Logging off for a few day to touch grass, kids. Be kind to one another x

Live scenes of me on the sofa x

I’ve had one alcoholic drink today and that’s okay with me x

Me asking my husband to take me from the dinner table to the sofa x

Lovely drink for after dinner x

9 years ❤️

Now in bed drinking a Guinness x

Christmas Day walk done. Absolutely BALTIC but ate an egg mayo sandwich in the car x

Christmas Parkrun done. It is COLD

Family have fucked off and I’ve had a pepto bismol nightcap. Fucking shattered, night all x

Yeah this is just what his communications team wants right now

Dad doing Dad things: -Asleep on the sofa after lunch -Standing way to close to the television and taking none of it in.

She is done!

Peeled some of the skin off my finger today with a potato peeler, so hope whoever gets that bit enjoys it x

No kids about at the local park where we walk today, so husband and I had a race on the zip wires 😍😍

She’s in.

Bigging up Andy because he’s great. I’m not doing a voice reveal as it undermines my profession as a call girl x

When a cold wind blows it chills you, CHILLS YOU TO THE BONE

Who remembers Skircles? I just did - it tracks. A more beautiful bunch of bastards you will not meet x

Often can hear our neighbour stimming through the walls. Today he’s pretending to be a race car. He’s 26.

Just ate a festive bake, maybe for the last time this year. Was nice.

Making this for my family tomorrow. Had it last year and it changed my life. Cheers Rick Stein x thehappyfoodie.co.uk/recipes/lamb...

There’s nothing that kills my erection more than seeing ‘entrepreneurs’ online whose whole personality is living in Dubai. The business model always comes back to telesales / gay baiting online. Always.

Not enough of you I’ll ask same time next year x

Went to Sainsbury’s at 7:09am. Was absolutely heaving.

It’s 2026 in 10 days. I joined this platform at the end of 2024 as I wanted to find some joy in social media again. It worked, and I’ve met some lovely pals along the way (and some genuine fruit loops). Thanks for making it all so much fun - it could have gone right the other way ❤️

If anyone wants a good new telly show, watch Riot Women on iPlayer. BLOWN away by some of the acting. Sooo good!

Merry Christmas to anyone who identifies as slutty x x x

Bill Clinton of all people

First film of annual leave sorted. Just so happens to be the best film of all time x

Bored now. Logging off for the year x

GOOD LORD I’ve just received an email!

Pretty sure I am the only person in my organisation today 🙃

Advent candles are actually really stressful - have I burned too much, too little?!

This weekend I wanted to stay indoors under a blanket and read. And that’s exactly what I’ve done x

My winning, obviously, being Carlos Gu’s legs.

MY STRICTLY WINNER.

I have done my civic duty an voted in the strictly final x

Just gave the exact same feedback as Dame Craig Revel Horwood 💅💅

Just out of curiosity does anyone here want to see my bum x

Having a mild form of body dysmorphia is wild; I’ve lost 2 stone and often look at myself and feel fatter than ever, but then I put on a new jumper and go DAMN and think I’m Kate Moss. Dw, my mind will only be like this for the rest of time xx

My hairdresser has either: -Given me the softest of soft mullets -Decided he couldn’t be arsed to finish my haircut and sent me home with 20% to go. You decide x

If I have to watch one more talentless twink do the SpongeBob dance I will SCREAM

Mummy has passed her probation at work x

I’m sending about an email a day at work at the moment, so am focusing on my course instead. 8 hours of studying makes my eyes want to fall out.

Tried a fermented egg today. Was disgusting.

I regularly go onto LinkedIn to remind myself how lucky I am that I no longer work in Telecoms x

Good - he’s a bully (and fucking thick).

It’s taken nearly 32 years, but I’m going to Scotland for the first time (for work) in Jan 🥹

Strictly was correct.