Cannot believe that when they were handing out ADHD and being on the spectrum they forgot to include my magic 6th sense and superpower ability to instantly read and determine everyone's character.

Someone out there decided it would be a good idea to put a German Shepherd in charge of babysitting a bunch of Doberman puppies and they were 100% correct

“The DNC should not be a useless or irrelevant institution,” says Ross Morales Rocketto, a Dem strategist. “It’s currently irrelevant because of the leadership.”

Breaking! The full 2024 election autopsy commissioned by the Democratic Party has been leaked, which I've posted below:

Or you could, IDK, stop utterly alienating your formerly loyal middle class liberal customer base by deep throating fascist boot so much the toe pokes out your asshole?

Is this a threat?

Going back in time to 1884 and asking a woman living on a farm or working in a clothing factory to come back to the present with me to show all the women of my time how to twirl their hair and be "carefree."

60% of Americans: "The war in Iran is bad, we really hate it and we're fucking sick of it." Establishment Dems: "If we were in charge our war would be much bigger and more expensive and much deadlier, please elect us, thank you."

So like a huge chunk of men in America voted for a senile pedophile for president three times and have active gambling accounts and use a website about how to rape women, this doesn't seem to bode that well for this country as a whole.

The real point of having a spouse or a partner isn't love or companionship or raising kids or any of that, it's so that when you go to brunch, one of you can order a savory item and one of you can order a sweet item and then you can eat off each other's plates and get the best of all worlds.

"How are you against being abducted and dropped off in a foreign country somewhere to fend for yourself but then you're sad when the international trip you planned has to get cancelled??"

That Israeli settler hearing his government insist that he's so hideous it's anti-Semitic to share his picture:

Establishment Dems trying to drum up enthusiasm for their awful dogshit candidate that people don't like:

Kinda wild that the left got gun rights, football and Catholicism in the national divorce.

The Israeli government responding to the announcement of a cease fire between the U.S. and Iran:

Me when I say Donald Trump should be tried for war crimes and some dipshit asks me "Oh? So I suppose OBAMA and BIDEN should be tried as a war criminal as well, huh?":

Convinced the dipshit that wrote this owns stock in an orthopedic surgery clinic & is looking to clean up on the uptick in carpal tunnel syndrome caused by the dismissive wanking gestures everyone's doing.

Terminally online leftists sneering about No Kings protests was cute at first but we're at the 5th one now with no change need y'all to stop whining and start being the fucking change you want to see in the world.

Rob Schneider desperately trying to cling to one last single shred of cultural relevancy:

"The paramount objective of me stealing this woman's purse is to get this woman to stop screaming that I'm stealing her purse."

We're gonna need a smaller violin.

Interesting that Chappell Roan has seemed to receive more Internet outage over a security guard she didn't employ or control hurting a rich child's feelings than the Israeli government has gotten for committing genocide and ethnic cleansing and endless atrocities against Palestinian children.

New Subaru Outback is one of the worst auto design updates in recent memory, looks like absolute shit now.

Nobody: My 6YO getting ready to pee all over the toilet seat, the top of the toilet, the toilet base, the floor under the toilet, the trash can next to the toilet and just anything in the general vicinity of the toilet:

Me circa 2010 getting ready to go live in the U.K. and eat English food for four months:

Just being a parent and looking at your kid being fucking weird in the same way you're fucking weird and think "Yeah dude, you got that from me, sorry about that one."

Me as a 20YO if a woman offered me sex: "HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA AWOOOOGA!" 21% of 20YO dudes today, apparently: "Gay."

Look, I know her replacement (Senator Mullin) won't be any better, and that Noem is unlikely to ever face any real consequences, but this is still absolutely humiliating for her and is absolutely going to lower her happiness and quality of life, and I'm gonna celebrate the small victories.

Just fantastic that so much of the "opposition" parties response to funding a clearly illegal war started by Trump because Bibi has an unquenchable bloodlust to turn all of Tehran into a smoking pile of ashes is "You know, whatever."

Target CEO is desperately clinging to his last little bit of hair as hard as Target is clinging to helping ICE terrorize brown people.

They've spent 18 months torching every shred of goodwill they spent decades carefully cultivating with their core customer base of middle class progressives, to appeal to MAGA chuds that will despise them no matter what, and these dipshits think all they need is an aesthetic redesign, LOL.

Democrats by and large are going to be have to dragged kicking and screaming into no longer supporting apartheid and genocide. The public opinion winds have shifted dramatically, but dipshits like Crockett simply aren't going to process the message until they're run out of office.

The Trump administration when they realized the government of Iran had a robust succession plan for their 86YO head of state and that assassinating him wouldn't immediately topple the entire regime and spontaneously replace it with a pro-Trump stooge:

@penaltyloop.bsky.social Just wanted to say: thanks for all the Olympics coverage. My partner and I love listening to you two, and getting extra Penalty Loop throughout the Olympics really added to the experience!

NYPD officers walking past an elementary school with giggling 6-year-olds having a snowball fight on the playground:

NYPD officer after getting lightly booped with a snowball:

This is the culture Elon Musk is completely obsessed with ensuring retains eternal cultural hegemony in the United States.

Me when Obama and Clinton show up talking about how ICE aren't terrorizing immigrants and throwing them in cages and deporting them the "right" way like they did:

"So much for the tolerant left!" Leftists:

Just one of the absolutely funniest all-time own goal moments for the Zionist movement.

Potential silver lining to like half of all Super Bowl commercials being about AI: the last time we saw this happen it was all the cryptocurrency and FTX ads in 2022 and like shortly after that FTX imploded and the crypto market crashed, so...here's to holding out hope for a repeat.

Get in loser, we're bringing back late 19th to early 20th century racism against Italians.

Kamala Harris spent her entire campaign talking about how she'd be tougher on the border than Donald Trump & making sure everyone knew how much she hated immigrants - do you see how much trying to out-Trump Trump is doomed to absolute failure? Maybe try not being a xenophobic ghouls next time, Dems.

"I'm On Fire" is a song about a fling with a married woman (as opposed to a song where he unambiguously says he says wants to fuck underage girls). He should've posted every single song that uses the word "baby" to refer to a lover while he was at it.

Feels like we Millennials have officially passed the torch now that Gen Z are the ones getting lectured about how they could own a house if they simply stopped buying Starbucks.

Yeah, if women keep bad mouthing ICE, then cops might not show up 6 hours later when a woman calls about a home break in to scribble notes for 10 seconds & leave, or tell women who have gotten a dozen graphic death threats from the same guy that there's nothing they can do until she's murdered.