This is the way

Please share- The @burylitfest.bsky.social is running a writing competition for children with some great prizes! www.burylitfest.co.uk/childrens-cr...

They say there’s no such thing as a job for life but the head of customer services at Principality Building Society is called Vicky Wales, so.

All I will say about what just happened is that had I lived and died as someone who’d never tried to fizz up flat beer in a sodastream I would’ve felt sad.

Pick up the nearest book, turn to p. 42, and post the second sentence: “She looked at him nobly.” @lissakevans.bsky.social

Over 21,000 signatures already! Please help get it to 25,000 today! Women living metastatic breast cancer are dying before their time, lets help them access the life extending drug #Enhertu action.breastcancernow.org/sign-petitio...

GIVEAWAY! Dead Weight is coming out next week and to celebrate I'm giving away two copies that have been personally bitten by Uggi and will be personally signed by me and shipped to the winners wherever they live! To enter just like and share this post and I'll select the winners on May 26th!

My insta feed has filled with massive kitchen ice cream makers that do a whippy. If you want to flog me a machine the approximate size of an ice cream van, at least throw in four wheels and Match of the Day chimes. Or Greensleeves, I’ll take Greensleeves.

Happy Sunday breakfast, all (and all welcome). I admit to buying 10kg of dried mealworms at a time from an independent. I will mumble the order’s frequency.

14 jackdaws just turned up in my little garden, for their mealworm tea. Started with 3 at breakfast a couple of weeks ago. Add to that the full stereophonic workshop of a couple of dozen first brood starlings, and the blackbird, sparrow and dunnock usual suspects. No thrush or robin though. 🌱🦉🌿🐦‍⬛

Cake forks are far better at lifting borage seedlings from between patio slabs than they are at forking cake. You can have that one for free, Spear and Jackson. 🌼🌱

I still love the theory a Year 6 child proposed to me that David Attenborough is actually God and he got fed up with people not noticing the amazing things he'd created, so he made documentaries to show off.

Reform is a protest party. A protest against decency, integrity, kindness, expertise, and progress. It's a party of pettiness and hate, and it is made up of petty and hateful people from the grassroots to the very top. What it doesn't have is competence. So good luck with the bins and potholes.

Anyone need a single train ticket from Liverpool to London at 20:43 tomorrow (Sunday)? Boost so it can get used 😉

Absolutely this. I lent them my vote; they slapped me in the face. Fool me once, Labour.

Disabled people, what would be satisfying enemies to punch or shoot in a video game set in the year 3000?

This shit has been driving me insane. None of the major papers or politicians discuss this calculated contradiction in terms designed to drive us all into early graves. 'You must work' but 'We won't help you stay in work or enforce discrimination laws'.

On Monday daughter turned 30. Today she asked me to generate a PAC code so she can leave the family mobile phone plan.

Just off the mum’s day call. To nobody’s peace of mind, tiny mum watches a lot of telly news. Quote of the call, in broad Suffolk, “I heard we ev a month of oil reserves… well, that’s ain’t gunna last five minutes…”

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work. “Fucksake, Gareth.”

I’d be the worst vengeful ghost ever. My strategy with people I dislike is to ignore them. Catch a glimpse of nothing at all in the rearview mirror? Let that be a lesson. Thermostat a steady 20c? Wooo, haunted bitch. Had a peaceful, uninterrupted night’s sleep? KNOW YOU ARE FEELING MY WRATH.

so happy rn

More than a bit enchanted by first ep of Small Prophets. Want to live next door to Michael, buy his house and keep him safe. Man needs a preservation order, like a tree. The bugs and beasts our combined gardens would welcome. Not a metaphor.

We call Dewi, my daughter’s rescue, as black and as quicksilver as the small dragon, and made of chaos and clever and love, Toothless for this very reason.

Lots of people asking how to easily search the Epstein files. The DOJ search is rubbish. Other public searches don't have all the documents. Here are the instructions (for Linux). Anyone with moderate technical ability can do this within an hour or so. github.com/DanNeidle/ep...

Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, post the second sentence. That man he wants a lot.

