I know internet trolls are a thing - I see it... But I can't understand spending precious time spewing hate into the void, only to make someone's day worse. If this is you: go to fucking therapy, sit in the sun, drink some water. Do literally anything else.

Superiority is the opposite of the point.

I need an internet restraining order for people I'm aggressively indifferent to. Today's blacklist: Candace Cameron-Bure and the Kardashian industrial complex. I don't wish them harm—I just want their content to never assault my eyeballs again.

3 things bringing me joy today (in no particular order and with no additional notes): 1.) Hummingbirds 2.) Skinny Pop Popcorn 3.) My onCloud Tennis Shoes* *Are we saying sneakers these days or tennis shoes? Please advise.

Formal petition to change the name of Mother’s Day to: Not your mother for today, day. Signed, all overstimulated and tired mothers.

If you love your library, listen up…

Ladies with two X chromosomes and 35+ candles on the cake: Dr. Mary Claire Haver just blew my mind on Armchair Expert. Finally, someone can explain why our bodies feel like they're staging a rebellion. Listen ASAP: armchairexpertpod.com/pods/mary-cl...

I always thought I’d be the chill “just have fun” mom when it came to my kids in sports. Turns out I was wrong. Move your feet. For the love of all that is holy SHOOOOT the damn ball. RUUUN. Why are you feet not moving… water breaks aren’t for sitting. … I’m not proud of the sport mom I become.

I need to understand what kind of demons possess the parents with kids that show up to the airport at 4AM with full make up and a level of energy like they're on something illegal. Meanwhile, I rolled out of bed 15 minutes before my Lyft, one eye closed, looking like the crypt keeper.

I need an extra sense to tell me when my friends and family are up for the day. Early morning flights are much less enjoyable when I can’t participate in my codependent text threads. And, nothing kills friendship faster than a 4 AM "you up?” … Because I need an audience.

I just finished @designmom.bsky.social's "The Kids Are All Right." It has lots of great ideas to consider and is honestly such a breath of fresh air when it comes to thinking about parenting in this world. I really appreciated their perspective. Highly recommend. designmom.com/book-the-kid...

Ask yourself: Why would anyone who wasn’t an asset of the Russian government do this? Why would any decent human being do this?

This is my third attempt at a blood draw in a week. These labs must have also been hit by DOGE because apparently there’s an insane shortage and the people that are here don’t deserve a living wage. But we have the best medical system in the world… As we all wait 2.5 hours for bloodwork.

I didn’t realize I had strong opinions about eating chips in public, but here we are. Waiting for a blood draw. Packed waiting room. Woman next to me is loudly crunching down on some kettle chips. Crinkle - crinkle - crunch - crunch - crunch. Fold bag. Unfold bag. Repeat. My skin is on fire.

Just got this text from a friend -- guess I've turned into a Nathan Evans influencer. You heard it here first.

The only things getting me through the start of the day. Cold brew + Nathan Evan’s shanties/jams. You could call this gaming my mental health since RFKJR wants to fuck with all the other tools to help. 🤔

If our cheetoh in chief cuts support for our most vulnerable, I fully expect churches to pick up the slack. I've heard for years, "the government isn't supposed to care for the people, the churches are." Would love the address for the church accepting all the bills we can't pay.

Need to settle your nervous system? Same here. We weren't built for endless chaos. Try Nathan Evans—his sea shanties are like a weighted blanket for your ears. Ireland, will you take me in? Ancestry says I belong, and I clearly don't belong here.

Every "please stay for 1-minute" video I've watched is a testament to how thoroughly we've normalized digital begging for basic human needs. One minute of my time to help someone escape abuse, secure medical care, find shelter, or eat. And I watch. Every. Single. Time.

I'm in a benevolent mood. If you want to upgrade your morning coffee and stave off the existential dread that creeps in with consciousness... May I recommend the Chobani White Chocolate Raspberry creamer. It's single-handedly, preventing my descent into the void. #recommendationsyoudidntaskfor

My @lovecraftscom.bsky.social yarn order just landed. 🙌 About to embark upon a waffle stitch blanket for my next project... while I escape listen to #IronFlame for the second time.

A quick reminder on this lovely Thursday. Elon Musk did a Sieg Heil at the inauguration. We officially have unelected N*zi's working in our top level of government.

I’m not a scientist, but with five plane crashes and three plane touches in the past three weeks, I have to believe that DEI was the only thing keeping airplanes safe. Maybe we should bring it back?

I've always had a contentious relationship with changing my name when I got married... If this passes, I'll be changing it back. I'm 0% fucking around on this. www.newsweek.com/married-wome...

Why do we find 'cute little old men' so endearing? Is it because age transforms our perception of masculinity, shifting from potential threat to affection? I'm curious when the threat ends and cute begins -- 70? 80?

Trump's back to his original hair after that December hairstyle experiment. That brief style change was like 2020's murder hornets - showed up, caused panic, and then vanished.

Since we are all experiencing what feels like day 487 of January, can whoever is in charge of these things wrap it up? We're ready to be done.

Speaking of chips -- watched a man at my kid's swim lessons bust out Fritos, which feels like one of the least sexy chips possible. The aggressive corn smell basically screams "I've given up on impressing anyone today." Got me thinking... what's the sexy hierarchy of chips? 🤔

As an aside from watching the world burn... My current tortilla chip hyperfixation: La Favorita. The rest are mostly trash.

Trump and Musk truly running the government like they run their businesses: through wage theft and ignoring payments they're on the hook for

The swamp is looking very swampy

(1/4) After reading today's newsletter by @sharonsaysso.bsky.social, I read the full "I've Been To The Mountaintop" speech by MLK. It stunned me. bit.ly/IveBeentothe... I'll leave you with two highlights.

Donald Trump just took an oath to "preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States" on the same day he will try to end birthright citizenship, a constitutional right

I wish I was as good at predicting lottery ticket numbers as am I at predicting when my kids will be sick. Long weekend - sick Big holiday event - sick Trip planned - sick Work event you can’t miss - sick I can see it coming a mile (or a month) away.

I’ve been in my thoughts and feels about the TikTok ban. It came, it went, something feels off… my FYP is off. I fear it will never be quite the same. RIP OG TT.

In Georgia, a mom facing eviction reached out to DFCS for help. They offered her nothing. Soon the agency took her kids away because of "inadequate housing." The state then paid *$6,200 a month* to house her kids in foster care. One of the most important and infuriating stories I read this year:

Dropping this here... in case anyone wonders why we have a social security insolvency issue. Maybe we tax them for, say, a whole week each year rather than just 19 minutes? www.forbes.com/sites/teresa... Thanks for the suggestion #heathercraven.

Someday I’ll learn to check if a series is complete before starting the first book. Today is not that day, and waiting 18 months for the next book is my villain origin story.

In that phase of starting a goals bingo card, two different journals I won't finish and a crochet project -- not because it's a new year, but simply to help me endure this season we call winter.

I haven't posted on a social media platform in almost 3 years. Can someone point me in the direction of where to add the picture of what I had for lunch?