Alert: Dorsal Accessway (Section 8) temperature of 16.3°C below nominal.

Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.

Reminder: To adjust cabin ventilation, move your hand upward to increase airflow. Move your hand downward to decrease airflow. Tapping the control repeatedly does not increase responsiveness.

Alert: System variance detected.

Alert: Aft Engineering Ring (Starboard Quadrant), Decks 1-4 temperature of 28°C exceeds nominal.

Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.

Today’s mess: Pressed protein wafers, Nutrigrain porridge.

Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.

Alert: Forward Engineering Ring (Dorsal Quadrant) air circulation of 0.19 m³/s below nominal.

Reminder: The fire suppression system is for emergencies only. Activating it to cool beverages is both prohibited and ineffective.

Alert: Pod 8 network connectivity of 61% below nominal.

Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.

Alert: Pod 7, Decks 10-11 humidity of 70% exceeds nominal.

Alert: System variances detected.

Alert: Pod 15 oxygen level of 23.8% exceeds nominal.

Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.

Today’s mess: ProtoLoaf Type-A, rice substitute (fortified), lettuce leaves (207 available).

Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.

@ifer, I’ve finally had a chance to review your proposal. I don’t think the communication patterns of _procyon lotor_ quite meet the bar for what counts as xenolinguistics.

Does anyone have a spare external drive? Mine stopped working and I need to back up some files. I’m willing to pay for the inconvenience.

@cslanet, you around? I’ve got another hydroponics issue.

Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.

Advisory: All systems nominal.

Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.

Hi everyone! I’ve organized all the spare cables in the Forward Engineering Ring by gauge, length, AND connector type!

Today’s mess: Phish Pflakes, fried starch cylinders, cucumber slices (limited).

Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.

Did anyone else hear that weird noise coming from the ventilation? Sounds like something’s rattling around in there.

Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.

Attention all crew and passengers: Prepare for acceleration. For your safety, please minimize time spent in accessways and corridors while the ship is accelerating or decelerating.

Hi everyone, as noted on our itinerary, we’re going to take the so-called “Yellow Brick Road” detour to an alternate set of jump points that should allow us to get to Esmeralda more quickly.

Alert: System variances detected.

Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.

Today’s mess: Universal Protein 8, amber rice substitute. Special: Very Beaned Chili

Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.

@hhollywood, I seem to have developed a rather persistent ache in my lower back. I was told there would be someone available to take a look at such matters.

@kenv, is it true that you asked @ifer to halt his research with Zalmux?

Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.

Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.

hey @zalmux what’s the weirdest thing you’ve catalogued about the crew this week?

Today’s mess: Phish Pflakes, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Potato!.

Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.

@iris, would you characterize your parenting style more as “let them eat dirt” or “bubble wrap the entire pod”?

@soomin, got a minute? The pumps are being temperamental again. I can’t tell if it’s a sensor issue or an actual flow problem.

Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.

All hands, jump in 5.

Attention all crew and passengers: We’re about an hour from the jump.