A GIFT FOR YOU. A free download of the Cast Your Pod to the Wind lp awaits at www.TMBGshop.com. 23 TMBG rarities includes I’m Your Boyfriend Now, We Live in a Dump, Brain Problem Situation, and I Hear A New World w/ Robin Goldwasser. An Idlewild Recordings exclusive not to be on streaming sites.

Distracted, caught myself saying to Mr Bailey, ‘no, you’re going to have to sort yourself out, you’re an adult’. Mr Bailey is a tabby.

Currently watching The Sound Of Music and saying banger every time there’s a banger. I’m saying banger a lot.

I mean. Over half a kilo of crispy, crushed filo, baked with zesty orange custard, then drenched in orange cinnamon syrup. In the fridge til unclipped tomorrow, when it will hopefully have more structural integrity than me.

Woke in the wee worry hours, so food prep since 4. House smells of Ravneet Gill’s insta portolakopita. Incredible. Planning afternoon mega nap. If I play this Christmas Eve right I might get through without putting on a bra. Health and safety tho.

The world turns and here we are. Winter Solstice G&T & St Germaine with garden strawberries and golden raspberries picked on Summer Solstice. Warm cheers, all.

Annoying post. 👇 Trying to raise £300 to support Stockbridge Village Community food bank. Got £54.50 in the kitty so far. Please help! pay.collctiv.com/stockbridge-...

Trimmed it like a tree to WHAMTOPIA, and we’re doing this for real from now on. Daughter’s partner fixes the coffee equipment of NW eateries, so earned his first of what’ll many, many, many earliest convenience mulled wines this morning. Merry Christmas to the lad!

This year we're doing Whamutopia. Every time you hear Last Christmas you have to have a mulled wine at your earliest convenience and toast George Michael, because he was a lad

Labour's blinkered 'Build baby build’ agenda could speed up nature decline to the point of no return, conservation charities warn. Devastating to watch this happening, whilst knowing how close to the brink so many species are, already. #wildlife #nature www.wildlifetrusts.org/news/conserv...

He really does just pull it out of his arse, doesn’t he.

Please share this job opportunity here in Liverpool. Thank you v much. www.rootstowork.org/jobs/?job_id...

I swear it comes around faster every year 🎉

Rightio, we’ll find one. Keep using mouthwash.

Food people in my phone, your food looks lovely. I want to eat it. I don’t want to see you eating it. I know how to eat. Also, that shake / sundae / cocktail looks ever so nice in its glass. It doesn’t need to spill down the sides. Burger contents, too, can stay inside the bun. Yrs, with the ick.

Reading some northern hemi sadness at packing away summer clothes & am relieved to be unhampered enough by either fashion sense or taste in general to find wearing a light frock with woolly tights and a big jumper acceptable and encouraged. Also, Autumn beats summer, so.

This is such a clever idea on taking kids to museums/galleries www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Lucky to top off a Suffolk week with @oliahercules.bsky.social and @felicityspector.bsky.social in conversation with @nicmiller.bsky.social as part of @burylitfest.bsky.social The heart, hope, family histories, food, friends, fight and spirit of Ukraine Thank you, all🇺🇦🌻

Tony Harrison and Brian Patten within a couple of days. That’s a snug 89 to 92 Bretton Hall nest on my bookcase. Travel well, both, and thank you 💚

Apparently same price on Kobo. My absolute favourite read of last year. It’s a balm. I cannot write reviews, my head just goes blurblurblur, but there is no better way to splash 99p.

For Interesting Holidays would absolutely work for me.

Had a 💯 Blackpool overnighter for Harry Hill reasons (30 yrs since we first saw him for our first together thing). Went a couple of miles up the coast this morning, following some Andor info. This being filmed at Thornton-Cleveleys is the weirdest. He was just a tourist, Disney+. Just a tourist.

Across the pond with Britbox US? If you fancy a period drama that properly rollicks along, from fish gutting at the docks to getting far fancier pants, I think Hardacres might stream from today. Special mention (inevitably) to Young Master Harry Hardacre, who’s away at the mo, filming s2.