@littleramstudio.bsky.social was thinking of you

Now if all the 20 million BlueSky users will re post this post it would be utterly marvellous. The counter is ready to start, so off you all go! Handmade prints available here> littleramstudio.etsy.com *sits with expectations of lots of noughts next to post* #art

I don't know how to say this, but with great sadness and a very heavy heart it is Heather's Funeral tomorrow, Tuesday 4th March, Heather would want you all to raise a large glass of something strong to celebrate her life. x

Gary here, My sweet Heather died in the early hours of this morning. The Whisky is kicking in big time! This THING, this INFECTION, they don't know what it was? KILLED my lovely Heather. She couldn't move or speak to me, we just made eye contact. I want to die.

...Extreme tiredness but can't sleep. Catheter was removed and now refitted! Mobility bad, although she does fidgit a lot. When you enter Hospital you leave your dignity at the door! My poor Heather, I love her so much! Will keep you posted. x

... she asked the Nurse ''am I dying'', the nurse patted her knee & reassured her ''no you are not dying''. Rash & puffiness still about, Doctor's keeping a close eye on everything! Nose bleed & Platelets low. Temp too low. Diarrhroea off the scale!....

Gary here, sorry about the delay on update, so much to do, paranoid cats driving me daft! Heather had rest of infusion, she's had a food tube fitted, not good but necessary, Dietician watching over her, she had to have oxygen last night, couldn't breathe...

Gary here, Heather's had the Donor Cells today, 3 bags, just over an hour (more to come tomorrow). She's like a new born baby. Doctors concerned about water retention, in Heather's words: I look like a Pufferfish! Ha! She's doing well. Exhausted & extremely tired. I miss her.

Day 0 - transplant day!! Everyone cross fingers xxx

Gary here, 12.30 am, it's day zero, day of the transplant. Heather is feeling pretty shit at the moment, Cannula came out, blood everywhere, Doctor fits new one, didn't work, fucking blood everywhere again! Temp is good 36.6! Rash is slowly getting better. Awaiting infusion.

Hi Gary here again, 1.41 in the morning, just spoke to Heather, she's fighting the fight, under ICU and critical care nurse! Struggling but temp & rash moving in the right direction. Doctor is quietly confident. (What the fuck does that mean?). God I love her so much!

I'm alive but not kicking. Very bad night, this is when they swipe me into nothing. X

Hi it's Gary here. I'm sat next to Heather, she's tired but OK. Rash is now full body, she looks like she's fallen asleep in full sun for the day!

Day - 4 of chemo and I'm slowly slowing down while it kills off everything floating around in my blood stream. Can still eat, just. I'll try and post daily but if I can't then Gary will step in with quick updates. x

New pj's! Flower sprigs, although the maroon does bring out my chemo rash. 🙄

Rough night, no sleep. Temperature spiked - chemo related but they still have to put you on high alert. Loads of bloods + hooked up to IV all night. Mad rash now covering upper body! Having a tea & biscuits to get me going. Onwards, though slowly...

Another very handsome doctor! This is doing nothing for my blood pressure.

Friday lunch. Cheese and onion pasty with pasta salad. The pasty was akin to a trip to Greggs, the pasta salad nice. I didn't order any gravy and nor did I use it. Pud strawberry ice cream. 6/10

Everything redressed and cleaned, arm feels better, phew.

Yesterday I asked for a tube cuff to cover my PICC line. They put me in a too small size which by bed time I had to wrestle off! My arm is more bruised & very painful today 😫

Chemo tiredness is creeping in. There may be naps ahead.

Dawn is a subdued affair. One blushing strip peeping over the horizon.

Day -5 of the chemo bashing. Still feel OK. Only vague sign of chemo is a small rash on my decolletage, will get the Dr's on it pronto. Friday dragged its heels, the weekends are always quiet, which is great. Onwards...

More Jackdaws back in stock, grab 'em while you can! Limited Edition Linocut Prints, supplied ready for framing. Find them in our lovely little online art shop here> littleramstudio.etsy.com #shopsmall #BuyArt

Thursday tea, an hour late! Cauliflower, broccoli and pasta bake, peas and wedge potatoes. Pud chocolate sponge. Microwaved hard the pasta had practically turned back to flour paste. I sifted out the cauliflower and 1 spring of broccoli. Pud not good. 4/10

Finished Grace Dent's Hungry. It was an amuse bouche.

