Right, time for a change. BURNHAM OUT.

The UK is obsessed with sovereignty but I never hear political figures talk about the disproportionate amount of misinformation on social media from overseas bots that are created to create and sew division. Doesn’t feel very sovereign to have live in fear of someone else’s manufactured prejudice?

I was really drunk on a night out in Brighton years ago and I bumped into Ed Milliband by the Boots. Shouted his name and shook his hand. A startled but overall nice bloke x

An incredibly sensible decision.

Can’t believe I’m writing this as a 32 year old man, but someone is spreading rumours about me at work. The fuck?

Andy Burnham not yet PM and what’s he done so far for us since not being PM?? NOTHING. HE MUST RESIGN. By Chris Mason, BBC.

I took this yesterday thinking I looked alright. That is the face of a hungover man fighting for his life

Any football on soon? Feels like forever since the last tournament

I only like two of these things and I’ll let you guess what x

Not a want but a need x

Greggs, snoozing and immodium have got me through the day. I have been so brave x

This was much better than the first x

Just watched Heartstopper Forever. Was rubbish.

About to have my second nap of the day x

This hangover is sponsored by Greggs x

Husband and I swam in the sea in Brighton yesterday and it was glorious x

Tried to be seductive when undressing for my other half. Fell over. Fell into the door.

Body dysmorphia kicking my arse this week but I’ve lost 3lbs. Is this, mental health??

Finally got around to watching Avatar: Way of the Water I reckon you could cut 80 minutes out of that film easy

Andy Burnham must resign

Well that’s the last time I’ll ever be vulnerable x

I had to get my husband to deal with a massive spot on my bum last night and now I can feel it every time I sit down. If you even care x

I think Coolsville sucks!

Feel like a trip to B&Q as it’s been a few days

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

We all know my views on football, but this is an excellent time to remind people: The Falkland Islands are British x

British tapas.

Haters will say I’m lying, but I just had such a massive piss x

I’ve woken up with the most disgusting headache. Realised this when the bin men came to empty the glass as 4:50 🫠

I did this and I have absolutely no idea what it means x

Emergency: I have ran out of coffee.

May this fan get me through the day x

Shall we all take 5 mins for ourselves and just watch some porn? It is Sunday, after all x

I don’t know a single person that has watched this.

My body feels absolutely abused after days of decorating 🫠 stiff, store and the rest!

Diva down

Never has a man ritually publicly humiliated himself over and over for the cause of a man who did not respect him. It’s the D.C rentboys I feel sorry for; their economy may never recover.

This is the kind of decoration you’d find on Zoopla and take the piss out of.

The glossing today was as intense as yesterday! All doors finished, all skirting finished, all door frames finished. Painting finished. EVERYTHING FINISHED. It truly wasn’t about the glossing, but the friends we made along the way. DO NOT follow me for more glossing updates.

Make that 20 times - unreal soundtrack x

First sub 25 min 5k this year!

Since seeing Six yesterday, Dan and I have listened to the soundtrack no less than 8 times today. Just exceptionally good. I keep daydreaming I am on stage performing on stage as Catherine of Aragon (I look great)

You would not believe the glossing I have done today. The start of the day was prepping to enable my husband the painter. BUT THEN, gloss galore. First coats on the last two doors, a final coat on one door and first coat on majority of the door frames. Follow me for more glossing updates!!

Love this picture of us looking slightly overwhelmed by the heat but overall pretty handsome x

This heat is a bit boring isn’t it x

Oh good God, how I know x

Our three year wedding anniversary was spent going to two Hard Rock Cafes and two shows. Trains absolutely fucked in this country and not a drop of shade in sight x

Three years ago today, Dan and I (alongside our former teeth) got married and were the first ever gay couple to do so on the Ship Iona. We continue to break ground wherever we roam x

Sanded all three bag of shite doors at 7am this morning. Washed them all, then GLOSSED one. No longer looking like a bag of shite. Other two look horrific. Follow me for more glossing updates.

It’s a great day to be on planet earth