to be fair, I bet "I'd take a bullet for you" hits different when it comes from a Kennedy

look i know i'm no real genius but i am actually fairly confident that i am smarter than chuckie schumer

home (ugh) and back on my kitchen bullshit with some scalloped potato realnesssssss

met a sphynx cat in buffalo plaid jammies named aegon the conqueror at the farmer's market

this is the most informative label on Bluesky, mufo-gossipy division

i don't WANT to go back to north dakota

treated myself to a nice new kitchen knife, a 7" damascus steel kiritsuke

this place is amazing: reggae-loving santa clauses driving ubers, cheap weed everywhere, amazing food carts all over, beautiful buildings, vibrant street art, friendly and welcoming people. going home is gonna suck (except for seeing the cats again, i do miss them terribly)

my kingdom for genuine leather goth boots with actual tread for functional use IN MY SIZE

last night after the concert we went to a dive and it was pretty chill, but i was getting a headache (didn't caffeinate properly yesterday, rookie mistake) and went back to my rental santa claus was the uber driver, he was bopping some reggae THEN MY FRIEND TEXTS ME THAT THE KEYBOARDIST IS THERE

seeing my favorite band of all time in about half an hour with a full symphony orchestra and i feel like my heart is about to explode with emotion

Rest now, brother. We have the watch. And I will see you in Valhalla. 🫡

found an adorable, cheap dive bar with DELICIOUS bar food and a dispensary 500 feet away a block from my rental and why do i ever leave the pnw, i should just fucking stay

PORTLAND I AM IN YOUUUUUUU

wearing jeans and a baseball hat for my halloween costume at work and all of my coworkers haven't recognized me while i'm in actual pants instead of my usual tights + tennis skort lmao anyway wow i forgot how much i hate wearing jeans, and the most appropriate pair for the costume is WAY too big

thought they always said they couldn't unmake him a prince, that's pretty wild

god i cannot WAIT to be in portlanddddddd

big ups to the guy at the dmv who helped me get my real id even though i thought i didn't have all the stuff i needed, thanks a million dave

just saw del toro's frankenstein and ugh, what a beautiful film. clearly a labor of massive, massive love

ohoho, that's VERY interesting

this kind of humidity in october should be a war crime

tired: abolish ICE wired: abolish DHS inspire: repeal the patriot act

lmao was reading the clinical notes from our session the other day and i'll take this as a sign my skincare regimen is doing the work: "General Physical Appearance: The patient is a 36-year-old Caucasian married female who appears somewhat younger than her stated age"

"ethereally self aware," the fuck does that even m e a n lmao

sure sex is cool but does your coworker's dog think that you're her bestest friend?

nobel peace prize is not awarded posthumously just a little fun fact to file away for next year for absolutely no particular reason

oh man, i just used my doorframe to crack something d e e p in my right shoulder and i feel like i've been exorcised. 12 stars will do again

the Bluths, vindicated at last

the rule is that if you cry for more than half of your appointment you are legally and ethically required to treat yourself to a piece of cake and some coffee while you journal the aftermath

big ups to my therapist for fitting me in at the last possible minute

holy hell my neck and shoulders are fucking killing me

in other interesting news i learned a fun etymology fact coworker taught me the anishinaabemowin (ojibwe language) terms for french people and for scandinavians and explained: their word for the french literally translates as "people waving sticks together," i.e. french catholic missionaries >

we talk about poster's madness but never poster's honor

listen, my first job 20+ years ago was in food service and for nearly 15 years i dealt regularly with elderly white people whose dearest wish is to see me burn in their hell but i think tonight i had a customer be more rude to me than any i've ever served

25 year-old coworker: do you know who garth brooks is? me: oh yeah. how do you feel about chris gaines? 25 year-old coworker: who?

@golikehellmachine.com just booked my plane tickets to pdx for the first week of november, would love to buy you a drink/smoke up/hear your band!

we used to be a real country

some chick is absolutely slaughtering (derogatory) a cover of a snail mail song and someone should hit her, this should be a crime

tomorrow is our tenth (10th) anniversary and i am having some Feelings about that

aw, jane goodall? too bad. rest well, jane.

shit's pretty bad, actually hegseth is so desperate for daddy's approval and i don't trust 47 to keep his lapdog's leash short would like to live in a vastly less stupid timeline

"they murdered my dad but now they're giving me so much money that it doesn't matter" isn't a good look

genuinely one of the most obscene things i think i have ever seen on video

ffffff i've fucked my sleep schedule and getting back on track is gonna suuuuuuuck

Imagine if you started a Reichstag fire, but nobody came

last night at work an elderly golden retriever pushed his forehead into my kneecaps so hard i wanted to cry

a FIVE HOUR funeral? please shoot me instead, jfc

yes i DID read a 315 page novel in the span of about three hours, what's it to you

k but i am pretty sure i need to fucking move