Julia Hartley-Brewer released without charge.

That's in Seine

It may seem impossible, but I fear last night's events will make Trump even more of an unbearable arsehole. #ffs

Inflation takes hold.

Ann Widdecombe back on the streets.

You lazy cow, Melanie.

My heart goes out to Italian football. *It doesn't.

The most extravagant example of wank parking I've seen in some time.

Gets her at least another two years watching Countdown and drinking soup through a straw.

My guess is he's Iran's new supreme leader.

24 messaged that she missed the dog. *coughs*

Can't be arsed to type it again.

Like Trump is FDR.

'I claimed for the massage because there was no happy ending."

Jesus... when did the race start?

Excellent band name.

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

364 days of the year no one gives a big fat rat's arse about pancakes.

I've got the body of a 35-year old. No room in the freezer, though.

Number 74 in my occasional series, 'Look at the size of this pineapple'.

Walnuts: far too many calories for something that tastes bang average.

Watched Mike Leigh's Bleak Moments for the first time. His directorial debut. I'm a huge Leigh fan but the title is very apt. Couldn't wait for it to finish.

Me at a Dolly Parton party with one of the Dollys. IRL she's a skinhead. I was not bladdered at this point.

😆😆

Jesus suffering fuck.

This is who runs this account.

Residents propose 'Nonce Andrew's Road'.

How many Dolly Partons can you fit in one room? Big birthday fun. Not mine. Selfie before it all went a bit Pete Tong. Will crash and burn later.

12 Angry Sausages

The kind of evening I'd gladly dropkick into the arse end of nowhere.

Decided I'm not dressing up for a forthcoming Dolly Parton-themed party because the last time I wore a wig it made me sweat like a bastard.

Hope this Maralago-faced *bitch gets the book thrown at her. *Rarely use that word, but bring it out on special occasions.

Reform twat shows his and their true colours.

Don't dignify a neo-fascist state with the hosting of the World Cup. Postpone the competition. Football doesn't matter in the face of this sickening barbarism.

It's a little known fact that Mary Tudor was reincarnated as Dennis Waterman.

Just renewed my senior railcard. 35 quid. Totally worth it for being asked to show railcard photo.

23 turns 24. Here she is cuddling a hamster back in uni days.

Over on Twitter I just posted the immortal words, 'Get yer gimp suit on... you've pulled'.

Running the tuck shop.

Bored of peace, more like. *I surely can't be the first.

I'm really interested in the Beckham family feud. I say really interested, I mean I couldn't give a big fat rat's arse.

Eating my feelings today. Penguins (not real ones) Curly Wurlies Good job there's no cake in the house.

At least if someone gives him their award, we'd be spared the swimsuit round.

'You, boy! A tenner on Trump to be the next Miss World...'

One of today's more unreasonable statements: Would it kill you to put that in the dishwasher?

My appointment at the Impatience Clinic can't come a moment too soon.

Apparently Iran has threatened to assassinate Trump if they are attacked.

Ditto Jenrick. Another arsehole.

An anagram of Robert Jenrick is I'm desperate don't judge me.