Every day, millions of people look at their TVs and say "fuck THAT lady" but there was one guy who was like "I'M ON IT!"

Many people are unaware that this is the source of his nickname, John "THIS fuckin' guy" Solomon.

Trump has inspired me. I'm writing a reprise of the classic John Lennon Christmas song, called "Merry Christmas (We Bombed Nigeria)"

Some people consider it one of the greatest movies of all time, others find it problematic, but it plays every year, and it's only two minutes and thirty-six seconds long, so you might as well watch it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFXx...

Jesus, please, make us happy sometimes www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfnr...

If the news media is going to air statements like this, would it be too much to ask for the announcer to add "Also, I plan to learn how to levitate myself using only the power of my mind"?

St. Mary of the Cass Corridor

YOUR MOVE, DAVID TENNANT

This is the singer/harmonica player from my blues band during a solo. His name is Kevin.

Facebook would like to remind the software development community that your user interface should not tell obvious lies.

In case you only have one TV, you may be surprised to learn that there's less scoring three quarters into the Miami/A&M game

This is the most amazing thing I have seen in a while, and you should stop what you're doing right now and check out this thread. Coolest thing on Bluesky since Brak singing Institutionalized.

Increasingly, articles about healthcare in the US make more sense if you mentally substitute out "for-profit health insurance" and replace it with "elaborate fraud". 1/2

(parrot) ...Sir Neville Mariner conducting

Imogen Heap "Hide and Seek" is like an experimental music piece answering the question "what if Autotune was used for good?" The Ball Park Music cover answers the question "what if Hide and Seek was alt-country shoegaze?" Answer: well, fucking brilliant is what www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdX8...

(endless weeping)

BREAKING NEWS: tonight PWHL Boston Fleet @ New York Sirens, 7:00 – 10:00pm Eastern time, free on YouTube. Not only is this the pinnacle of women's sports that you should absolutely be immersing yourselves in, I have just checked the TV Guide and there is nothing else on worth a shit in that time.

Do you mean to tell me that you've got- (removes sunglasses) ...cheese out the wazoo? (Roger Daltrey screams)

My recently departed cousin insisted that it was pronounced "Oss Joss".

(sigh) ...is potato

The fascists are organising a carol concert in London to "draw attention to unchecked immigration and the fading of our cultural heritage". What would Woody do? Write an anti-fascist Xmas carol and sing it at the counter demo. www.youtube.com/watch?v=liRd...

What, and I cannot stress this enough, the actual fuck

From the perspective of having worked in healthcare IT: okay, suppose we are going to combine the most evil part of health insurance with the dumbest part of computer science? What could go wrong? I predict there are two obvious failure modes, one that occurs instantly and prompts the second. 1/2

"Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars, LOTR, or Marvel." ...I'm obnoxious and disliked, you know that's so.

Just returned from a dinner party where this was served, and it was amazing: zestfulkitchen.com/martini-chic...

They say that the first casualty of war is the truth, but while that's correct in a broad sense, the IMMEDIATE first casualty is the Chili's being open. Motherfuckers had best stock up on the baby back ribs beforehand

It seems weird that the party divisions in my childhood were "lower taxes, less regulation" vs. "some regulations are good actually, and also we kinda need a way to pay for this stuff SOMEHOW" and now they seem so wildly different. 1/2

This is a perfect description of a Westinghouse flat screen television

Colin. You'll never convince me that guy wasn't on crank all the time.

This could go either way. On one hand, K-pop Demon Hunters was cool; on the other, I will knife-fight you before I let you explain who "Mr Beast" is or why I should give a shit about him.

One of the biggest lessons the infantry teaches is that you and everything you own being cold and wet and knowing there's no plan to address that in the next week is about as miserable as you can get in peacetime.

THE MURDERBOT Rocks glass, rocks: -1-1/2oz cheap bourbon -1oz Luxardo -1/2oz Dolin Genepy -fill with Fresca -garnish with maraschino cherry It sounds like a weird collection of parts, but deceptively, tastes sweet and smooth. Serve with buttered popcorn and a Murderbot episode.

In the midwest, the devout look down on the "Christmas-and-Easter religious" but I don't think enough is said about the fans that only get to be happy, like, once every twenty years or so.

The TV is just kinda on in the background while we do other stuff, but I coulda swore I heard somebody say that the Bears were the #1 seed in the NFC ETHEL FETCH MY MEDICINAL MALORT I'M GETTIN THE VAPORS

After my grandmother died, I found a bundle containing every single letter I'd ever written to her, and being one of the designated holding-it-together people, I had to excuse myself to the back bathroom so no one could see me crying like a three-year-old with skinned knees.

It's amazing to me how large the political bloc in the USA is that's summed up as rage that somewhere, some poor person is getting some free thing from the government. I know a lot of that is just a proxy for racism, sexism, and other bigotries, but Jesus Christ people, fix your hearts or die.

In fairness, no one could have possibly seen this coming.

The player profile of Turbo Richard was sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods and I would like to reiterate that I do not currently smell burnt toast and once again ask if there are other symptoms to watch for.

Exactly 80 years ago tomorrow (Nov. 30, 1945), German submarine commander Heinz-Wilhelm Eck and two of his former subordinates on the U-852 were shot by Allies in Hamburg for killing the survivors of a ship they had sunk. Pete Hagueseth should be very worried. www.executedtoday.com/2009/11/30/1...

I am not currently smelling burnt toast. Is there some other symptom I should be looking for?

The guys on the Arizona game just said that the "Big Noon Kickoff" starts at 9 and goddammit we used to live in a society

In fairness, he is likely correct that assimilation is impossible for child soldiers the CIA trained to be sociopathic killing machines, but wouldn't a simpler solution be "well let's stop doing THAT then"?

We've just eaten the first test slices of this, with whipped cream and a sparkling rose, gonna call this a winner.

OMFG someone finally rescued this horrible song and it's MAJESTIC I cannot stress this enough you got to pick it up pick it up pick it up

"What could go wrong?" is this administration's lodestar, not in the jokey shitposting sense, but in a genuine near-total incompetence and lack of awareness of anything that could go wrong, like a child whose parents are F1 fans and now constantly repeats "leave me alone, I know what I'm doing".

IT'S OKAY GUYS I GOT THIS "Trump Republican" is an anagram for: -Peculiar Burnt PM -Rump Nub Particle -Burnt Ump Replica -Mr. Burp Inculpate -Purple Cumin Brat -Bra Crumple Input -Urban Pulp Metric -Cunt Ripple Umbra -Burlap Rectum Pin -Ecru Print Pablum -Lamb Price Upturn -Bairn Rectum Pulp 1/2

If you are a sports-enjoyer and aren't already watching, I cannot recommend the PWHL/LPHF highly enough. And if you're one of those hockey purists that pooh-poohs women's Olympic hockey because there's not supposed to be any hitting, this is obviously Not That. www.thepwhl.com/en/news/2025...

On one hand, everyone who gives financial tips and listens to their lawyers includes words to the effect of "Past performance is no guarantee of future results". On the other hand, doing the opposite of Cramer's recommendations would have been pretty lucrative in the last two market crashes...

Oklahoma Sex Dick is my Atlanta Rhythm Section cover band

Trump's crypto benefactor is funding Hamas is the Netanyahu is funding Hamas of Iran is funding Hamas.