Welcome to the international break! Here's a quick update on what we know about all twelve (!!) of Tottenham's injured players.

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com/tottenham-ho...

A 2-2 draw in which both teams had <1.0 xG feels pretty on point for a Tottenham - United match, actually.

*deletes match report draft*

Tottenham, it's too early for any bullshit. Please.

Spurs are trying to become the first team to defeat Manchester United five consecutive times. No pressure, lads.

If Tottenham Hotspur are to beat Manchester United for a record fifth consecutive time, they'll probably need to do it without Mohammed Kudus.

Look, it's a slow news day, ok?

No media enhanced "snub" can persist after a goal like THAT!

In all the excitement I failed to notice that Joao Palhinha was credited with the Tom Carroll Assist™ for the Micky van de Ven goal

A GLORY GLORY NIGHT IN EUROPE!

You could see the soul physically leave the body of Keeper McMustache the moment Palhinha's shot crossed the goal line.

This is fun, why don't we do this more often

It is my opinion that some goals in soccer should be given as two goals if they are exceptionally dope

Current mood

Your Spurs lineup vs. Copenhagen in the Champions League!

The UK report did not state the name of the alleged victim of the incident, which happened in early September. An Italian outlet, however did.

Lucas will miss the next two matches, and it's all water under the bridge between Frank, Micky, and Djed.

#SpursWomen #MindTheGap

Everyone seems to want to draw BIG CONCLUSIONS about the Van de Ven - Spence incident after yesterday's match. But we don't know what it means, and Frank doesn't think it's a big deal.

That sucked butt.

Oh hey it's a match against Chelsea, surely nothing bad will happen this time right cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com/tottenham-ho...

Impaleinha

Good news: Destiny, Cuti, and Wilson are available for selection! Bad news: Deki, Dom, and Takai are still among the shambling dead.

Micky Van Helsing

Boo-thany England

Jess N-AAHHHH-z

Thomas Frank-enstein Archie Grave Randal Kolo Muahahahahahahaha-ni Pape Matar Scare Dominic Soulless-anke Dead Spence Eeek Bissouma Radu Dracusin Guglielmo Sickario Chirpy

Alfie Whiteman, whose Spurs contract expired this past summer, has hung up his gloves and is now a photographer and filmmaker. And isn't THAT just a perfect career change?

Although Vic and Wilson are expected to be back in time for Saturday's Chelsea match, that put the number of players unavailable for yesterday's match up to 12.

Anyway, don't think about how we have two healthy central defenders and ten players injured, there's a match today! And because Daylight Savings Time is Bad and Dumb™, it kicks off at 4 pm ET.

*long resigned sigh*

Frank's gonna rotate for Newcastle in the League Cup tomorrow. But who, and how much, is an open question.

No, I will NOT apologize, how dare you

Rate the players after Tottenham's 3-0 win at Everton today! cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com/community-pl...

Was it pretty? Mostly... no. But it's a shutout win that sends Spurs up to third behind Arsenal and Bournemouth, and hands Everton their first loss at the Hill Dickinson.

Positive Tottenham fans: Spurs are unbeaten against Everton at Hill Dickinson Stadium. Negative Tottenham fans: Spurs have yet to win or draw against Everton at Hill Dickinson Stadium ffs #LevyOut

Welcome home, king

No Destiny, Cuti, or Big Dom for Sunday's tie at Everton.

Since we're all talking about apples #onhere, can you identify which of the below are apple varietals and which are lower-league English football clubs? Gravenstein Troon Hyslop Crab Redfield Beeston St Anthony York Imperial Graham Street Prims Limbertwig Abbey Hey Freyburg

Love it when we find out a member of our favorite football team has had surgery when he posts about it on Instagram.

You don't say, Tom!

Cuti Romero and Destiny Udogie were left in London ahead of tomorrow's Champions League match at Monaco. And there won't even be an Eric Dier reunion, as he injured his hamstring last week! 😭

There is an absolute plague of ACL injuries in woso right now, and this time it's bitten Tottenham Hotspur Women.

A bad result, but... maybe not a terrible performance?

Tottenham's set-piece coach is joining Graham Potter in Sweden... but as a side hustle. (He's not leaving Spurs.)

Thomas Frank's getting a lot of stick right now after yesterday's home loss to Villa. That's fine. But -- and hear me out -- sometimes ball just doesn't go goal and that's not entirely Frank's fault.

Tottenham 1-2 Aston Villa: Whoooooooof.

Hearing Cuti Romero felt something in training, is being replaced in the lineup by Kevin Danso.