This soot sprite is sick of me

I'm grateful that my stomach has calmed down and everything but did I have to immediately shit an entire brick 😔 Stummy really giving me best of both worlds like I'm hannah montana

Pear vanilla long drink is my new guilty pleasure tell your mom we're over 😔✋

Bought one of them 300g america ya :D burgers from lidl for my trash lunch today It was real flavorful for a microwave burgle, very yummy

Oh deer

Going to see Volbeat again with dad and his gf 🎵😈 I already know it's going to be fire

I don't mind if no one else finds me funny, I make myself wheeze all the time

Using my free will to stand on my bed and loom over lucifer

Listening to those made up reddit stories where everyone but OP is criminally, cartoonishly evil, then OP destroys their lives and the whole thing is written like a lost vampire lycan hybrid queen wattpad story

Mmm I can feel the cold energy drink going down my throat and hit my stomach This is what I wake up for

I apologise to my followers who have to read about my stummy aches, diabolical shits and cat activities

to the tiktok accounts that will only upload one part:

Someone said "Maybe the genie really did make that wish come true" and I think they may be right because I can't see ibuprofen the same

Stomach problems persist but so do I

I'm gonna be honest, if I say next weekend, I mean the weekend next week, not this week Same goes with seasons, I don't care that summer is over, last summer is the summer that happened last year! Next winter will be in 2026!!! I don't care!!

Went shopping with mom and sisters, was nice

We have halloween decorations at home

Wi-fi is down because of repairs so I'm using my phone's connection and it's not as good 😔

Fart tried to escape me but I held it in and not only did I feel the air bubble bubbling further in, I also somehow felt the same type of movement in my boob so my scientific conclusion is that unfarted farts are stored in the tit

There's a girl with long, silky, pin straight, flowing, flaming red hair and I'm incredibly jealous

Of course when I leave my house, I get bloated and gassy Am I outside intolerant

My body heard "let's leave in 30 minutes, have a coffee first" and decided to empty my entire guts (before I even had said coffee) Like I had to to get naked, it was so bad

In my first ever playthrough of stardew valley I married Alex but after some time, couple of kids and noticing that Abigail is kinda fine too, I wanted a divorce I thought they have to dislike you and then they will ask for a divorce so I shot Alex with rocks until our hearts were at 0

Fall is so pretty but now my hands are cold all the time

I hate when people get so pretentious about microwave pizzas I agree they're not good for you but let's not pretend they are "disgusting gross tasting garbage that you should never ever eat" because the unfortunate truth is that they fucking slap, especially with some chili sauce and extra cheese

Lucifer is so cute when he's displeased about something He lifts his head up just so he can look at you over his nose like you're pathetic garbage

I be profen all night

The people love my mocha squares They're YUMMY as always

Mocha square Soon it will become many

Me calling Lucifer but it progressively gets worse (he still loves all of them) Luuuucifer~ Lucifer Luci Lus Lsh LSH (L is silent) *a sound that can only be described as a held-in sneeze* MIUMAUMIUMAUMIUMAUMIUMAU

Turning 25 in a few weeks and if my family hasn't arranged a cake with this pic on it, I'm going to riot

Did this but for my boob Holding a tit is one thing but placing a sympathetic hand on top as well is even better

Asked a friend if he thinks I have republican bangs and he didn't even deny it, he said only if I take a millenial type selfie from a high angle Devastating news

Unfortunate bowel movements today

Why does this multivitamin carbon tablet taste like a coughed up tonsil stone I bought two tubes of this shit, don't do this to me pirkka

I hate that snapchat filters have songs that automatically play when you test them out because why would you tell everyone nearby that I'm using a handsome chad filter

Luci after some pats and scritches

I think they got my order wrong

He's flabbergasted that I didn't want to stay and watch him wash his peenar Like my bad king

He *was* the little spoon Now he's a... spork?

He's the little spoon

ANOTHER KITTY UNDER THA BLANKET They don't like when people clean

We're under the same blankie

Im sorry, but someone finally needs to teach republican women how make up works, because I swear to god these two pictures are basically the same.

M'aiq walked in the bathroom, not knowing I also was going to the bathroom to take a dookie Unfortunate fate for my poop support animal once again

Cramping and stuff Ice cream would fix this I think

He's a gamer

Lucifer really is a big boy No wonder M'aiq loves to wrestle with him all oiled up

He may be sleeping but he's ready to throw paws any moment (mainly at me)