I usually have zero morality, but I have a moral problem.

(not understanding how it works) for April Fools Day I'm going to kill you

We're watching The Carpenter's Son, and Mayo is SO INTO IT. He's glued to the screen. Never seen him that interested in any film. Mayonnaise discovers faith via Nic Cage.

Work colleague told me he thought he saw me in the shop last weekend, but decided that it couldn't have been me, since I was accompanied by a woman (Nat). I'm not sure he was implying that I'm too ugly to have a partner, or that he thinks I'm gay.

Official statement re: Dan Bongino

Stupidass courier dumped my parcel somewhere, and I can't find it, so I'm getting a refund for the item. If my neighbour shows up with my lost order, tough tits.

I don’t think we should go back to twitter levels of toxicity but there’s a lot of confidently stupid turbolib opinions on here that can only exist in a low predator environment.

I used a power drill for the first time today, and successfully installed a cat safety net on the balcony. I feel like I've levelled up as a man.

Didn't mute myself for a meeting. Everyone heard me saying two fucks in quick succession, bitching about the organiser changing meeting details a minute before it started. Now excuse me while I walk into traffic.

Got so caught up in a conversation about technicalities of sex scenes in literature, I kinda didn't even register they gave me a pay rise and a bonus at work. Material goods mean nothing in the face of smut.

Nat: When on standby, why not have a wank.

Nat is this fascinating type of person, that she pretty much has Schrödinger's intelligence. She's both very smart, and very dumb simultaneously, and I love this about her.

People who create adult art - do you think it's weird to share it with your friends (with consent of course)?

I just had gay smut sent to me from a psychiatric hospital. Not many people can flex something like that.

The pain doesn't stop. They have now fed the AI my photographs, and I looked into the dead eyes of the digital skin walker wearing my face.

Me, a dedicated genAI hater, a warrior for sustainability, watching my family send AI generated photographs of themselves as film characters, in the family group chat.

The absolute tragedy of having to write management procedures, when you want to write smut.

As a species, I think we deserve to go extinct, solely because we somehow managed make the stupidest nation on this planet a superpower.

I have watched this approximately 47 times and laughed out loud 47 times

The thrill of grabbing a baby tooth your kitten just spat out, before it manages to devour it.

Ever since I saw the tits scene in Iron Lung, I've been going through a major self-image crisis, which can only be cured by hitting the gym.

Big fan of the new unicorn Spinosaurus, ngl.

You don't hire a sustainability guy to be normal during working hours.

Really hoping HR will not be contacting me for blurting out "Elon Musk should be shot dead" during a meeting.

For a person who enjoys social interaction with other humans, I have staggeringly terrible social skills.

Nat, while watching me play the final boss battle in Death Stranding 2, where you battle a guy, you both use electric guitars that can shoot as a weapon, with a gigantic baby watching you in the background: I wish I was high while experiencing this.

Pundit: The left isn’t ever excited about new tech Me: Holy shit! The left doesn’t like renewable energy sources? Pun: LOL no...no not those technologies Me: So....e-bikes? Pun: Haha no not those either Me: Which tech, exactly? Pun: Oh, you know the one

We recently started taking propranolol (old people hell ye) and it turns out, two people can have vastly different experiences on the same medication. We literally are like this now.

Me today.

I'm pretty sure a combination of a blunt, heart medication, and a glass of fancy rose wine does wonders to my blood pressure.

"government ends work-from-home for civil servants" is just a short way of saying "government decides to make your already-unbearable commute at least forty-seven times more excruciating to make sure their donors never miss out on a single dime in commercial real estate profits"

Downstairs neighbours left all their windows open and fucked off somewhere. It's freezing outside, so our place is obnoxiously cold because of that. I'm considering calling in a favour with my ex-gangster neighbour who offered to "deal with" people if they bother me.

oh my god??

To this day, I have no idea what does being a quarterback mean, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

I just wanna know why anyone is complaining about "degenerate" art while we're currently loading Hitler 2.0

When we overthrow the tech bros I only want monster fuckers and furry porn artists running the internet and tech.

Nat is enjoying Heated Rivalry, because it is "a really good gay porn with a plot that's a bit more complex than the usual plummer scenario".

Day 2 of a lethal headache. The only thing that helps is being in the shower. I might just walk into the sea and never come back.

My cats are always so thrilled when I take a nap during the day. They basically go "oh fuck yeah, Father is engaging in our culture, let's pile up on him!".

I'm on a conference in Edinburgh today, and the fact that I paid 5 quid for a bagel is making me unreasonably angry.

We're watching Shyamalan's Trap, and we're obsessed. The paper-thin plot. The random British FBI lady. The ad for the director's daughter music. The amount of fake endings that would make Lord of the Rings blush. Kino.

"aren't you being a little mean? it's just some ai." No. We can be meaner. Harsher. More demonic. More diabolical. Humiliate harder. Throw alley-oops and dunk on their pathetic attempts to masquerade as a creative person.

If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I'm spending money on, is a good psychiatrist. I want to know what the fuck is wrong with me.

Keir Stramer should be ripped apart by a pack of feral Scotsmen.

In 2019 the world entered the state of perpetual free fall towards annihilation. Also in 2019, I started HRT. Maybe my parents were right. Maybe the world will indeed end because I refused to be a girl.