i think for next halloween i’d like to be James from team rocket

much respect for Californians trying to vote. we also have a jungle primary, but y’alls is much much worse

at a party i played a party game where they asked me to write down how i feel about a big body of water. I was thinking of Lake Michigan and jotted down that it is “vast yet uncaring.” then they reveal that this is how you feel about your own sexuality. and all i gotta say is — fair enough

special place in my heart for the girlies who post photos that reveal they are bad at aesthetics. especially those with artsy jobs or hobbies

finally got around to watching Jury Duty 2/Company Retreat, which i wasn’t sure about at first, but by the final climax i was weeping and saying “oh my god, they did it again”

if you have a lot of rich friends, it’s kinda funny to be a little mean to the least rich ones. just tease em a bit. like what’s with the rich guy pretense? you can’t even afford the things this other guy does. you’re practically middle class

gotta be artax drowning in the swamp, but i was also really fucked up by that part in temple of doom where they tear a guy’s beating heart out of his chest. what was that all about bsky.app/profile/anne...

i was mentally & emotionally prepared for the idea that as i got older, women would start treating me like an old guy at the bar & club & concert. this is not what has happened. it turns out that the same unhinged 20 year olds who chatted me up at 25 are still chatting me up, because they are insane

in the summer i get at least 10% more racially ambiguous

maybe i said this already but on my birthday i decided if anyone’s known me for 20 years or more they are fuckin STUCK WITH ME, that is TOO LONG for it to not mean something. we were kids together, we’re gonna do this forever

this was the year i started to feel my age, & my response has been to party even more urgently and relentlessly. finna die someday, gotta enjoy the night shit before the senescence kicks in. smoke em if you got em

boring answer but my most default drink is just a vodka soda with well spirits. i generally prefer cheapness and unfussiness in my drinking, though of course the occasion and context should dictate the order bsky.app/profile/slot...

my friend says her daughter didn’t know the word “penis,” so she’d call it a “vagino”

it’s funny that marxism is essentially a religion, with this very long book that you have to know and quote. I see myself as a low ranking member of its priest class (a lay minister?), a role i didn’t expect to play in life, though maybe it was inevitable. also, like priests, i’m broke as hell

clicking on short guy fashion content just to teach my algorithm how tall i am

there’s a line in hot girl summer where ty dolla sign says “that’s a five-star dick,” and it makes me think about how uniquely embarrassing it is to talk approvingly of one’s own penis. so dorky. much better & more credible to leave the reviews to other people, or at most, do ironic disparagement

last time i was in old navy a woman was in the men’s section conspiratorially telling her friend “you can shop over here too! they can’t stop you.” i loved this silly moment, and the next time i was there, i tried it out & bought a pair of women’s gigantic-legged linen pants

we finished the final episode of our show Join or Die yesterday and i’ve already cut it together and watched it like nine times. crying a lil bit

people who love AI have a made up, self flattering idea that there are some people who don’t want to “learn how to use AI.” there is nothing to learn. everyone who uses the internet knows how to search on google or use a chat bot.

paradoxically, the problem with Babygirl is that it’s not horny enough

the guy in Funny Games breaks the fourth wall and says stuff at the camera like “you want me to kill this family right? you’re such a sick fuck. you are a bad person” and it’s like, bro. what i want is the wind that makes you cheat from Challengers blowing through, then you kiss the other boy

lindsey interviews oscar apnews.com/article/our-...

got an email that said “happy birthday” and my Gmail app offered to “Summarize this email,” and when it did, it helpfully explained: “Karen wished Mike Cavalier a happy birthday.”

@bruzzeseonline.bsky.social new yorkers need your flag www.instagram.com/reel/DYA8dwS...

Obsessed with this and not just because one of my music videos is featured. A return to what the internet is at its best. third spaces, libraries, curation

my coworker calls his deviant behavior “vice signaling” 💀

My local paper does videos where journalists tell you what they’re reporting on, and it’s sort of adorable because they look a little nervous & awkward doing it. But then they also let this girl, Hannah, do whatever she wants, and her videos are so funny. In this one a bird attacks her

“the club can’t even handle me right now” is the bpd edm anthem

my friend was visiting & got so drunk at the bar that I had to literally drag her to the uber. i put her on my couch and she later crawled to the bathroom and ripped the toilet paper holder thing off the wall. my point here is that i was wrong: even though people get older, we do not change

in my own personal social media state of the union address, i would say that i finally understand bluesky and think it is good. X is still ugly, but my particular algorithm has really good shit on it. linkedin is an exhausting waste. I finally relented & downloaded threads and it is hilariously bad

happy may day! every right you have as a worker was written in blood ❤️

I drink redbulls sometimes and would be okay if they tasted a little worse. I’d be okay if they gave me a hangover, even; they should feel like they have consequences. Monster energy drinks have these flavors that try to be yummy, and that’s bad. They’re the flavored vape cartridges of energy drinks

funny zizek line: “Has the downward spiral of our public life reached its zero point with the phenomenon of the CostCo Guys?”

haha damn

saw a video where a guy was like “you don’t need to be friends with your coworkers! you don’t need to know them at all really.” which i understand, given his profession (office worker). but in teaching, a forbidden truth is that your school is like a big dysfunctional family. them’s the breaks

we used to be a society that swiped our credit cards, our metrocards. Now we just tap. Part of the broader de-eroticization of culture and society, imo. Make America Tipdrill Again

i go through these fallow periods where i don’t go out as much and don’t tend to my friendships, then i have one solid night out & all the big feelings that come with it and i think, hmm. how the fuck have i wasted so much time

one of the least accurate descriptions I’ve seen

One remarkable thing about Beef season 2 is that it separates out feelings from relationship choices. The show acknowledges that two people can deeply know they’re wrong together, but stay together anyway. or they can love each other very much and yet still decide to break up

what if we kissed… in the liminal space of the abandoned Baskin Robins .. aha ha, just kidding.. unless..?

i’d make a little community theater where they also have concerts and stand up and improv and film festivals and it would all be gloriously amateurish and maybe there’s a bar in there too bsky.app/profile/mdru...

mgk doing a track with Fred Durst feels lowkey ominous ?? vibeshift goin the wrong way

who let the pope read Baudrillard

in the 2010s we were always on rooftops but seemingly never rooftops we were allowed to be on

The reverse principle holds for the green koopa troopas (who march straight off the cliff) and red troopas (who turn around at the precipice, choosing to march endlessly than face the abyss) bsky.app/profile/alex...

they shouldn’t be allowed to show us this

i’ve never seen the Pitt. (pretend reason: the show does not appeal to me. real reason: i don’t have my parents’ HBO login anymore.) but as i understand it, the show is basically 24 in a hospital

a long, ridiculous, outstanding post. the kind of thing you’d see on The Awl. it’s premature to say “blogging is back baby,” but it sure looks possible bsky.app/profile/cait...

i watched Nuremberg and (forgive me) kinda enjoyed its breezy first act or so. I found the idea of humanizing Göring and his family a striking choice, even when I knew the conceit would be abandoned. but once the trial got going — hoo boy. this was ultimately the worst movie i’ve seen all year

okay my Bluesky brain trust. here’s what i’m trying to figure out. if watching a movie in the theater is the big screen, and my phone is a little screen, what is my tv at home? what is my computer? are these medium screens? that doesn’t seem right