If only I could be this creative with the English language. Hits the nail on the head perfectly.

Farage Lied. Brexit Failed. He conned Britain into Brexit. Now he’s using Reform to do it again. He won’t stop the boats — Brexit made the crisis worse. Most Brits want to rejoin the EU. Farage thrives on fear. Don’t fall for it twice. #RejoinEU #FarageExposed #Bregret #StopTheScapegoating

No football for me today - have to attend a family event. I’m saddened to hear that my son lost his Saturday job at Woolworths and aghast that my daughter is now an Australian citizen.

Prince Andrew deemed a threat by security services Concerns about the royal’s links to alleged Chinese spies reached highest levels of government, say sources www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family...

If the government won’t admit Brexit’s damage, an independent Royal Commission must. A calm, forensic case from former MEP Andrew Duff. ⤵️ @eastangliabylines.co.uk @andrewduffeu.bsky.social

COYP!

Canada's magnificently diverse landscapes and relatively uninhabited land highlight humanity's insignificance against the power of nature | Ian Kirke @iankirke.bsky.social

Today, I did the unthinkable—I willingly bought a pair of slippers. Not under duress or as a gift for someone else. Just… because. I’ve reached the bottom of the slippery slope haven’t I?

@iankirke.bsky.social Thank you for the exceptional article about our vast and diverse country! Next visit, please try to come to the East Coast, to the Maritimes. Lots of beaches and bears 🐻 …. I scared this critter up my tree one Spring morning coming out the front door. 😁

Shaved my bonce. Got a head massage. Felt like a peach on velvet. Turns out, beauty is in the eye of the bald bloke holding the voucher. My latest piece: Turkish Delight: A Close Shave with Beauty It’s got razors, research, and ridiculous metaphors. Read it. Feel good! kirkeytalk.com/turkish-deli...

Canada's magnificently diverse landscapes and relatively uninhabited land highlight humanity's insignificance against the power of nature | Ian Kirke @iankirke.bsky.social @centralbylines.co.uk

I didn’t go to Canada to find myself. I went to escape people… and maybe glimpse a bear. In this latest piece, I trade crowds for glaciers, silence, and a humbling confrontation with nature’s power. kirkeytalk.com/canada-calli... #CanadaCalling #ExploreCanada #TravelWriting #IntoTheWild

Canada's magnificently diverse landscapes and relatively uninhabited land highlight humanity's insignificance against the power of nature | Ian Kirke

Let’s just take a moment to remember …

Coming soon on www.kirkeytalk.com I don’t forget-I curate. If it’s not laced with irony, grief, or a Level 42 lyric, it probably didn’t make the cut. My brain’s a storyteller, not a storage unit. Read why I only remember the vibe — & how science backs me up. #MemoryMatters #emotionalintelligence

“We all know Brexit’s to blame for the crisis facing UK steel.. While Keir Starmer fiddles in India, Rome burns. The British steel industry now faces a calamity so severe, insiders say it could be “terminal” www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Reform UK intends to withdraw our human rights They want us to join Russia and Belarus as the only European states not signed up to the ECHR @janiceheppenstall.bsky.social @sussexbylines.co.uk

#JustForOneDay reminded me how lucky I was to grow up in the 80s. Geldof rallied music to help Ethiopia & made swearing iconic even if he didn’t say “Give us your fucking money!” The show was a blast with a singing Thatcher too! Back then hope, love & optimism ruled. Or am I just a nostalgic fool?

I never imagined that a complimentary cup of tea at John Lewis and a free cinema ticket from Sky would spark such a profound shift in perspective… kirkeytalk.com/my-day-so-far/ #DowntonAbbeyFinale #CinemaRevelations #UnexpectedWisdom #StorytellingMatters

Seeking silence in sacred places: an agnostic’s love affair An epiphanic moment of silence, stillness and solitude in Liverpool Cathedral led an agnostic to investigate what he had experienced @iankirke.bsky.social

Seeking silence in sacred places: an agnostic’s love affair An epiphanic moment of silence, stillness and solitude in Liverpool Cathedral led an agnostic to investigate what he had experienced @iankirke.bsky.social @centralbylines.co.uk

I can’t live with this burden any longer. The secrecy of it all is too much. Confession is the only antidote to this pain. Yesterday I ate a fuck off Belgian bun with a cup of tea on my own after securing it for free on my Lidl Plus App. There! I now feel cleansed. #Lidl #LidlPlus #LidlUK

When Arthur’s teacher asked him what I did for a job he replied, without hesitation or deviation, “He supports Notts County!’ Arthur - the legend! Accurate too! COYP!

