... because, as we all know, regime change worked out super great in Iraq and Afghanistan. Super great!

She is so over.

Good God. Trump's Council of Economic Advisors are either clueless or sycophants. acasignups.net/26/02/13/goo...

This guy thought Pleasantville was a horror movie.

I don't want to alarm anybody but apparently someone has given Texas sewer clowns an anti-aircraft weapon

well i for one couldn’t be more excited for the possibilities of AI. finally a technology that answers the age old question ‘what if clippy was wormtongue’

(Washington DC NBC affiliate news just now) (CSPAN video clip ends) (announcer sounding incredulous) " ...and that was the Attorney. General. Of the United. States."

Do mogul skiers ever narrate their runs like an anime character? ow ow ow ow ow ow WEEEEEEEE ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow WEEEEEEEE...

Whenever someone in the administration says "worst of the worst", I would suggest the clarifying question "what percentage of people detained by ICE have more felony convictions than the President?"

That's crazy! Who wants to talk to meat? What would you even say? "Hello, meat!"?

Meta AI is now auto-generating AI questions about one-sentence Facebook posts, and I'm afraid I'm going to need a Meta datacenter keycard and an electromagnetic pulse generator.

Can't go wrong with An Emotional Fish, this is the perfect show closer, and man I can't wait for this show to close: www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3oQ...

People are asking a lot of questions about my "Don't Panic" email that are already answered by the email.

I'm in the upper left-hand corner of "Progressive American Democrats" right next to Joe Biden, and I'm genuinely not sure how I should feel about that.

I'm not sure that "Alexa: it's definitely not trying to kill you" is really the convincing message they want to spend a pile of money advertising?

I gotta say, "Make America Healthy Again" is a bold fucking statement for an administration trying to systematically dismantle healthcare systems worldwide.

Does the Puppy Bowl halftime show feature an actual bunny, and if not, what even the fuck are we doing here?

In a future commercial, we're gonna need to see that dog speak French.

Claude, with the anti-other-AIs ad, always an indicator that a market segment is cooked.

Why is the media is still airing Donald Trump interviews? Couldn't we just get somebody to watch that for us and give us a brief summary later? Here, I'll start: "Weird racist idiot at end of bar rambled mostly-incoherently for about forty-five minutes, mostly lies and bullshit, some eugenics"

A friend just reminded me of why most of the TV news and most of the sports I really care about that I watch are telecasts made in other countries.

I am entirely unsurprised to learn that Dr Oz has never heard of a program called 'Obamacare'.

If nothing else, we can all rest easier knowing that we are being kept safe from the scourge of Budget Chicken.

Dear NBC4 Washington: I'm not sure "Maryland was the first state in the US to not have an official policy of anti-Italian bigotry!" is quite the compliment you just made it sound like.

Classical music nerds: is that Lang Lang playing the piano?

Sergio Mozzarella YOU JUST MADE THAT UP JESUS IS NOTHING REAL ANYMORE

Y'know, this may be the first time I've ever heard the Italian national anthem NOT sung by mechanics and drunk Ferrari fans.

DC's NBC affiliate is playing commercials from the health insurance lobby assuring us that "we're working for you" and I just made a noise that startled the dog. The dog died of cancer several years ago.

The Olympic ice dancing competition includes many regrettable covers of songs, but the absolutely tragic and sad version of Ravel's Bolero that was just used has prompted me to dig out the definitive version: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iqr...

With the return of the Olympics, let us take a moment to commemorate the greatest Olympic sponsorship moment ever:

Does anybody else think that Kash Patel seems like you'd expect a Saturday Night Live parody of Kash Patel to be?

My old crush is over. (I'm sorry, Lucy Worsley.) From now on, I only fanboy for Michelle Thaller.

When people say that legislation needs to catch up to technology, I'm not sure they meant a new legal standard of "Possible Cause".

a Warcraft-themed bar called "The Perky Pub" is this anything

CARTOONS American: the cat and the mouse injure each other comically. By tomorrow they will both be magically healed. Japanese: the first half season emotionally invests in a unit of child soldiers. In the second half, one at a time, they are all killed horribly, except the CO, who gets PTSD.

There will need to be a MoonShot-equivalent governmental commitment to the erasure of these illegal databases, the re-protection of personally identifiable data, an evaluation of every govt IT system touched by DOGE, GrokxAI and Palantir, and the prosecution of the offeding companies and their CEOs.

GLOBAL REACTIONS TO THE EPSTEIN FILES: 1) UK UK government: We're not gonna call you Steve anymore, you're Kevin now Sir Worthington Snot-Factory: (sob) I'm ruined! 2) US every evil rich dude: (slides forward big bag with $ written on it) US government: (whistles tunelessly)

melania melania melania (begins pounding on table) MELANIA MELANIA MELANIA (JUMPING AROUND ROOM SCREAMING) MELANIA MELANIA MELANIA MELANIA MELANIA MELANIA PRESS THE BUTTON, FRANK

... because when people are having a heart attack, what they really need to do is to look up some hospital websites and make a spreadsheet of what each charges for various services OMFG SHUT UP YOU CAPERING LACKWIT

Unreal. He’s shutting down the Kennedy Center, after his flunkies caused mass defections of artists? Everything the man touches turns to ash. Our cultural heritage; destroyed. Our national treasures; plundered.

A few days ago a friend joked that a third of Trump supporters don't know where Wisconsin is and sometimes life is so beautiful I can't hardly stand it

Dear the fam: If you come back from the dead to try and sell me things, I swear on your grave that I will devote my life to ensuring you die a second time.

New rule: you are not allowed to talk about OPSEC unless there is an op. Where is the OPORD? Is there even a warning order? WHO IS PLANNING THIS GODDAMM GOAT RODEO?

Preening Scowling Void of Nothingness is my Godspeed You Black Emperor cover band.

I am a Big-10 person by birth, and have absolutely no desire whatsoever to live in Boston, but I gotta admit I'm kinda jealous of that whole "college hockey capital of the world" thing. Imagine being able to go see college hockey live, all the damn time. What luxury!

My wife was browsing cocktail recipes, and based on what she was reading to me, came up with this: rocks glass, rocks: -2-1/2oz blanco tequila -1/2oz smoked tea vanilla syrup -1oz blanco vermouth -1-1/2oz Luxardo bitter (their Campari-alike) She likes it. I find it a little too bitter. 1/2

I've seen a lot of weird shit since I moved to DC, but I gotta say, this is the first time I've ever had to pickaxe a car out of a block of ice.

This does track with their policy that good moderation at scale is effectively impossible, though.

Trump Derangement Syndrome has so broken people that even a dyed-in-the-wool supporter like Senator Football Coach has lost his mojo and is now just 'Senator'.

I did this in my 30s, in the middle of my second divorce. I threw myself at work, because it's so much easier to focus on someone else's problems. I was only home to sleep, because home was a miserable place. I had limitless energy. Dude: figure it out. Find peace. Put the capers on the bagel.