2nd chemo in and swirling around. Eating orange smarties whilst I still fancy them.

Just added a couple more of Heather's Haworthia prints if anyone is after an everlasting plant. Limited edition linocut print supplied ready for framing, find it in our lovely little online art shop here> littleramstudio.etsy.com If you've a free minute do have a wander, our numbers are down.

Want a wig. No. Will I wear hats. No. Eyebrow raises, what will you wear? My head. A stare. I'm really not bothered about losing my hair. I know how terrifying it is to lose it, I was one of those people. I wear my head as my 'Fuck this' T-shirt & I'm not covering it. So stare. I'll stare back.

Making a list for Gary to add to the food delivery. Soreen, cashews, Dole fruit in tubs, Rachel's yoghurt and Bonne Maman lemon tarts all individually wrapped. Here comes the soft foods, apart from the nuts which are some of the good ones.

First morning my big picture window has condensation on its exterior. Makes dawn viewing misty.

Day - 6 of industrial strength chemo. Apart from bruised arm I'm feeling OK. The tablet count is going up, last night I was handed another cup full. Stitches on neck are itching, they should dissolve soon. Onward...

Wednesday tea. Cheese and onion pie, sans onion. Broccoli boiled to 10 seconds before turning into soup. And carrots, butter model's own. Pud apple sponge with custard that was cornflour with a hint of vanilla. 4/10 Remember this is what privatised food looks like.

Going to get Gary to put 3 x Birthday cakes on the Sainsburys delivery. He'll bring them with him on Sunday & we'll treat the nurses. Asked Amy the Staff Nurse if it was allowed and she said hell yes!

Shall we all go down the pub have a game of arrows, split open various packets of crisps on the table as a free for all and drink something long and cool. Can you tell I'm a bit bored with today, read lots, listened to Italian lesson & window shopped on websites. Still onwards and upwards...

Blackbird has been hovering around most of the afternoon. And just found this - Wendy Pratt discussing a 'found poem' from her book Blackbird Singing at Dusk via Nine Arches Press. (Love the cover - from Gary and Heather @littleramstudio.bsky.social ) ninearchespress.blogspot.com/2024/11/in-c...

First lot of chemo IV'd in. It's off to nuke anything it can get a grasp of in my blood stream.

One of the nursing assistants, sweet Chinese young man, took my obs & then asked if I wanted anything else, slight hesitation, then he said, like a comb!!! My hair is dyed blond bat shit crazy as a fashion statement. Think he could hear me roaring with laughter from the corridor.

The small bucket of various pills and potions have been proffered *rattles*

New set of pj's with flash of hot pink vest.

Dawn is all daubs of deep salmon swept over the horizon, quink ink blue frayed clouds above with pockets of washed apricot breaking through.

Apart from feeling like a frisky pony visited in the night and kicked my arm I'm feeling fine. Today is official Day -7, so the chemo cometh. So it's farewell to my hair again & hello baldy. It's also when Gary will say 'shut up Sinead' at every opportunity - Deadpool quote for Marvel fans.

From now on my bloods will be taken every morning at 5.45am. Never be fooled into thinking that you can sleep in a hospital. I've also had a maintenance man in to take water samples from sinks and shower. It's all about the germs. 👾

Tuesday tea horror! My journey into kosher food ends here. Omelette, rosti, veggie sausage and there was meant to be a mushroom sauce. After a bite of each it was a big no. Have resorted to cheese on oatcakes. 0/10

Guess who has a pic line?! I got told by Doctor it would be fitted tomorrow am but Gary had gone in from his angle had phoned consultant secretary and said he was getting worried. Within 10 minutes I had a pic line fitting crew in my room. Never stay quiet folks.

I can usually stretch a copy of Private Eye to the issue of the next one. #ReadIt

Think there may have been a miscalculation in the pants required working out column. #KnickerWorries

Tuesday lunch. Fish finger sandwich with coleslaw. No butter on bread, had to use my own. Not fond of white bread, so like a fussy four year old I left the crusts. Pud mandarins. 5/10

I must not talk the hind legs off the nurses. I'll be getting a reputation. 🤭

Chat with doctor, she is chasing up pic line for me. The lack of it is making me get jittery not to mention my poor 'little only one left' good vein.