.com/horribly-depressed-zookeeper-has-always-had-special-con-1819574509/

This "discovering organically" thing is really going poorly for me

Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement

Wait, you only get *one* shot? Oh no *checks notes* Oh no, no noooooo

This is the kind of content the internet deserves more of

I will buy a five year subscription to the first period tracker that includes SI in my mood tracking

More than any other show of its time, Star Trek dared - still dares - to imagine something that feels impossible: in the future, leftists and scientists will be able to afford rent in San Francisco

The best thing about my life is at least there's one thing I've started that I'm guaranteed to finish

Oh yeah, this guy definitely likes his steaks suuuuuuper sloppy

The only thing AI will be used for in 5 years is to surveil, track, & murder you for dissent. Anyone who doesn’t see that at this point is highly susceptible to fascist ideology.

“To put it another way, the vast majority of men are only willing to engage in public violence if they feel like the people around them will approve of — and reward them for — that violence.”

Me, reading and studying history: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me, realizing I am living through a historical event: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

Me every January when we get a hint of sun

Thinking of you <3

You'd be amazed at how many shows are improved by slapping on some SpongeBob music in the background

Me: "every dog is my friend!" Me, getting my arm chewed off: "some friends are rougher than others"

Shout-out to everyone who's tired as fuck of only seeing the first four lines of this poem shared around.

tonight, we let the ghoul speak

Heated flip flops is my only sane solution to this problem