Until the other day, my memory of Hide was as a swanky place but rather rubbish for vegetarians. I think I ate a plate of vegetables & beans when I last went for dinner there. Anyway, their breakfast fare is, conversely, great - veggie or non. Definitely keeping it in mind for future morning dates 💯

And besides weather commentary, I also do pretty fun dates too! Here's one featuring one hot me and the world's only acceptable form of spotted dick

But this double rainbow makes it allllllllllll worth it....... 🌈👯

Incessant rain, cold, wind, excessive dark hours and gloom aside, I just love this time of year in London

My cute client was so keen to squeeze in an early Valentine's celebration before jetting off. In retrospect though, I'm not so sure squeezing in a full afternoon tea before a full something else was quite the one....

Wanna know what my favourite places to eat at were in January? No? Well, I'm telling you anyway 😂 OMA in Borough Market and trusty old Nobu. Special shout outs to the the laffa and salt cod labneh at OMA as well as the excellent cocktails and great waiter we had who

A dream in cream

Grey to match the unrelenting, ceaseless, neverending rain situation 🌧️

Cat lady or cat woman? You decide 🖤

And for your birthday present, I present you, well, errr, ME!!!! 💝🔥

I'm going to sound like a bit of a twat but I feel very grateful for my awesome regz - the ones who tune into who you are, quietly take note at what matters to you, and who zone in on your passions & tailor dates around them. Thank you for this awesome private baking class for two in Paris ❤️

My X account was reinstated today following a second appeal (they came back after the first saying I'd been suspended for being counterfeit, eh?!). NGL I was glad to see it was back but simultaneously not about to run naked and singing into a field about it.

I love being whisked away. I even love the sound of being whisked away. It sounds whimsical and airy, high vibrational and like it might taste of vanilla.

Valentino, your spirit lives on ❤️

Couples massage. We'll leave you now to get dressed. Us: yes, yes, pls do that! 😈 🔥

The thigh is most definitely NOT the limit 😉

If I ever fall, let it be out of a dress

Just because you *can* do something in life doesn't mean that you *should* (yes, I'm looking at you prosecco flavoured crisps and tomato leaf hand cream). However, since one of my ATFs introduced me to the tomatini in Mykonos, I can confidently say that I am HOOKED! 🍅🍸

About as close as this girl gets to looking bridal....

I love a dinner date as much as the next companion but a lunch date hits different. Sneaking away from a day that others are working hard in, indulging in a languorous and decadent lunch while everyone else is eating a Tesco meal deal al desko....

From the pre-concert archives 🎹

As with Scheherazade of The Thousand and One Nights, power often lies not with the man who seems to wield it, but with the woman who holds his attention, night after night after night

Ok this is probably one of the most tantalising things I've seen on SW socials in a loooooong time......A buddy read with Isys and a view of her actual hand?! Lord have mercy 🥵

Most of my fave restaurants of 2025 were with a good reg of mine including this one here: Lilibet's. Mayfair restos can be hit & miss with prices seeming to cover rent & décor v quality (saying this like I pay for my own meals. Ha). If you go, try the anchovy éclairs. Sound weird, taste gooooooood 😋

This is the risqué post I tried making before getting suspended from Twitter yesterday. Doing my bit for the environment by reusing it here. Are you ready to be scandalised? Are you sure? Ok, let's go...... Guys definitely before mince pies 💯

Snow bunny application hereby submitted ❄️ 🐰 St Moritz & Val d'Isère top of the wishlist since you asked 😂

The feeling of sleeping in freshly laundered sheets needs bottling along with the sight of bumblebees dancing on lavender and opening a packet of paracetamol non-leaflet side first 💯

Do you have a New Year’s resolution? Yes you do and it’s to make bluesky your go-to social media for sexy content. You will forget your Twitter login 😵‍💫 uninstall the app from your phone 😵‍💫 forget about it entirely 😵‍💫 what’s twitter? Yeah, you dont know, never heard of it. Bluesky is your fav now

Posting daily across multiple platforms is a sign of someone who’s serious & evolved in their approach to marketing and social media. Committed. Disciplined. Also a sign that someone finally got their X account suspended 🥂 Only took 8 years! Not sure whether to feel proud or personally insulted 😂

The sun is so soft and everything is in bloom and the air smells like an exclamation mark for something that’s about to happen - Yael van der Wouden, The Safekeep

Your side of the bed misses you almost as much as I do

Sorry about the temperature rise 🌡️

On the subject of socials, one thing I keep forgetting to do is post content I've amassed - even on the social media I use almost daily. It's so silly. I took all these pics at the best restaurant I've been to so far this summer and only just getting round to posting now! Smh.

I am so bloody hopeless at socials. X feels like a necessary evil & once I've posted there, all my superpowers have been depleted by the awful vitriol & bile in the world. At least that's my current excuse😂 anyway after a period of tour prep, touring then FMTYs,I'm back!At least until the next FMTY😂

Long weekends: where you don’t travel time zones, but your body clock does. Now accepting tips on how to jet lag myself back into a workweek......

“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides"

I love first dates in intellectually stimulating company where, before even a single item of clothes has been peeled off, your brain is in a pre-orgasmic, frothy lather 🧼 it just makes those actual real life orgasms that bit stronger. Do you know what I mean?Ok also helps that he chose my fave hotel

"If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on, sugar, tell me so" – Rod Stewart

Hot days, hotter dates 🔥

Life's a beach 🏖️

The only thing I missed about online dating was other people's recommendations on arts & culture and bars & restaurants...but then I entered the industry & everyone I met shared their vibrant interests with me & all the cool girls on sm gave me great date ideas, like this one at Sessions Arts Club:

Have you risen?

Who needs their name up in lights when you can get it inscribed in bats' blood on a chunky envelope instead? 🦇

Not sure what we do to time, but the way it absolutely zooms by when we're together is definitely a phenomenon physicists would be interested in 🖤

Celebrating my birthday a bit early with a total fave who's been there since the beginning ❤️

Chilled coupes of champagne on sunny spring days are my love language ❤️

3rd night in a row sexting an insanely generous admirer & it's such an indescribably hot feeling being so beguiled by someone's words, entranced by snippets of their honeyed tones in voice notes they've shared & so utterly seduced that you're thoroughly intrigued by someone you haven't even met yet

Wow! Just did my first ever sexting session as Saffron and it was so hot we're doing it again tomorrow. Also, have to say it felt pretty awesome being given a generous sum for what was essentially staying home in gym wear and masturbating in my room like a teenager 😂

Giles Coren is a bit of an insufferable tool but he was spot-on about the chips (US transl. fries) at Cora Pearl. To. Die. For. A splendid date with really wonderful company. Not sure how our dates whizz by but it feels like we're bidding farewell minutes after our hugs and hellos.