maureen, it's because you live in chippenham, hope this helps

That "assassination attempt" was staged, and I'm not entirely convinced that the successful assassination came about organically either

My sister regrets the day we ever saw Return To Silent Hill, as Silent Hill 2 is THE video game of all time, and I am still <-> close to going off about how badly Christophe Gans misunderstood it at any given time of the day

i just don't see how you can underscore the climax of your show with anna meredith's nautilus AND expect me to pay attention, that's all #StraightThroughNoIntervalTweets

Once more rushing to Bluesky, in the second #Taskmaster ad break, to see how noted Joel Dommett enjoyer @stevenperkins.bsky.social is getting on this week

i keep misreading my calendar and thinking i've got a show booked called john mulaney is the villain, which, in fairness, i would ABSOLUTELY book to see if it were a show that existed

the lads in the office are kicking off at wordle today, meanwhile i'm just delighted that the crossword is kicking my ass because it's been so long since it was genuinely challenging

so there's a place in islington that does a full scottish breakfast, so i guess i'm never eating anywhere else in london ever again

anyway the new tattoo is absolutely perfect and i'm completely in love with it, i may or may not have done a bit of a dance and/or jumped up and down when i saw it

absolutely love going into my notes app and wondering what the FUCK i meant by whatever little titbit i have previously written

(yes i could also go with theatre tokens but frankly curtains ain't fuckin cheap)

i won a gift card after answering a survey, and nothing NOTHING has cemented my advance into middle age like the glee i felt upon realising i could use it to buy curtains

If you see this, post an image you saved because it made you laugh

the olivier awards red carpet (green) is the opposite of the occasional taskmaster green (red)

it's nice when the theatre creatives know exactly what the audience wants and agree to let them have it, hundreds of fuckin nerds singing the air scotia song with the utmost glee #IntervalTweets

if you are what you eat, then i'm going to be a whole-ass goddamned haggis by the time i get home

The constant portrayal of weasels as working class criminals is class war.

Immediately rushing to Bluesky in the first #Taskmaster ad break to see how noted Joel Dommett enjoyer @stevenperkins.bsky.social is getting on

LOOOOOVE when the trains are semi-fucked *and* I have to get up early tomorrow to catch a goddamned plane *and* I got nowhere near enough sleep last night, my life choices are NOT coming together neatly

spent easter accidentally binge-watching a knight of the seven kingdoms, and can confidently say that ser lyonel baratheon is the best thing that has ever happened to me

i am now listening to jesus christ superstar, in case anyone was concerned 👍🏻👍🏻

I don't believe that a low ponytail counts as a ponytail

tbh i think the only good genre of musical theatre is "stars marc antolin"

OH THANK GOD i thought i'd bought a fuckin shitty seat for one flew over the cuckoo's nest tomorrow, but i've bought a vaguely-restricted but nonetheless comfortable one instead

hot cross buns and mike flanagan's midnight mass, if there's another way that i *should* be spending good friday then do NOT tell me, i do NOT want to know

"all writers use AI" nope, get the entire fuck out of here with that

Post something random or you’ll have an AWFUL April

i do not understand why it's so hard to convince people to watch australian tv shows, but if you ever thought that broadchurch could use more swearing, more lesbians, and more crocodiles, then PLEASE watch deadloch

(i'm finally reading master & commander, and i'm immediately *obsessed* with stephen; he makes a terrible first impression, he's broke as hell, and he DOES NOT KNOW what is going on 🧡)

aubrey+maturin are the og golden retriever boyfriend+black cat girlfriend, y/y?

you raise me up is one of the worst songs ever written and i hate that i'm too tired to wheel over and turn the radio off

i am once again cat-sitting in the house with terrible internet. i have played some piano and i have cooked some food and i've made a start on deadloch season 2, so i'm having a GREAT time so far

my hobbies include reading, writing, music, and weaponising my least desirable character traits by procrastinating one hobby in order to practise another

(i remain, as ever, utterly devoted to and invested in the lyric hammersmith secret theatre ensemble, over a full FUCKING decade later)

one of my favourite things in theatre is when an actor is very committed to trying to convince the audience that they are less physically imposing than someone who is both shorter and slenderer than they are

not sure how i feel about the new state of the cultural landscape, wherein i find myself having to explain george fouracres to my co-workers

tfw you've agreed to play banjo for open air shakespeare, and you need the extra volume that fingerpicks bring, and you're trying to write notes as you rehearse, and now you know why taylor swift holds a pen like an absolute fucking maniac

i don't know who horatio gould is but he looks like a teeny tiny guy williams and it is freaking me OUT

well i'm glad the journey home from sloane square is apparently muscle memory at this point, 'cos john proctor is the villain is SO GOOD that i spent the entire journey dissociating (and periodically reconnecting and wondering where the fuck i was this time and where i was going next)

omg i managed to book the 3 hour show for the matinee and the 1h50m show for the evening, *and* the evening show starts an hour earlier than usual! fully worth having to power-walk across the city! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

UM, HELLO, EXCUSE ME, NOBODY TOLD ME THAT BEAR MCCREARY IS HOT???

professional achievement of the day: i remembered that the word 'atmosphere' exists, so i didn't have to send a professional email containing the word 'vibes'

i bought a pack of cheesestrings for my packed lunches this week, and somehow i keep forgetting about them until i pull out my lunch and see the cheesestring. what a stupendous gift from my past self, who says a dodgy memory is *always* a curse?

stop 👏🏻 putting 👏🏻 bits 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 henry 👏🏻 iv 👏🏻 in 👏🏻 henry 👏🏻 v 👏🏻 #IntervalTweets

when i left work, i had 336 miles worth of petrol left in the car. now i'm in stratford, i have 346 miles worth of petrol left. like.........?????

i know there's toxic masculinity everywhere on the internet, but there's also the r/bald subreddit and i think every boy and man should get on there because it's so sweet and wholesome and supportive, just men uplifting men 🧡🧡🧡

fun as hell that i'm probably going to be home from stratford-upon-avon tonight earlier than i was coming home from london last night, YOU WOULD THINK BEING CLOSER WOULD BE QUICKER BUT APPARENTLY NOOOOO

my tube has changed destination, so although it is still not going to my station, i am at least now on the correct branch so don't have to change for ages 🥰🥰🥰

(this year i guess i'm getting tattoos in lieu of a personality, i'm mostly enjoying the process)