ooqɐʞǝǝd

i no longer care to consume content if it doesnt have feathers or make a noise like a sealion

WOIMSDAY

wait but what if “boots!” is a reference to the pharmacy. in the airport

ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be normal on the internet

( | ) 🙈

simp behaviour

coconut is a mid flavour

space is a psyop

i have also returned from the moon

not a thought in there

its me

the girlies are performing aggressive haikus

*listening to Gonna Get Better by bss in 2026* oh. Oh sweet summer child

So jealous that those people going to the moon get to have a break from earth

Rejoice. The age of being young, dumb and full of cum is over. The era of being old, cold and full of mold has begun.

@bortkins.bsky.social i wanted u to know i found an old photo of steeb on my phone & made it a sticker immediately

I’m escaping to the one place that hasn’t been corrupted by capitalism…SPAIN!

allow me to introduce my daughter

My hot takes are just like “This sucks” and “I prefer good things to happen”

my local chinese restaurant is selling their giant lobby fishtank. that fishtank has easily been kicking since i was a child RIP giant chinese takeout fishtank u were a real one

its preening time

should i read dune or have i suffered enough this year

a lot of this could be solved by just idk, stripping and re-distributing commonwealth funding from fee-based private schools to state schools

more strike action please 😁 shut down everything 🌻 disruption is retaking and redistributing power 🙈

new hedge burners record giving me joy when i really need it rn open.spotify.com/track/5sJm92...

every morning cuppy says a gentle, quiet “love you” under his cage blanket as i walk to the toilet to piss

been bleeding on off 3 months now & everything online says maybe cancer but there’s only room enough for one cancer in this family!!!!!!!!

the irony of presenting ID to collect an order of non-alcoholic gin

i wasnt asking for new melbourne jangle in 2026 but hell yeah i’ll take it

oh ffs

matieres fecales: we’re gonna hire the most problematic rich dude to catwalk ERD: hold my bier

If you find yourself following someone who is called woke ginger or pissed off nurse or whatever, they’re not your ally. Your ally is someone with an obscure Pokémon avatar called like ant piss aficionado

There's a lot going on right now, what with everything going on

end the work week, go to bed, wake up, spend 8 hours on the work you couldnt finish in the work week

cuppy just sang the tetris theme in full for the first time 😭 i’ve been teaching it to him for four years 😭😭 & i didn’t record it 😭😭😭😭😭

new pond new pond new pond new pond

This is so tragic it's actually incredibly funny

welp time to reconsider public transport

Narratively having Ever Given getting stuck in 2021 to set up Hormuz in 2026 is great foreshadowing. You want your audience to understand the basics of international shipping in a lower stakes context so you drop the real plot without a lot of saggy exposition about the minutiae of cargo logistics.

every email is a knife to my soul

im just a girl, standing in front of a bank, asking for free money please

THE JAPANESE OWL MASS DEATH HAS BROKEN ME

the trivago man’s face infuriates me. also his voice. fuck off trivago man

they’re friends :)

goose and i have dubbed this “the tummy corner”

splice pine lime 8 pack for $7. i live and die for the pine lime summer

still reckon a lot of what ppl online are pinning on perimenopause is actually socio-systemically induced depression. except the itchy earholes