The Grizzly Notts County fan. Habitat: the darkest reaches of the lower forest. Diet: despair, disappointment and anything sold in Spoons. #nottscounty

FFS Starmer grow a backbone and hold Farage to account for the shit show our economy is in and stop pandering to his grotesque rhetoric. He’s a spiv, conman, fascist and lowlife. As a barrister you should have tbe skillset to regularly dismantle him. The Labour Party

'This country needs migrants' Zack Polanski, the new leader of the Green Party in England and Wales, speaks to #BBCBreakfast about his views on immigration

The ‘Brexit’ deal of the Conservative government left the UK outside the ‘Dublin procedure,’ whereby people seeking asylum in the UK could be returned to the first EU country they entered northeastbylines.co.uk/news/politic...

People (other than mathematicians) who regularly use the term “100%” annoy me one hundred percent of the time.

Imagine civil war (predicted by Farage) causes UK migration. Making the journey to a country where you have family (in my case Australia) on arrival you are vilified, harassed, criminalised & hated for being instinctive. No need to imagine if you are making the trek in the opposite direction.

🔗 www.instagram.com/p/DODTqYhCmEw/

"Prior to 2016, very few people arrived... in small boats… Between July 2014 & May 2016… NINE confirmed incidents... By 2018... 539 migrants had attempted to travel to the UK by small boats in that year." from "Legislative Scrutiny: Nationality & Borders Bill (Part 3)" 🔗 tinyurl.com/parlsmlboatb...

All down to Farage.

Does the irony ever land with those who don’t know the difference between the Union flag & cross of St. George? A Turk he’d be vilified by Farage worshippers. Once village idiots were isolated. To the super rich, represented by Reform, who hold onto power by stoking division, they are vital assets.

What a wanker!

That’s the way to do it!

I’ve been turfed out of my seat by a Man Utd fan as I was sitting in his reserved seat. Oh well, got to feel sorry for the lad as it’s the only thing he’ll claim this season.

Sticks and stones: but how harmful are nicknames? Can we really not be harmed by words, or can they be as damaging and hurtful as sticks and stones can be? @iankirke.bsky.social

Sticks and stones: but how harmful are nicknames? Can we really not be harmed by words, or can they be as damaging and hurtful as sticks and stones can be? @iankirke.bsky.social @centralbylines.co.uk

Farage is grooming the morons again. Believing a man who is despised by all European heads of state (bar probably Hungary) can repatriate displaced human beings without international cooperation is for the fairies. But then I forget 52% of the electorate fell for his bullshit fairy story in 2016.

If this is for real I fear that Europe will once again be the crucible for WW3.

How has it come to pass that our national security is in the hands of two loathsome human beings both of whom are revered by a Parliamentarian who encouraged a majority of the electorate to vote to undo a peaceful alliance with our nearest neighbours?

The death of my funeral: have a celebration instead! A funeral marks the inevitability of death, a sombre event; a joyous alternative is to celebrate with photos, music and personal tributes @iankirke.bsky.social

In ancient times when I joined the police I was issued with a lump of wood to protect myself, wore a helmet that resembled a coal scuttle and used a force issue rubber torch that resembled a dildo. God I must have looked intimidating. #police

The death of my funeral: have a celebration instead! A funeral marks the inevitability of death, a sombre event; a joyous alternative is to celebrate with photos, music and personal tributes @iankirke.bsky.social @centralbylines.co.uk

Nearly a decade on from the Brexit referendum and almost five from when Brexit was supposedly ‘done’, voters who are genuinely happy with the Brexit we have are few and far between, and no political party is seriously suggesting that it’s a success centralbylines.co.uk/news/brexit/...

Inspired, in part, by the passing of a beautiful friend. kirkeytalk.com/the-death-of...

You can’t be a real football fan unless you predict a 3-0 win for your team on the opening day of the season. COYP!