You couldn't publish this today. You'd have to cloak it under several layers of metaphor.

@pearlmania500.bsky.social I heard you utter a “Pronouns, pal!” during today’s @crashingoutshow.bsky.social episode. Was that a Vince McMahon reference?!

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He’s now a senior advisor at the Department of Justice. #staymad

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R.I.P. to Hulk. He was a great man who was frequently misunderstood but only acted the way he did because of the accident in that lab all those years ago. Wait, this isn’t about The Incredible Hulk but Hulk Hogan? Well never mind then, that guy can fuck off forever

Deeply disappointed that I can’t be out there with everyone today. This isn’t normal and we can’t let them forget. #NoKingsDay #staymad

1/ I spent many years working with soldiers & servicemembers, and some of them would get upset if you wished them a “happy” Memorial Day because it’s a day of remembrance with a specific purpose and being happy didn’t have anything to do with it. Not a huge number of them, but not a small one either

If he pulls a rosary, you pull a Eucharist. If he sends one of yours the Vatican, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way! #AmericanPope

Every time I see something on social media related to pro wrestling, I feel compelled to check the comments. And every time I am reminded why I should probably hate pro wrestling. And yet here I am, ready for Backlash on Saturday like some kind of goober.

It’s been over a month since I went to FLCBS and I *still* haven’t gotten my “lay-somewhere-comfy-and-read-my-damn-comics” day. Where are my priorities?

My last three skeets all involve my daughter and all end with me trailing off and failing to articulate my frustration and/or disbelief. One could argue that this is a sign of lazy writing. I instead contend that this pretty well sums up my experience of parenthood so far.

My daughter just spent the majority of Hey Jude shouting, “This is a BABY SONG! It’s a BABY SONG!” I have so much work to do…

My daughter came downstairs while I was watching Star Trek: Voyager and now I’m trying to explain time travel to a four-year-old. Just another Saturday morning in my house…

“Daddy, if I were you, sometimes I would just throw things.” There are days, kid. There are days…

If 43-year-old me had the same free time as 12-year-old me, I bet I’d be so much better at these.

Doing my patriotic duty and watching Captain America punch the President in the face.🇺🇸 #bravenewworld #presidentsday

My neighbor’s grandson drives a snowplow for the town, which is why her driveway looks like this at 6:30 in the morning. I’ve gotta get me one of those!

You know what I never hear about anymore? People striking out west to become prospectors. Those were the days, weren’t they?

I always heard that people who earn fame & fortune @ 30+ are much better at handling it than those who find it in their 20s or (god forbid) younger. I’ve been biding my time & even gave it an extra decade just in case, but I’m happy to announce that I am officially ready to be rich & famous.

I hope to one day have a career where I can fix a problem by rerouting the power or reversing the polarity. They have those jobs in Higher Ed, right?

CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. ORDER YOUR ABORTION PILLS NOW.

I mentioned #Bloodsport to my wife today and learned that not only has she never seen the movie, she’s never even HEARD of it. We’ve been married for six years. Together for 11. We have a CHILD together. It has never before occurred to me that I may have married the wrong woman…

I love a good cowboy movie, but the older I get, the harder I find it to root for wandering Confederate soldiers who turned into badass gunslinger heroes. Poor them, being forced by the evil North to give up the dream of owning another person.

The internet pop culture hive-mind is enraging. I can’t imagine growing up & feeling every opinion on something like Star Trek must be reviewed & approved by the Correct Answer Committee. I’m vulnerable enough to that groupthink as a 43 y/o. Can’t imagine being a teen or a young person. #oldmanrant

We'll drink a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne Hold onto your butts, everyone. Stay safe and be well in 2025!

The Captain America Comic Book Fans Podcast is my weekly dose of Star Spangled goodness. Show Rick and Bob some love!

@fabiannicieza.bsky.social Hi Fabian! I just came from your interview on the Captain America Comic Book Fans podcast! You’re always so thoughtful and honest about the characters you write and your experiences in the industry. Thank you for being so open with your fans!

Some fun Spotify wrapped stats: 86%: How many tracks artists say Spotify has demonetized on its platform. $0.004: How much the average artist makes per stream. US$114M: Spotify CEO's investment firm spending on AI military tech. $0: How much the intern who says she created Wrapped was paid.