Quillion Dollar Idea: booty shorts which change message when you shit yourself

when conservatives say they love their country, that doesn't include all the parts of America they hate; lefties and queer people and immigrants and indigenous peoples aren't "real America" when folks on the left say "I have complicated feelings about my country," we're referring to the whole thing

Me externalizing my costs: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!! Me when others externalize their costs onto me: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

they said it couldn't be done...

this reads as so fucking passive aggressive lmao

what idiot called it "castration" and not "cull de sack"

I want a shirt in this style but instead the text is "San Jose–San Francisco–Oakland, CA CSA". I'm not sure if it's funnier on one line or multiple

My manifesto? No, I only write screeds.

Every time I go to a Nerd Event, it's hilarious how the closer I approach the more I see these exact people

NOVEMBER 1975 GALES OF NOVEMBER ARE MASTERS OF SUPERIOR ONLY THE EDMUND FITZGERALD STANDS BEFORE THEM LAKES ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

The benefit of library books (besides it being free) is I feel compelled to finish them before they're due. Idk if I would have finished Harrow the Ninth if I hadn't had to return it. I spent the first 2/3rds of the book being like "wtf is going on" but it did turn around and get good at the end

the way you know bsky has Made It is that we're posting about it instead of twitter

they're running 9 car Bart trains now lmao?

Darmok AND Jalad at Tanagra? In this economy??

Yeah sorry I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. You've done a lot of work on yourself and now you're just not very dramatic anymore. I need stuff to gossip about and you're not providing anymore.

Franklikes

Gonna start calling sci-fi books "Frankenstein clones"

getting to the point at work I want to ask people at work productive questions like "how dare you" and "who the fuck do you think you are"

Keep honking! I'm listening to the Jet Set Radio Future soundtrack by Hideki Naganuma and you're part of the song now

goat stands for the goated of all time

Oh martial arts? I thought you said marital farts. Yeah, I'm into that. My wife and I fart together a lot.

wishing on a nosehair is similar to wishing on an eyelash but you get ironic monkey's paw style outcomes

I think it's really scary how many people mistake confidence for competence

this is more or less a "correct" score, but honestly it is high camp for me

just saw a guy with shirt that says, "Anti-pedos", which kind of just feels like that one tweet

I can't believe they didn't make Bryan Cranston say, "Go go, Power Rangers"

Jolene took my man and all I got was this stupid T-shirt!!

pretty ridiculous that :sickos: isn't a unicode emoji

earlier today I saw a guy wearing a shirt that read black text on a white, thusly: PEEPEEPOOPOO POOPOOPEEPEE PEEPEEPOOPOO There was no other text or marking of any kind on the rest of the shirt.

huh, apparently the district office for both of my state assemblypeople is in the same building as my physiatrist

sometimes it's fun to just look at my Wikipedia tabs to see what's been on my mind lately

hi, it's been two years since you applied for a job with us. can we keep your resume on file? we have no intention of ever hiring you, but in our archives you may attain a kind of immortality, your skills and accomplishments forever commemorated on our servers

blue grass

My aide de camp: The enemy approaches. I can hear their trumpets. I do not recognize their heraldry. Me, recognizing the music: Shakira... Shakira...

In line for the Scoragami event and for the subject matter being about sports, this crowd looks like a ton of nerds

Qullion Dollar Idea: a full album prog rock version of the Reading Rainbow theme

just found out I've been pronouncing Kathy Hochul's name wrong in my head

Had to stifle a guffaw on the bus at "depends what you mean by 'pedant' -> Wittgensteinian"

This is Newsom and Trump right now. (Trump is Megamind) youtu.be/sBbN4Cjzyrw

I wonder if there's a self-driving car hater-in-chief (a la @edzitron.com)

This will now be my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thing

they're sleeping 😴💤

Just realized a silver lining of the Census thing, which is that Trump actually cares about elections

Stop debating this website's growth potential. I don't care. I'm a digital hermit crab. If it dies, I'll find another shell as I've done a dozen times before.

tfw track 1 and side 1 are the same thing

Just saw a bunch of people kicked off of a NJ Transit bus at the PABT simply because they're not allowed to pay via tapping credit card, which is supported in most other circumstances. The number of hoops required to jump through to willingly pay your fare is ridiculous.

I'm not the only con goer who is taking the bus to the convention center!!!!