A thread about this miserable moment, and vending machines that you pour your thimble of joy into anyway.

Mustaches IN! We might not solve any world problems, but we will help you forget how shitty everything is as you run around @elbowroom1970.bsky.social in your fancy mustache and giant 70s shades waving around your finger guns.

These are genuinely making me weepy.

Partial to the Frida Kahlo one on this shitty Monday.

We can tell you who these brand new motel key fobs are NOT for: Russell Motherfascist Vought.

Life is hard out here for a dick.

Just put in an order for Black History Month. Oh, yeah. Vending history! #ShagginWagon

Watching Rogue One. Not that any of you could relate to that.

Just bought Pop Rocks for the Shaggin' Wagon, so you know that my economic genius is 💯

YOU GUYS. Caviar and Tots and the Champers of Beer. I'm ded. #NYE #HappyNewYear #ShagginWagon #1970ElbowRoom

😻😻😻

The Shaggin' Wagon's got a theme song, y'all. 🤣 /ht to the husband of purveyor of the Shaggin' Wagon for sharing this most important truth.

You people are WEIRD, and I we LIKE it. You guys bought out Mystery Packs, which I have to say: they were full of mystery and I hope you had a blast. #shagginwagon

We don't have their products YET, but in honor of such a great and holy day, we did add a full @cardsagainsthumanity.com set for y'all to play while you're having some cocktails at @elbowroom1970.bsky.social #happyholidays for horrible people, *from* horrible people!

Forgot to get something for those (adult) stockings? Need a bevvy to steel you before that family dinner? Kill two birds with one bar: @elbowroom1970.bsky.social for the hooch + Shaggin' Wagon for the wrapped prezzies! MYSTERIES FOR ALLLLLLLLL

None more black.

I, humble vending machine owner, cannot compete with AI giving away everything for free!

Now, we here at Shaggin' Wagon HQ aren't sure, but we MIGHT be the first vending machine approved for @cardsagainsthumanity.com sales. Can we gloat about this highest of honors? Because we are PROUD. Coming soon to one vending machine, nowhere near most of you! #ShagginWagon

Second set of keys: FOUND. I put them in a Smart Place™ Shout out if you too suffer from the curse of SmrtPlace-itis.

Gettin' ready for the recon mission: LOST KEYS 😭

A thread about this miserable moment, and vending machines that you pour your thimble of joy into anyway.

Or perhaps we'll go with Dirty Santa, just because.

The sprites who man the Shaggin' Wagon are having a very dumb day, having lost not one but two sets of keys. ANYWAY... Added some fun, fabulous things today amidst losing keys. 🧵

We keep giving it the college try but it keeps not making enough money to sustain itself. Let us know if you need custom orders of any of @ominousrabbit.com's catalog, which is vast.

We're devastated by Rob Reiner and wife's untimely, devastating passing. Hold your people tight, and carry the generosity of spirit Rob Reiner brought to everything he directed and acted in, and to life itself.

New products from BEYONDDDDDDDDDD #ShagginWagon

Where the Shaggin' Wagon began... sort of. #ShagginWagon

My owner wrote a manifesto of vending machines. Times are weird, y'all.

Got some of these babies to go in the Shaggin' Wagon, ...𝔦𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔪𝔶 𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔣𝔱

ohhhhh noooooooooo

Phancy! #ShagginWagon