I don't know what to do about him anymore.

You can't kill me in a way that matters

Go to sleep, Twig.

Hey fuckers! We're looking to recruit a 4th to the team! Here's some info on what we are looking for and shit!

Actually, I took the yacht out yesterday in the Caribbean. Works fine to me. Paint's chipping away, though

This account looks like a great place for a Shen Yun ad

Hot Life Tips: Sometimes you just gotta eat the cereals to make the cereals Thank you for reading!

We have come to make an announcement, we at AV would like to say goodbye to @mystictactician.com as she'll be leaving the team on good terms! We wish her well in whatever her future in Splatoon holds! Thank you for playing with us and you'll ALWAYS be apart of the AV family that keeps on growing!

aquatic vanguard was 59 years ago. think about that

AV fam really pulled up to my wedding 😭 💙 I’m so thankful for the lifelong friends a silly little squid game gave me. Some of these mfs flew 2000+ miles for a single night to watch me marry the love of my life I’m blessed to have such amazing people supporting me I love my AV fam frfr 🫶 - Ike

I will double the intern and give it to the next person

100 thousand Aquatic Vanguards or dinner with the social media intern

Only if you behave with Neato

Does anyone remember when Graggle Simpson was a part of Aquatic Vanguard?

Do you guys fuck with Blop Bop?

No that just means the audience members are the ones doing something wrong

Notice how nobody in the audience at Riptide complained about me, the social media intern? Clearly I'm doing something right

I really, really, REALLY don't know what you're on about

You guys dont know this but, that really bad intern we have finally revealed themselves to me today at Riptide, I would out them but I would then be outting myself Just wanted to vent about having this info and not being able to reveal it, so bye

what a yapper

I am already regretting my decision to allow the previous intern from that accursed site back as they have already made a spelling error, thus damaging our brand. I, the better intern, will be monitoring them more closely now. Failure to comply will result in termination... OF THEIR LIFE

FURTHER MENTION OF THIS SPELLING ERROR WILL RESULT IN DEVASTATING CONSEQUENCES. - Returning AV intern

Afternoon, fellow AV fans. After years of intense struggle with the ruthless members of the team, I have managed to re-assume my role as the social media inter. While the path to my return was violent, my triumph is glorious indeed. anyway who ripping they tidd

I DONT USUALLY MAKE THE DRIP PIC POSTS OKAY? IKE NEVER SHOWED UP WHEN I TRIED TO TAG HIM FOR SOME REASON, IM THE NEWER INTERN AND I WAS ON 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LEAVE ME BEEEE

Damn bro I botched the hell outta this post, maybe we do need that old int-... no NO NOT THEM!!

4th place, 4TH PLACE! I TOLD YOU IM TIRED, GOD FUCK

I want to go to sleep i had 5 hours of sleep oh god why did I play Splatoon SOS the tournament on 5 hours of sleep what is wrong with me Oh btw AV got 3rd in Lantern Bracken I think! @twigthebluepikmin.bsky.social @shmeebtm.bsky.social @mystictactician.com @ike who doesnt actually have a bluesky

I'm on AV now 🎉

What's up bitches! We are like Frankenstein (the monster) bc we live again and got idk what place in SoS today but it was in Hammerhead bracket idfk! But that's not important, what is is that we'd like to announce that @shmeebtm.bsky.social & @mystictactician.com have joined our roster!

Rebranding to Terrestrial Vanguard

Oh yeah luti thing happen today. We lost, oh shit Uh yeah that's all BYE

What's this "Div 4" stuff? Do you guys really not know how to divide 3 yet??? It's 2 you fools

LIVE AV REACTION

www.twitch.tv/SplatoonTour... on stream with @aquaticvanguard.bsky.social

Who is this guy? Anyway go watch him bc he's part of AV at seabattle or else you'll suffer our curse!

I blame Neato for causing us to be in D Tier, he ruined the logo with his presence in our team chat

Our one twitter intern really wants the password to our Blueksy account but I think it's funnier that we never give it to him so ripg bozo lmao

New Year, New me This means everyone is off the team and we are replacing them all with random people from other teams

Twig is now legally allowed to drink, this is a national emergency. Get into your Doomsday Bunkers IMMEDIATELY

These cookies are AV endorsed

Fuck

I can see you

I mean it

AV is not responsible for any damages caused by "completely wasted ike"

They should've called that new Nintendo Alarm Clock the Aquatic Vanclock, what a fumble on their part

Shut the fuck up

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