The Special One™️

“ooooweeee, look what that money make a bitch do”

Geminis keep negativity and evil out your life

Post a villain you love

Nothing annoys me like that tbh…

Easiest 700mil I'd ever make😂

She say take it easy I will do the work

Eating cereal and watching midnight gospel

Asked me for a pen first day of school like I’m ever prepared for anything😂

Anytime i see somebody saying "My God don't play about me" 99.9% of the time they are absolute demons.

I FED UP UH THESE RASSHOLEEEEE MILLEPEDES NOW!! Fuck.

Me to my mother: I had something to do for you? My mother: if you stop drinking you’d remember. I’m both sober and confused😭

May the lord have mercy on my liver

I drink henny and brandy now I tipsy and I ain’t even get to my family lunch yet🥲

Vacation just flying then wtf

I went to my ham cutter spot and the woman tell me it’s Christmas I should have ham cutters home, you want my money or not?

And eating ham cutters!

Work Christmas party going down and everybody calling me as I conveniently miss every call cause I on vacation🫠

I watching snaps of the staff party with my foot up at home and wondering if I feel like actually showing up🥲

The sun up dawg😭

One salary ain’t shit in this country.

I drive past and see people park on both sides of the main road, going in there is madness😂

It’s official I have the back of an 80 year old🥲

if you treated people the way you want to be treated it’d be reciprocated.

11, I pretty tame

Fellas.. I promise you women actually enjoy normal ass conversations. Calm tf down Quagmire

Pee your hardest too

My dog adds his to his toy pile and puts them back if I move them🥲

ATP you can’t defend or rationalize other niggas just gotta shrug and be appalled

Straight to the point…buddy know what he wants

I love freaks

I quote this word for word to myself when I’m having a bad day

I made sure to call HR first thing this morning cause if I start my vacation by going to work I’d be pissed

Privacy!

Seasoned please. Whores >>>>

I don’t get how people are nostalgic for the past, everything was worse then, I mean things are bad still but not that bad. Maybe that’s why people go back to their exes🤔

How are you cutting grass at 8:30 at night?

You waiting late, start crashing the ones this year 😂

Fr , put me as a plus 1

Will I come back from vacation to go to my staff party? Time will tell😂

7

People ask why I’m not rushing to have children, this is why😂

After payday pressure makes diamonds