Gracie’s Ice Cream will be closed Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week! Just letting you know. Brutalist architecture for the algo.

This is double serendipity because the @xkcd.com post looks like an ice cream cone.

The two best kinds of posts are 1. Real facts that sound fake. 2. Fake facts that sound real.

The solution is calling it scotch.

This makes me think about how orcas are sinking yachts and also about how there are multiple documented instances of orcas hunting and eating moose.

Just because you never see Predator put a spine back into someone doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Scientists have never observed eels reproduce, either. They just know the eels go into the Bermuda Triangle and babies come out.

Saw an immature bald eagle on Saturday at Fresh Pond. What an enormous fucking bird!!

*Brian Eggnog, a scribe in medieval England and the inventor of eggnog, puts down his quill and snuffs out the candle after a long day's work writing down shit on parchment. "Ahhhh, it's time for me to get absolutely shitfaced! But wait, I forgot my daily glass of milk. Hmmmmm."

like it weren't the whiskey what he were tryna savour

Art

Tech CEO reinventing robes: “and they’ll have AI.”

I’m gonna invent a clothes you can put on right after getting out of the shower so you don’t get cold in the winter and I’m gonna make a billion dollars.

When they changed the recipe for Kix and Honeycombs.

Aside from the typo at the end, pretty psyched how the advent calendar came out this year, and the response from the people who did it. If you need a really loud whistle, we’ve got a bunch at the shop for free.

New product idea inspired by this lucky two tea bags in one occurrence.

introduce yourself with what almost killed you hi I'm broken hot dog steamer

I don’t know what to tell you, It’s New Year’s Day until Monday.

Traditional New Year’s Day whiskey punch and chocolate cake, as is custom.

If you have a new year’s intention that’s like, “I’m gonna do ____ every day this year!” You can totally start any day up to and including Monday this year. I asked and they said it was fine. Don’t worry. There’s still time to be a completist. You got this!!

As a response to socialism, Somerville will replace Cambridge, Athol will replace Belchertown, Haverhill will replace Ware, Assonet will replace Tewksbury, and Worcester will replace Paris.

I made my first lemon pig. The ears are hard.

As a response to socialism, Somerville will replace Cambridge, Athol will replace Belchertown, Haverhill will replace Ware, Assonet will replace Tewksbury, and Worcester will replace Paris.

Have Lewandowski and Noem always been super Nazis, or did they just hire a bunch of them to run comms?

We’re open 12-5pm today to grab all your NYE pint needs, which I’m certain are myriad. I forgot what day it was so I’m telling you an hour late.

Free arcade games at Logan Airport is a new fun thing since last I was at the airport!

You could put on a punk basement show in here

Graphic design is a passion which is how I made this image of an ice cream pie on a tshirt to remind you that now through the end of the year if you buy an ice cream pie you get a free tshirt. This is also an effort to sell more than the $44.70 we sold yesterday. Gotta do more than that!

There are some places with good pizza and some places with bad pizza and it doesn’t matter which is which because all pizza is good. Cheeseburgers and egg sandwiches are also good. So is cake. Pie? Good! Chicken parm? Good! Ice cream? Fucking great.

This is range.

You know what movie made no money and had a huge cultural impact? 1985's Enemy Mine featuring Dennis Quaid and Lou Gossett Jr.

The Massachusetts version of this bill raised more billions of dollars than it expected and no one actually left. California should do it and be legends.

Tried a new recipe for Christmas morning cinnamon buns and it worked though it had like 4 times the icing it needed.

The biggest empty market basket parking lot ride yet!

The weirdest way anyone has ever bragged about having Little Debbie's seasonal special snacky treat, the Christmas Tree Cakes.

anyway if you were at the Somerville Market Basket Christmas Day Parking Lot Bike Ride, this is me. I had the purple Townie e-bike with the flags on the back. thank you @brianliberge.bsky.social for the donuts and hot cocoa, @unlikelywords.bsky.social for organizing, and everyone for showing up!

TODAY TODAY TODAY SOOOOOOOON

@sifu.tweety.fish want any creme brûlée or cinnamon buns during the bike ride?

You can just make your own creme brûlée, who is going to stop you?

I love my phone because it adds the perfect accent symbols for "Creme Brûlée" despite me ever typing it, but any time I type "and" it autocorrects it to "AJ's" something I have typed three times.

Market Basket and Gracie’s? Two of my favorite things!!

Manager at Market Basket was clearing the Christmas candies by shouting into the PA for five minutes straight about how every item was $0.50. Not 50% off. MB wants the holiday stuff GONE. Love being here with everyone today, amateur and pro Market Basket shoppers together as one. Community!

See y’all tomorrow at 11am. It’d be nice to get a big group, so tell your pals who like rolling around on bikes, skateboards, roller skates, scooters, unicycles, etc.

tfw it's the penultimate night of @unlikelywords.bsky.social's ice cream advent calendar and you and @katmoonepi.bsky.social have some catching up to do

OK, regular hours today and 12-5pm on Christmas Eve. Also anyone who buys a pie from now until 5pm tomorrow gets a free tshirt with their pie. We’ve still got some of the festive holiday pints left and if you need a last minute online gift order a custom haiku written by yours truly.

As a person professionally able to judge this post on its merit, I approve.

It's possible the DOJ is faking evidence of one famous pedophile writing a letter to another famous pedophile claiming the president is a pedophile intending to discredit other evidence claiming the president is a pedophile, but I would argue that in order for that to work it concedes the point.

If you watch Home Alone with your kids, make sure they understand the true meaning.

This is on Thursday by the way. Forgot to mention that. Can you come?

👀 something to do on Thursday morning