“Vexing choices”

Make a Bond movie casual From Russia with Platonic Friendship

I thought he got rid of ISIS and ended all the wars.

👏SOMEONE 👏TELL👏THOSE👏FOUR 👏CALLING👏BIRDS👏THEIR👏FEATHERED👏ASSES👏COULDA👏JUST👏TEXTED👏I👏DON'T👏NEED👏TEN👏MINUTES👏OF👏SQUAWKIN'👏ON👏MY👏DAMN👏VOICEMAIL👏AND👏WHATNOT!👏

minaj is on the verge of having her $20M home forcibly sold by the court to cover a $500K debt, in case you wonder what’s going on here

It’s the “season of love and giving”…but this year, doesn’t it seem more like a “season of fear and taking”? Like many of you, I’ve been saddened by the human impact of draconian government budget cuts and how angry many housed Americans are at unhoused Americans. 🧵 1 of 9

Anthony Joshua playing with and then beating the ever loving sh*t out of Jake Paul gives me a glimmer of hope for humanity.

Conservative cold war just went hot at AmFest. Shapiro just came for Candace Owens, Tucker Carlson, and Steve Bannon HARD, not sideways or with caveats but head-on and furious Tucker Carlson speaks in about an hour. I can't believe I get to be here for this

Same dudes that complain about “new math”

Just the daily reminder of how not great Newsom is

Big news: Venezuela is an island!

Yeah cops aren’t particularly great at this in real life and the head of the fbi is kash patel so this isn’t surprising

“aggressive foreign policy”

You’d think she’d be able to get a better wig.

CNN is moving fast to woo Madge onto the network

Oh so now being a soy boy is cool.

can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot

Definitely continue to legitimize this rotted-brain orange-man worshipper by giving him daily airtime.

I feel like we need a president who could kick a soccer ball without falling over.

The Republican Plan to kill kids is how we should be labeling this. It’s shocking, easy to digest, and 100% true

Beetch there’s more lakes than Somalians in Minnesota.

Strong floor, no ceiling.

We suck, but there’s no limit to how much we suck!

Autism scored a 0.93 on rear-propeller bicycle!

Imagine having to board a ship designed by the guy afraid of boats, water, and dogs.

(Another) Aide: sir, Turkey wants to invade Syria Trump: fantastic! They’re lucky A: umm, what? T: just in time for thanksgiving A: not turkeys, Turkey T: just one? Still delicious A: no, the country T: that doesn’t make any sense, you’re fired A:... T: FLY FREE TURKEY, AWAY TO SYRIA!

(An oldie from the bad place) Trump: You told me there’d be gravy! Aide: Mass graves T: but seared turkey A: again, the country, not the bird, and I said Syria T: so no seared turkey and gravy? A: no T: I’m going to sanction Turkey so hard. But not too hard. Erdogan is a good friend. Smart!

“Look out Bubba, here I come!”

A favorite of mine from the bad place, somehow still relevant.

🎶 Life is a mystery Everyone must stand alone I hear you call my name And it feels like home When you call my name, it's like a little prayer I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there In the midnight hour, I can feel your power Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there

she’s totally in the epstein files

Today would be a great day for Schumer to endorse Mamdani.

“He’s not Frank, he’s Donald!” is something a competent reporter would blurt at that moment. Alas, those don’t exist anymore.

Just the absolute smoothest brains.

[stares at 200+ years of capitalism] Yeah, no.

Reminder

Anyone who posts “MTG, welcome to the resistance” doesn’t get to vote in midterm primaries.

It is so funny that anyone thinks that anything will come of the latest Epstein stuff.

Dems went after Al Franken harder than they ever have or will go after Trump for being an adjudicated rapist and obvious pedo.

You do too, though

In that moment, a competent journalist would simply ask, “what are even talking about, fatso?”

Bitch you’ve been doing nothing for decades

Literally a Tupac lyric.

He was grabbing a bag to go hide the body in the park.

(South Dakota breaths a sigh of relief)

Pretty sure that’s just what border patrol agents smell like.

He watched that Netflix movie, didn’t he?

Bruce Harrell’s campaign is using a KUOW story to paint Katie Wilson as secretly rich. The problem? It isn’t true. Her parents only started helping with childcare this year, not her bills, and KUOW has since added context after refusing to correct the piece.

“ICE murder count climbs as Trump gleefully demolishes the White House” That’s an option too. It’s more accurate though so you probably don’t want to use it.