I seriously deserved a treat after the day I had today. (You probably do too. Go get yourself a little happiness booster.)

Well, one new pipe, one new toilet seal, and one snaking of a clogged main line later... This was another expense we definitely didn't need right now, so if you're in the market for a fun book or weird shirt, we could use the boost. 📚 www.atbpublishing.com 👕 www.teepublic.com/user/atbpubl...

If you too live in a home that was hot-glued together by previous owners, I highly recommend getting leak detectors. Without ours, I wouldn't have known the basement bathroom was filling with water this morning. Fingers crossed it's just the toilet and not a pipe because I can't handle much more.

How I think I'm sitting at the computer vs how I'm *actually* sitting at the computer

Today's Food Fight February is a family affair courtesy of the Women of the Madison County Farm Bureau and their 1981 cookbook. It's Uncle Bud's Onion-Beef Cheese Ball vs Aunt Helen's Cheese Ball to determine once and for all who your favorite relative is. Choose your fighter! 🧀🪩

Jerry: And they were gone? George: Completely gone! And he left a note, bragging about how sweet and cold they were! Jerry: Did he know that you that you were saving those plums for breakfast? George: Oh, he knew!

Giving myself a little pep talk after custom-tailoring my resume for the umpteenth time today.

Based on the number of people I see arguing with obvious bots in their mentions, I feel like a lot of you would benefit from a course in social media literacy before gaining access to the post button.

Just imagine how cool you would look rocking this shirt, with the added bonus of knowing you're supporting a couple of creative weirdos. All designs crafted by actual humans who probably watch too many cheesy movies for their own good. www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/4965...

This meeting could have been ships that pass in the night, and speak to each other in passing, only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness

Just imagine how cool you would look rocking this shirt, with the added bonus of knowing you're supporting a couple of creative weirdos. All designs crafted by actual humans who probably watch too many cheesy movies for their own good. www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/4965...

For today's Food Fight February entry, it's celebrity fondue vs the people's fondue. Would you rather serve your guests Susan Lucci's Fireside Fondue (two cheeses and two boozes) or Weaver's Chicken Fondue ("heat, if desired" processed cheese)? Grab bread or nuggets and choose your fighter! 🥖🫕🍗

TeePublic is currently having a sale, which means you can pick up one of our delightfully weird creations at a discount. Have a favorite niche movie or TV show and wish someone would make an homage design? Drop me a comment and we'll see what we can do! www.teepublic.com/user/atbpubl...

100% likelihood these guys would try to have a legitimate conversation with a Furby

Logging on

I spent today at jury duty waiting to not get picked, so it feels fitting to bring that energy to Food Fight February. Here are some 2nd prize winners from the 22nd Pillsbury Bake-Off. It's Cheese 'n Apple Pie Cups vs Ham-It-Up Crescent Snacks in a canned dough showdown. Choose your fighter! 🍎🧀🥐

It's crushing to be excited about projects celebrating creativity, like say for example an upcoming documentary about women in horror, and then see that they used fucking gen AI to make their poster. They could have hired an artist to share her vision of the topic, but no. Fuck AI.

TFW you call the reporting line as a formality because you're confident your number is too high to have to go... only to find out you're spending tomorrow at Jury Duty.

My brain, after working in social media for over 15 years.

I feel like I should earn personal pan pizzas for shoveling snow like I did for reading books as a kid.

I cannot overstate how therapeutic the weird gameplay in Hello Kitty Island Adventure is. Yes please, I would in fact like to create a custom wand to transform into a gigantic terrarium that can swim and dive but also tips over and bobs in the water like a derpy goofball. How did you know?

You can watch the entirety of a "fun volleyball movie" and still have time to make yourself a snack to enjoy with the next episode reveal announcement. (Go watch SPIKER is what I'm saying.) www.rifftrax.com/spiker

For today, let's pair up two midcentury illustrations that feel just a bit... off. Food Fight February wants to know which is more creepy - A banana lady serving up bananas or a kid feeding tuna casserole to a big fish? It's Bananas and Sour Cream vs Tuna Noodle Casserole. Choose your fighter! 🍌🐟

I cannot overstate how therapeutic the weird gameplay in Hello Kitty Island Adventure is. Yes please, I would in fact like to create a custom wand to transform into a gigantic terrarium that can swim and dive but also tips over and bobs in the water like a derpy goofball. How did you know?

Every episode of Unwrapped, has at least one brand rep who describes production quantities in the weirdest metric. "If you stretched them out they'd go from NY to LA 6.5 times." "If you melted it down, it would fill a football field." "It's like 3 Empire State Buildings of candy every year."

You can just have an ice cream sundae for breakfast, no one can stop you.

Oh, sure. When a baby monkey does it it's cute. But when I try to bring this with me to the grocery store it's all, "Ma'am can we call someone to come pick you up?"

No exaggeration, we watch @rifftrax.com DANCIN': IT'S ON! at least once a month. It's basically our therapy. One of my favorite things about it is how much you can hear the team laughing at each other's jokes throughout the recording. It's just pure joy. www.rifftrax.com/dancin-its-on

Oh, sure. When a baby monkey does it it's cute. But when I try to bring this with me to the grocery store it's all, "Ma'am can we call someone to come pick you up?"

Big mood.

Tag yourself in this page from the classic book How to Garnish. I'm Silly Goose, obviously.

Wish I could rewind this streaming channel to show you the ad I just saw for a cleaning brush. A clearly fake woman was scrubbing a clearly fake bathtub dripping with clearly fake soap foam. Fade to white, text appears. CHUYUGG Either I just passed through the uncanny valley or had a stroke.

Every time I see a former colleague write some bullshit LinkedIn post about "responsible" or "thoughtful" use of genAI, I get pushed closer to full-throated screaming at them in public. I just want to ask every single one of them what they think they're going to get in return for their souls.

Girl lunch

Today feels like the kind of day to spend drinking coffee until I can see through time.

Rob is a whole mood on tonight's episode of The Traitors

We've got a battle of the sexes in today's Food Fight February entry, though I suspect this is a battle with no winners. It's Pillsbury vs Lipton as Cracker Jills face off against Messy Hanks for the title that quite frankly nobody wants. Choose your fighter! 🍪🍔

Every joyous celebration of creativity is a welcome breath of fresh air.

I got turned down for a job as a cashier at my local grocery store because they said I had too much professional experience and they worried I would just quit to take a marketing or editing job. And I'm like, there ARE no marketing or editing jobs. That's why I'm applying to be a grocery cashier.

Looking at you, Jiffy Lube "ready already" commercial. 🙄

Same request, but for the music. I swear, every song I've heard so far in the women's Free Skate has sounded like the forlorn tune that plays as someone rolls out their suitcase after being eliminated from a reality dating show.

Throwing this out there again because things are pretty dire at the moment. I never thought that being a skilled writer and editor was something that would ever *not* be in demand, but here we are. If your creative project is in need of a human touch, please consider me to be that human!

Logging on

At some point you reach the age where enough individual parts of your body hurt at the same time that you understand the appeal of transforming into pure energy.

My dad just called me from the car to tell me he was going to the store and the last time he went he tried this new pub cheese and do I want him to get me some as if the answer wasn't going to be yes. (And also, it's obvious we're related.)

Is one of the options being turned into meatballs? Because it seems like you're implying one of the options is being turned into meatballs.