“Telling the truth is a belly rub.” Netflix spent upwards of $200 million on Wake Up Dead Man but won’t pay for a human to provide or check (or both) subtitles that don’t turn the script into nonsense.

Nothing will prepare you for Chase, the totally normal guy from all those Hallmark Christmas movies.

“This is a move that sucks.” god bless zac oyama

i’m so sorry emily of 7 months ago. cry club announced a date at least

mfw we don’t got everything everything tomorrow :(

anybody else’s dead parents call them on their work phone in their dream last night or just me

the sudden and truly devastating realization that my week and a half of vacation is over and I actually have to get up and get ready for work today

drinking flat whites in the airport Just For The Bit and they gave @cilliaaan.bsky.social a defective lid so theyre going in raw

using my one daily allotted half hour of free travelodge wifi to post 9 pictures of jonathan higgs to instagram and then going back to t-mobile’s black abyss of shit signal. doesn’t matter if something’s unlimited when the limitless thing is Bad huh

been meh/undecided on the get 2 heaven merch apparel but I really wanted to get SOMEthing and I realized the obvious solution is: get the white one with the blue text/graphic and dye it in the gradient™, *duh*

nottingham G2H gig really just was philadelphia RDF gig (english version), i genuinely lost track of where I was on the globe for part of it

A DANGEROUS CAULDRON

🐊 𝗡𝗢 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗦 🐊

we’ve said “labubu seppuku” an unconscionable number of times today

in a fit of hysterics because i got a charley horse and squawked about it and my english friends did NOT know what the fuck I was talking about dhfksks and I was just so pitifully like “oh no do you not call them that?? 🥺🥺 do I sound absolutely insane right now ??” I’m crying it’s 2:30am

me but i’m taking the poison damage specifically By going to that thing on purpose <3

My coworker sent me a picture of Motherlover at a bookstore… with a handwritten recommendation from my friend from another Discord who works at that bookstore. 🥰

Accepting the reality that this orange nail polish is Not going to cover up the blue hair dye that stained its way all over my right hand and that’s okay 🫡👍

Why are there no water bottle fill stations in any of these airports and also atlanta your water fountain water tastes like tin shit

There is a video advertisement kiosk panel type thing right across from my gate at the airport playing some kind of package™ about Anxiety™ on a loop and it sucks so bad and I’m pretty over it lmao

final hair tszuj/touch-up before my trip… blue dye’s last hurrah

Teach your rabbit TM035 Flamethrower. You can do this right now. It's free and easy. There are no downsides to teaching your rabbit how to perform Flamethrower.

Does someone who doesn’t have work today PLEASE want to go get me some cat litter 😭 help

Remove the not so swag shit from ur life

I need a time quangle where everyone’s playing a character who killed their dad

ohhh the caffeine-as-self-medication is hitting tonight

archiveofourown.org/works/729660... EVERYONE IS READING THIS RIGHT ??? It’s sooooo good I love my rowdy boys* (*gendy neutch this includes freyja)

in my dream last night i encountered the spanish term “los zubreguches” and I was like, I don’t know what that means. ? and then I googled it when I woke up and it’s fully not a word at all. dream me was just cooking syllables I guess

it happened again!! I’m gonna set up a counter

Spelling Bee wouldn’t accept ‘gharial’ ?? MEAN TO HIM???

caught up on CR4 through episode 5, basically finished my embroidery project, AND someone drew fanart of a fic I wrote, just a real banner fandom day for ol’ pli

Mike at the Etna post office is the nicest dude alive, literally I will not send mail from anywhere else, he just gave me a $4 box for free 🥺

Help, It’s Again

Nothing like opening an ingram box and it’s just full of freida mcfadden and captain underpants

I actually don’t care if you “don’t usually like second person POV fics but—“ You liked mine, clearly, so you actually didn’t need to say this

just played a very thrilling speed round of Codenames where the clue “PISS (3)” clinched us a resounding victory

fyi if we haven’t talked about it already: my mom is splitting from her miserable husband. Divorce will be final later this month. Beam her all of your kindness and send him all of your period cramps forever

wealwell gotch send tweet

the big post-gig group photos I have from 11/22 in LA are soooo important and special to me and I am rly gonna need the same but from Manchester this time plssss 🥲

a return to Get to Heaven for hallowEEn this year, in honor of its anniversary 💜❤️🧡💛 #everythingeverything #gettoheaven

classic bus shit of a woman behind me telling a LOUD narrative with WAY too much explicit detail (people pulling guns on each other, creating and deleting multiple fb pages, baby mama drama) vs an elderly chinese couple trying to listen to a speakerphone call in the front seats…. Da City

Tubi’s Quibi

Look at him

Driving home from shooting my Halloween costume photos and feeling so tired and busted and seeing my fave food truck parked at the bottom of my street is the nicest thing the universe has gifted me all week 😭🙏

Correctly predicting a month+ ago that Wealwell would have a romance moment won me a free drink ticket lmao

Bro I’m sooooo sad tonight is the last ep of Cloudward Ho 😭😭 I’ve muttered “what does adventure mean to me - e v e r y t h i n g” like 6 times today already

wah my lavender toner smelled like bubble gum :O